February 08, 2007
_______ is beautiful

business matters: in addition to a miniature pony, i also desire a giant rabbit.



someone needs to contact this guy and begin trade negotiations on my behalf.

there is a dangerous intersection i drive through every day on my way to work. in the center of a lane division is a sign, (probably the speed limit and that’s why i can’t remember what it says), but earlier this week someone put up his/her own sign, and it fills me with hope and curious wonder.

dramatization


who put it there? and how? did you not see that this is a dangerous intersection? for whom was it intended? did the intended see?

i delight in it no matter.

now.

remember when i confessed to you how i adore the fatness? well, things are going according to plan. maybe a little too well actually, as leonard nimoy has been increasing himself at an alarming rate. he’s been with me since september, which means that it has taken a mere four months for his weight to go up a whopping 140%. one hundred and forty is a lot of percents. and as much as i love the soft pink belly, that is seriously appalling. i hope to present you with the culpatory photographic evidence in the morning.

here’s the problem. how do i keep him from eating all the goddamned food? if it were just him, i could monitor it better, but julius needs access to food too! except nimoy eats it all. nothing stops him! he even eats the dog’s food if it isn’t finished in a timely manner. he’s become corpulent, lounging about all day like an ancient greek, just eating as much and as often as he wishes and then waiting for me to get home and rub his chubby body till it rumbles with pleasure. i am a slave to his insatiable appetites for food and sweet sweet human lovin'. woe is me.



14 Comments:

Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

I also would like a giant rabbit.

Especially if it vibrates.

Blogger yournamehere said...

You should introduce your cat to that rabbit.

Blogger Moe said...

I, too, have been dreaming of having a gigantic bunny to be a partner in crime with my dog. Alas, Mr Moe is very allergic. Because that is the only thing stopping me.

I have no suggestions on the kitty gluttony. A tiny treadmill?

Anonymous kristine said...

So the Siberian Husky is banned in my apartment complex. Not one to give up easily.... I present ....

THE ALASKAN KLEE KAI! BAM! TAKE THAT MOFOS!

Blogger anonymouscoworker said...

I think you'll have to start instituting feeding times. Feed them once in the morning, and once in the evening. Only feed them about 3/4 of a cup each for each feeding. Maybe even 1/2 cup.

Anonymous Gwen said...

I have long wanted a giant rabbit of my own. Maybe we can have an expedition to Germany someday, and acquire them. Also gnomes.

Can you feed Julius in a separate room?

Blogger Sachi said...

You will have to feed them twice a day like I do my doggies. There's also a new cat food out there that is formulated to help slim down one cat while keeping the other one healthy too.

Blogger Sara said...

I can endorse the feeding times thing. It won't solve your problems completely, but it might slow down the rapid weight explosion.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Imagine if the giant rabbit would let you sleep with him! That would be so awesome! If he doesn't poop the bed.

I have no cat advice. Mine is all muscle-y because she goes outside and chases the squirrel.

Blogger fae said...

can food. it is the newer thing at cat only hospitals, research shows they cannot digest the carbs as well in dry food, in all the cats I have recommended it for it has worked. it doesnt hav e to be uber expensive either, 1 can food/day. also mealtimes are important. cats will graze. I will ask at work for any specific articles if you would like, but the vets i work with really advocate it. also it worked on my cats.

Blogger sappmama said...

Leonard Nimoy just wants to please you.

Blogger Tim said...

Put nametags on the bowls. That way when nimoy goes to eat julius' food he'll read the nametag and know the food isn't his.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I love that we live in a world where somebody would hang that sign.

Oh, and yes to fatness!

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

Kai made me do the wet food twice a day as well, and actually all three of my cats have gotten pretty svelt.

It takes a while to get used to and their initial complaining is pretty annoying, but I think it's worth it.

At least it doesn't hurt anymore when Gretzky crawls on my belly. ;)

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