while i obviously still screwed it up by choosing to be interested in someone who was either truly unavailable or just not willing to be more so (and i'll never really know which), at least in other respects he was a good man.
and while i know i should just let it go, i find myself still sadly hoping.
because of that, i will not be pursuing anything else- not that i was before anyways. he came as a complete surprise... but i think i need to devote more time to me, so that maybe when i meet someone in the future, i'll do even better.
in other news, in addition to the massive amounts of travel i had already planned on logging in this summer (two trips to SF, a trip to san diego, and an early autumn visit to AZ) i apparently will be flying cross country to attend a barbecue with strangers, because that's the kind of girl i am. you know, the kind who will fly over 2000 miles to distract herself... and to reclaim her life and her joy in being alone.
those strawberries were delicious though, while i had them.