i woke up one morning this week and realized what it is- i'm happy here, alone in los angeles.
of course i'm not actually alone- i have some amazing and diverse friends who have helped me to find this new love. but there it is. things here are wonderful.
when i broke up with exBoy last year, it was the beginning of the upswing- i began spending more time with my lovely ladies and less at home. i went to knitting groups more- i went to festivals and dinners and classes. i learned my way around- i found more crafts and places to dance. when i moved out april 1st, it was as if everything finally fell into place. the first time i went out on a weeknight without anyone to come home to i felt dangerous... and free.
so i've been on some dates (all firsts, no seconds. though there was a 1.5 with the sexican...) and i've gone out with my girls, and i've hosted guests and been to parties and learned that i really like being on my own.
which is why i resent my current state of "crush" so intensely. you see, i don't want to like a boy (or man or guy or whatever.) i want to devote myself to the metric shittonne of rhinestoning necessary to be ready for my two (2!) july performances. i want to have time for sewing and sunday afternoon gelato with friends. and yet... well that's a post for another time. preferably a time after he's taken me out for dinner!
and that dinner better be good, seeing as he's a native angeleno. i want to know all the secret spots so i can better experience my new love- and i do mean the city. for now.*
***who knows? stop pressuring me! i'm not ready coach! don't put me in the game!