November 02, 2006
putting my degree to good use

(probably as a wedge for my shakey table leg.)

i have a college education. i know what you're thinking, but it's true, i swear. i have the debt to prove it. i got my bachelor's in psychology, with all of my elective courses in english (which was nearly enough to be a double major) and then, because i had passion and talent and most importantly, no desire to get a job, i got a master's degree in writing.


of which i do none.

which is sort of a problem, so i signed up for NaNoWriMo, as threatened. thus far, i have 200 words, of which the majority are fuck. excerpt:
"fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck. why the fuck did i sign up for this fuck?"
the problem is, i have no inspiration. i have no point. i have no plot. i have no interest in anything at the moment, other than finding someone to give me money for no reason other than that I NEED IT, and possibly inventing vegan cheese. because i also need cheese.

really, i've written some jibberjabber about disappointments and the pleasure palace that is other people's chewing gum. trust me on that one. why can't this be NaPoWriMo? i'm good at cranking out little poetic gems. i'm concise! i am the master of 20 lines or less. novels are too much exposition. all those useless words... like pronouns and conjunctions. crap! all crap!

that's why i appreciate vivid (as in strong or intense, not as in- and i mean "in"- jenna jameson) novels. though his more recent work has been sub par, reading tom robbins always struck me as reading an enormously long poem- the visual sense of his words was that totally overwhelming. his plotlines may have been convoluted, his characters more caricatures, but i liked it. there was an undeniable appreciation on his part of the language itself and the way in which one word can completely change the connotations and history and entire makeup of a phrase, sentence, or story.

karen hesse's out of the dust is another sort of novel i would be interested in trying... a novel made up entirely of poems. poems that create an intimate portrait of a difficult time in a family's life, and in a way that is better executed than a great number of more traditional (and well-received) novels. here, let's give it a try.
fuckfuckfuck fuck
why the fuck did i
sign up for this


yep. i like it.


Blogger Sarah Smile said...

Brilliant. I'll take four copies once it's done.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...


I just like saying it. It's very ... free-ing. Thank you for that insight.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I like this, I do. But I feel somewhat cheated. Like maybe, there should have been a "fuckityfuck" somewhere in line two.

But then, I'm a software tester.

What the fuckityfuck do I know.

Blogger tfg said...

Let me see if I can get you started: It was a dark and fucky night.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did NaNoWriMo in 2003. I killed off a grandmother (MY grandmother) to keep writing.

I suggest booking a massage or two. I was all crunchy by the end of the month from hunching over the keyboard.

Blogger jessica said...

Err...didn't mean to make that Anonymous. Now you know why I don't comment. I can't. Especially after a bottle of red.

Blogger yournamehere said...

It reads like "American Psycho" by Brett Easton Ellis.

Blogger Nick said...

I have faith in you.

Blogger jiggs said...

you should do a novel poem. that would be rad. and the fuck fuck fuck thing could be the little epigram that introduces it.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

i'm doing that nano blog thingy. i can blog for 30 days, right?

Blogger Autumn said...

there's totally vegan cheese out there! honest. see, now you can rest easier :)

Blogger amera hearts said...

i too have a degree. hard to believe as well. i also don't use it.

cellular biology! i even went to grad school....uh to drop out two quarters shy finishing. :(

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Try Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian" for long poetry.

Christopher Moore's "A Dirty Job" is hardly poetic, but it is a lot of fun.

Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

I'm in the same frigging boat! I'm not sure what the hell I'm going to write about every single day. All I got is booze, whorish behavior, illegal activities involving clowns, and my huge disgust for politicians.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I love it when you say fuck.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

As my screenwriting professor says: "The best stories are the ones that seem like they were already there, and you just found them."

Yeah. Soooo easy.

Blogger Stepherz said...

Fuckety Fuck Fucker. Makes me feel all naughty and bad saying the word.

Can you tell I grew up in southern baptist schools? They deprived me of the greatest word in the English language.


Blogger Ćœbermilf said...


Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I think you have a lot to say! So do I, and like you, most of it starts with the word "fuck". And sometimes "Mwah!"

Blogger Tim said...

Sounds good so far. You should just plagiarize the rest. It's much easier that way.

Blogger Isabel said...

Some good advice I once received was to let myself write utter shit. That way, if it was shit, I wasn't too worried. It frees you. You sound pretty free already tho, but maybe it will help a bit.

Post a Comment

<< Home

golden state