first, i should tell you that i got a raise. that’s pretty much what enables all the recklessness below. that and me selling my ovaries on ebay. little kendras for everyone! wooooooooo!
i have developed an addiction to turkey bacon. it’s quite serious, and i’m a little worried for my safety. what will i do when i run out??? it could be anything.
the other day i went to buy spirit gum (for to apply my shiny new sequined pasties, which i made last week on my sick day) and i accidentally bought a wig. it kind of took me by surprise- one minute i was standing there in my regular hair, and the next i was handing over my creditcard. i think i was roofied. anyway, it’s totally sexy and i think i might start wearing it all the time. with my pasties. because they rule.
whilst we are discussing the pasties, you should know i have chosen a burlesque name and debut performance. here is where you come in: i need knitters. i need to knit a certain very important piece of my costume, which i of course can do, BUT… i need probably 20 of them. it’s a cheap, quick knit… i believe you’ll need two caron’s one pounds and size 15 24” circs. i will reimburse for yarn if it’s a concern… anyway, let me know if you’re interested. when i have a completed costume (which i will then be taking off) i will post pictures, and debut my persona here. you want to be around for that, knitting or no. do not mess with the burlesque broad. she will cut you. paper cut you!
someone help me.
anyway, besides the evolution-paced construction of my costume (we’re not even close to walking upright), and the continued dance classes i want to finish before i debut- you know, to insure the ass-shaking is executed properly- there’s also a little matter of completing my ginormous tattoo. i’m not going out there like a half finished coloring book. so part of my new year’s resolutions (Year of Me, wooooooo!) was to finish the damn thing. because burlesque is not as sexy when i am holding my hand over my side tightly, as if my routine is a duel wherein i have just been shot. go on. just go- it’s all over- they got me. and scene.
so i’ve been going pretty regularly for work on my ginormous tattoo, and it’s coming along rather nicely. sneak preview i went on saturday though, and jay thought maybe we should take a little break from it for a week. but i was already there. so what was i to do? jay is in the valley. the VALLEY. i was not just turning around and going home.
which is how i accidentally got a new tattoo. one minute i was standing there all innocent like, with only (counting) nine tattoos, and the next i had taken a giant leap towards tattooedladydom. i was probably roofied. at least it’s not of turkey bacon.