has anyone else noticed that sebastian bach is like a medical anomaly? his body is normal looking when he's the only one in the frame, but you stick him next to some other guy and his limbs are FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
i've really been enjoying metal month on vh1 and will be sad when metal goes away again for another fourteen years. supergroup
is pretty awesome to watch- they recorded a demo of a song that was actually pretty catchy (except for the lyrics, which i'm pretty sure they stole from me
in 1991- yes, i was eleven) and let sebastian spend an evening alone with it. just the song, sebastian and his girl mouth. and probably leather pants. either way, they were surprised when someone then told them it sounded like it was from 1982.
i know i personally find it shocking.
either way, for those of you who either have no vh1 or who did not have the foresight to watch such a show (and, please, don't tell me if this is the case. i don't want to have to judge you.), let me give you the character summation.
seems nice enough. vaguely british. Boy was joking that everyone on this show is washed up- that they don't play anymore and used to support his argument that the bonham drums for foreigner. mostly i wouldn't notice if he wasn't on the show. i'm waiting for him to change that though, when the nuge gets out of control and bonham jabs a drumstick in his eye. and since he's british, it will be done with aplomb.scott ian:
he's in the band anthrax
, and pretty much rocks my world.
[aside:] i have decided that henry rollins might be the most perfect man to walk the earth. he writes poetry and sings in a punk rock band and could beat the crap out of all y'all motherfuckers. but he wouldn't, because he is a sensitive band geek and i enjoy that.[/aside]
anyway, scott ian is so genuinely excited about meeting the nuge (i understand that "uncle ted" is a pioneer, but still... ick) that i just want to pinch his cheeks and squish his face. and when the band starts to choke on its own ego, who would have thought that this guy
would be the voice of reason? or that he'd be married to meatloaf's daughter?ted nugent:
seriously. this show has TED MOTHERFUCKING NUGENT. when not sermonizing about his own greatness and massive rockitude, he continually harasses "danushka," the blonde chippee they hired to cook for the band. i am rather shocked to admit this, but he is not the most annoying person on the show. i will let the bonham do away with him, whilst i busy myself making plans for the remaining two.sebastian bach:
what a tool. cut your hair, wash off your makeup and shut the hell up. also, put on some sunblock. i'm watching you become a malignant carcinoma over the course of one episode. did you know he wanted to name the band celebutard
? now pull your limbs in. people need to walk around here.evan seinfeld:
oh mr. seinfeld, how far the mighty have fallen. i can totally get behind biohazard, and oz
was a great show... but i'm really not sure how i feel about a person who claims to be a musician, but whose primary concern seems to be his porn business
. so far evan has tried to get danushka in on it, the PR lady, and the vast assortment of breasts and breast attachments he met at various clubs (of both the supposed-to-be-naked and not-supposed-to-be-naked-but-naked-anyway variety.) plus, he thinks he is the most talented one there and even when he appears to be listening humbly to someone else's ideas, you can read the asshole all over him. he knows it will be done his way, or he will walk off.
because he's a giant prick. except not really, because i've seen "reign of tera
." not much to be proud of there. (low blow!) (but i'm okay with that) (not really, i'm a good person i swear)
and guess what? the great and powerful oracle "previews" tells me that sure enough, evan walks off.
how is it possible that there is a bigger jerk out there than the nuge? HOW?!?!?!?
either way, this show rules. i haven't had this much fun with television since tawny kitaen.
[aside:]cc deville seems so nice! i want to have him over for pie. do you think he likes pie?[/aside]
oh surreal life, how i miss thee. which just proves my point: vh1 has the best programs this side of dead AND they rerun them in endless cycles so you never need to worry about missing anything.
like purgatory, but without unbaptized babies.