January 02, 2007
ME!

there is much for me to share in regards to my trip back east. the sole disappointment of my adventure was that it provided no time for me to visit my luminous spinnerina, nor my intoxicating tits mcgee. it did however, afford ample time for me to “self-reflect,” which is to say “wallow in the many disappointments of 2006” and also maybe “curse the heavens above” but that’s only because they made me so damn beautiful.

2006 was a hard year for me. the year started with a bang and a neck brace, then slipped seamlessly into sexual harassment, financial insecurities, unemployment, sickness, and of course, a wounded heart. there were some incredibly and gloriously bright spots in '06 though. and of course i’m still poor in ’07, but i’m trying not to let it get the best of me.

in the spirit of not letting it get the best of me, i welcome you all to 2007: The Year of Me. you’re probably thinking that this seems odd and vaguely selfish, and you are right, but this is The Year of Me and you are my minions and so you will celebrate and revel and defer to me on this, as in all relevant matters.

The Year of Me is a long time coming. if you know me well, or maybe even if you don’t, you know that i have a slight difficulty saying no, and not just to cookies. you know that in spite of how i appear superficially (some people have insinuated that sometimes maybe i come off a little mean), i am not a fighter. i am honest— very honest, and this is where the “mean” comes in— when honesty is the best policy, but that isn’t always the case. sometimes things have to get done, and i happen to be non-confrontational and efficient, and so it’s just easier to do them myself than to fight about it. also, sometimes i actually don’t mind. but.

2007 will not be easy. this year, if i want to say no, i will say no. i might even shout it, and do a little crane kick. this year, when people fuck up my food at the farmer’s market, i will make them fix it even if it takes a fourth time. because i paid for it, and i am hungry, and dammit, your shitty attitude will not keep me from eating shwarma in The Year of Me!

The Year of Me will also involve me actually doing activities i enjoy, instead of just thinking about them. i would like to take a dance class or three. maybe tap, because i like noise and also my feathered pillbox hat would be darling. or maybe bellydance, or a burlesque class, so i can wear pasties and sequins and also sequined pasties. you know, more than i already do.

i’m also going to continue to knit. and sew. and maybe show a little more here of what I do, so that when the time comes (and lo! it is coming) you can help me launch my line of bags and fun handcrafted whoosiewhatsies and snorfblatts. collect them all!

the most important “resolution” for this Year of Me is this: no sex in ’07. how is this different from ’06 you ask? the reason. in ’06 i had some sex, and then i had less, and soon after that i had none— because i fell out of love. in ’07 there will be no sex because i am in love once again; i love how much more of myself i have become of late, and i want to see how much more i can be. i like my life. i love my friends. i don’t need any distractions, and since i have a history of falling into relationships and staying in them well past their expiration date, this year, the only hand in my pants will be my own. and that’s ok.

so.

2007 will be sex free, but chock full of knitting. and dating in LA stories. and crane kicks when those losers try to kiss me. i’m going to shake my ass a little, and glue sequins all over myself for fun. rhinestones, too. and maybe some brightly colored feathers. because in order to truly appreciate myself, the outside is going to have to match the inside completely.



28 Comments:

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Oh goody!

I would like golden shoes with little bells, a mis america-like banner, and a fez to help me properly worship at your altar.

yay! No sex for both of us ... except maybe ... you know ... together ... on the phone ... like that other time ...

ahem.

I madly love you after you do a post like this. Sorry the visit couldn't happen, but I think you'd be disappointed that I am not so much luminous, as puffy and tired-looking.

Brava to you! Bravo to 2007!

Blogger Glitzy said...

Chock full of knitting sounds like a great year. Happy New Year from a new reader.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's right! You give those schweaty schwarma peddlers what for.

I love you. I will be all about the year of you.

Blogger karla said...

You may want to consider outsourcing the "no"ing to me. I love to say no, often shouting or screaming it as I flip someone the bird. I'd be happy to issue a "no" for you whenever you find yourself unable to. Just one more service I offer.

Blogger yournamehere said...

You're going to wear pasties? Cool.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so mad crazy in love with you and want to roll around in vats of sequins and rhinestones with you, giggling like schoolgirls.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds like the Year of Kendra will be fabulous for all. Especially if there will be pictures of sequins and rhinestones and what not.

Speaking of what not, if you need help tarring and feathering yourself, I'm your girl.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said - and really, you are even ahead of the game by a few years (so efficient!). I notice this sort of thing usually hits around a girl's 30th birthday.

I want to see your crafty goodness (sounds dirty). And no, that is not a metaphor, I really want to see the crafts.

Blogger Tim said...

nice! I just high-fived my co-worked. Then crane kicked him when he tried to kiss me.

Blogger Spaceman Spiff said...

Go for the bedazzler, it's only $19.95 and comes with a special bonus gift, the mini-dazzler for those hard to reach places.

No sex for 07'?!?!?!?! No way a guy would ever make that resolution. . . . it might happen to work out that way, but never on purpose.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Sex free in '03!*










*(plus four)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

in '07 i wish to be more like you...





you rock.

Blogger LotusKnits said...

This post makes me love you just a teensy bit more than I already did (which if measured in decibels would blow your little eardrums to bits).

Here's to the Year of Kendra.


We'll celebrate with pasties and sequins and maybe a little hot candle wax.

Or you could save that for me.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Yay, year of YOU! I'm all about the no sex stuff. Sigh. But yes, you *do* get used to it. Besides, you got lotsa kitty porn to watch, should the mood strike you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't wait to see the purses!!

*twirls a dangly*

Blogger jiggs said...

I'm so pleased that the trip to vegas with jiggsblog made your highlight list!

Also, I had many sex free years and it's true. you end up loving yourself more. And also loving hardcore pornography.

Blogger jiggs said...

i forgot to add the following: rock on with your bad self.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will love you from afar and send you sequins in the mail.

Blogger Brookelina said...

This is awesome, because I've resolved to have MORE sex in 2007. Maybe we will balance each other out.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanna know what love is.
And I want me to show me.

Blogger Thérèse said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Thérèse said...

I am so excited about this! Do you know what this means? Do you KNOW what this MEANS?!? This means you're going to, effectively, date yourSELF and be with YOURself and be even more of the you that you already are. I'm proud of you for making this decision, Miss Kendra. It's not an easy decision to stick to, consciously, particularly when one is as fabulous as you are, but let me tell you, it is most certainly worth the end result. 2004 was that kind of year for me, and I didn't regret a second of it.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Apropos of nothing, you and Sara keep an eye out on those roadside distractions. Did you see this on the news?!?!?!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/01/03/highway.toddler.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Blogger Green and Gray said...

2007 Will be much better for me. Mom threw me out.

I'm in a better place now. I'm living with Ben's family.. at least until semester starts and I move into his dorm with him.

I'll be getting a cellphone soon (mom took mine back.. but not till after I deleted all the numbers, so no worries). I'll let you know when I've got it.. but feel free to email me with yours.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

sysm's comment just made me shoot soda out my nose. And Astroglide out my ass.

Blogger Sharon said...

Your awesome

Anonymous Ariel said...

Just say no!

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

"(some people have insinuated that sometimes maybe i come off a little mean)"

I don't think your honesty is ever mean. In fact, I've almost never heard you say an unkind word about anybody.

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