January 23, 2007
pain is sexy

my walking privileges have been revoked. i am hobbled. i feel as though i have been beaten. trampled. maybe even died and resurrected. that would explain the stiffness, anyway.

according to Lux LaCroix, burlesque dancer/instructor and all-around lovely lady, when performing, we are taking the long and winding road to boobville. were we to cross the delicate line between class, a la sally rand, and crass, a la jenna jameson, we would be zooming down the autobahn.

who knew the scenic route would be so painful? floor work is not your friend, people. my knees and the tops of my feet are all bruisey and hurty and generally displeased. they are lodging a formal complaint. my core muscles are achey and hot. i'm sure working on my tattoo the day before didn't help, but the crawling across the floor and the popping up and down and squats and splits and oh god make it stop. i’m having flashbacks. ptsd! my persona might have to be obsessive compulsive, just to give me reason to stay off the damn floor. she will perform from inside a giant clear plastic bubble. hamster von teese.

sexy.



26 Comments:

Blogger yournamehere said...

Right now, Richard Gere is masturbating to your blog.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I had a horrible day. Would you dance for me despite your pain?

Blogger FRITZ said...

Firstly, I love your hamster.
Secondly, I want you. No holds barr. I have a crush on you.
Thirdly, this burlesque-dancing...must one be in any kind of shape to take it, or can she be extremely out of shape and a smoker?

I have been looking at the pole dancing thing and the belly dancing thing, and this burlesque dancing seems to fit both bills while being incredibly unique. Be proud of yourself, I sure am.

Also: Your hamster entices me to tickle myself in a naughty way.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll be right over to massage it all away, baby.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Every masterpiece achieves fruition only through great personal sacrifice.

Soldier on, dear one. Soldier on.

(I don't know why that is my phrase this week).

We can't wait to see you in all your burlesque glory.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Burlesque hamsters? Is there nothing you won't think of?

Blogger jiggs said...

I think your burlesque personality should be the "sexy knitter".

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jiggs may be onto something! You could be covered in balloons and pop them with a knitting needle. And have crocheted pasties.

Anonymous col said...

*mouth agape*
does the picture of the hamster come in poster size?

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I cannot stop laughing. Even when one of the execs walking through the office asked if I had something I'd like to share with the class.

And I'm with Colsy. The stripping hamster needs to go on my wall.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How did you teach your hamster such complicated choreography? I can't even get my dog to stay off my bed at night. Amazing.

Blogger Uccellina said...

Pardon me, but may I borrow your hamster? Because I think I am in love.

Anonymous ariel said...

I, too, feel the pain. After all the physically demanding things I did Saturday and Sunday, I think I can safely contribute 90% of the after effects to Lux.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

When it happens to me, it's tragedy. When it happens to someone else, it's comedy. Thank you for lightening up my morning... not that I'm laughing at your pain or anything {{snicker}}

Anonymous laurie said...

OMG Kendra the hamster pic is HEELARIOUS.

Hey! You know you and Lindsay Lohan have the same injury!! Well, sort of. LaLohan was taking pole dancing classes for some "movie" role (ahem) and she injured herself too. It is like you are a famous starlet! Except without the rehab, crotch flashing and bad Herbie movie.

The hamster is too much. seriously.

Blogger Omnipotent Poobah said...

This is where someone steps in and says, "But it's a good hurt isn't it?"

No?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Between Lucha VaVoom and Burlesque Bingo, L.A. has to be the burlesque culute jamming capital of the world.

Anonymous Frank said...

I was about to say you looked fine last night, BUT then I realized I never saw you move from your chair. You ARE hobb led!

(Oh wait, you did get up)... OK nevermind...

It was great to meet you last night. HELP ME with my blog!

Blogger Nick said...

I like watching hamsters performing burlesque in a bubble ALMOST as much as I like sticking them in my backside.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

if I back off on the worcestershire sauce, will you come back to me?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm off worcestershire sauce for good i swear!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just feel like maybe kendra doesn't appreciate the condiments the way she should.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lets start gently with salt and pepper and slowly work ourway up.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and we didn't mean to scare you, which is why we are here to try to convince you not to be frightened.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe just salt OR pepper. nothing too drastic.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

salt and pepper is great on the nipples...er on your food.

i always get those two things confused!

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