someone needs to contact this guy and begin trade negotiations on my behalf.
there is a dangerous intersection i drive through every day on my way to work. in the center of a lane division is a sign, (probably the speed limit and that’s why i can’t remember what it says), but earlier this week someone put up his/her own sign, and it fills me with hope and curious wonder.
who put it there? and how? did you not see that this is a dangerous intersection? for whom was it intended? did the intended see?
i delight in it no matter.
remember when i confessed to you how i adore the fatness? well, things are going according to plan. maybe a little too well actually, as leonard nimoy has been increasing himself at an alarming rate. he’s been with me since september, which means that it has taken a mere four months for his weight to go up a whopping 140%. one hundred and forty is a lot of percents. and as much as i love the soft pink belly, that is seriously appalling. i hope to present you with the culpatory photographic evidence in the morning.
here’s the problem. how do i keep him from eating all the goddamned food? if it were just him, i could monitor it better, but julius needs access to food too! except nimoy eats it all. nothing stops him! he even eats the dog’s food if it isn’t finished in a timely manner. he’s become corpulent, lounging about all day like an ancient greek, just eating as much and as often as he wishes and then waiting for me to get home and rub his chubby body till it rumbles with pleasure. i am a slave to his insatiable appetites for food and sweet sweet human lovin'. woe is me.