November 17, 2006
i have an icicle in my pants

also, a cough.

*cough cough*

i'm sick. don't those germs know i am VERY BUSY??? there is holidaygoodness to be made! and i, unlike some people, do not have a whole sweatshop to assist me. there are labor laws you know.

also, a meme, via nick at the sac.

5 Things You Don't Know About Me That Should Probably Remain That Way.

"Sure, it's a long name, but it's worth every penny."

1) i like to eat refried beans all by themselves, and animal crackers dipped in diet coke. also, cereal with apple juice. and sometimes, just ketchup. for no reason.

2) i have trichotillomania, but this is probably all i will ever say about that. *edited* i don't pull out my head hairs or my eyelashes or anything. i'm just very very thorough with my tweezers. very.

3) i have only been on two real dates in my life, and they were both awful.

4) when i was sixteen i stole a disposable plastic speculum from the doctor. for what, i do not know. it was there, i was there. i was young and curious and a semi-professional thief. so i took it.

5) i am considering purchasing an epi-pen and a slice of pizza.

send delicious soup and vegan cookies.



27 Comments:

Blogger yournamehere said...

The only non-awful dates I've ever been on have led to relationships that were in fact god awful.

Blogger Beeb said...

does this mean i'm not getting any holidaygoodness???

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's a "date"?

Blogger Brookelina said...

I have both animal crackers and diet coke in my classroom. I can't wait to dip!

The diet coke is for me, not the kids. Just want to clear that up.

Blogger Nick said...

I knew what trichtotillomania was without clicking on the link.

Blogger miss kendra said...

todd: i feel your pain. and it's very manly.

beeb: yours is so done already.

quirkalot: good question. that's what the internets are for.

brooke: i'm surprised you don't keep something a little more interesting in the classroom. like scotch and viggo poster.

nick: i'm proud of you. and i qualified my statement a little because i don't want to soudn all extra creepy.

also, to clarify further, i just pluck the hairs out. i do not, nor have i ever, eaten them.

now carry on.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

1) I love you.

2) I have a two clients with trichotillomania. I've seen your pictures. You control it very well. My clients who have it leave big bald spots in their eyebrows. It's bad.

3) Would that I could take you on a real date.

4) I heart the criminal-minded. I was a bit of an expert at getting the five-fingered discount myself, back in the day.

5) Mmm...pizza.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I'm getting a "Feel My Manly Pain" t-shirt printed.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

What is the opposite of trichotillomania? "bigfoot-ism"? Cause I got that.

I have trich too. Extreme suckitude. Like trying to blow donkeys for wooden nickels. You know, I totally meant to not lead with the er, quirky, on your blog the day I finally said hi. But here ya go. HI! Me too! My people!

Ah well. *waves* Hi fellow LA knitter who goes to some of the same clubs and wears a great mini top hat. I LURVE your bloggy goodness.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Knitty and I both have hirsutism.

I want to feel manly pain.

My only good dates have been with Dilf. The bad ones... well, you know when your cat doesn't want to be picked up and he kinda straight-arms the person to get him/her away? That's how I felt.

Or like the cat in Pepe le Pew.

Blogger Green and Gray said...

I have mild trichotillomania too. I wonder if it's genetic.

Hey, we've decided to push back Seattle an extra year and a half or so.. partially due to badgering from that source of life I love so dearly. And partially because she's right. I'm poor and inexperienced. Otherwise, life is good. We're moving across town next week. I'll send you the address when I know what it is.

-Bumble

Blogger Stepherz said...

I hope you get to feeling better soon.

You should demand better dates. The chocolate, flowers, wine kind of date. Romance isn't only for Julia Roberts and Kate Hudson movie characters (Blech-- I hate those romance movies)! I had all bad dates in my single days. I even had a bad date with my husband in the beginning. But he made it up to me. Ten years later and it's nothing but the chocolate, flowers, and wine dates for us. Well, when we do get to have that annual night out without our entourage of children :-)

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I seriously want to hurl my naked body against you until one of us passes out.

Blogger karla said...

I guess the icicle explains the wet spot around your crotch. I'm glad we cleared that up.

Blogger Monkey said...

Like Knitty Kitty and Übermilf, I have "bigfootism". I think it stems from jealousy over Monkey's luxurious fur.

I wasn't aware that the words "good" and "date" could be used together in a sentence. I feel Todd's many pain.

I hope you made good use of the speculum, like turning it into a festive ornament for the tree.

Signed,
Monkey's Human who loves you as much as Monkey does

Blogger Monkey said...

"many" = MANLY

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I should get Trichotillomania. It might be the only way I can keep the protective coat which covers me under control.

Blogger Thérèse said...

1) I also love refried beans. Especially when there's just a little bit of melted cheese on top, and it's just about almost too hot for me to put in my mouth without burning it. That's the perfect temperature.

2) I can't explain why I love peeling things as much as I do. But I love it. I love peeling. Everything. CDs that have yet to be open. Carrots. Scabs. Wafers, like Kit-Kats: Layer by layer do I eat them. I'm sure there's a name for it, but I don't know what that is.

3) My first date ever was with my cousin. I got dressed up for it and everything. My aunt and mother got a real kick out of it and I secretly developed a crush on him that lasted weeks.

4) A bookmark. I stole a $3 bookmark when I was 9.

5) This list made me love you just a little more.

Blogger MadMeer said...

Orange juice and popcorn are also very good together. Macaroni & cheese, corn and orange juice also make a dynamite yellow dinner.

Blogger jiggs said...

I'm not a food mixer. Unless it's rice and beans. they must be mixed. and then later cause severe gas.

I have been on good dates and bad dates. Relaxing is my greatest issue. Also, sometimes I overestimate the potential person's intelligence and it causes awkward boredom.

That's high commitment for pizza.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would also like to have delicious soup. Please.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I have a slight case of trichtotillomania, and even more severe case of formication. Diet pepsi and milk (blame laverne and shirley), and I once stole a body bag from Ceders-Sinai (think I still have it around here, somewhere.)

See, you're not so odd.

Blogger miss kendra said...

tits: hehe. i said tits. i love you too! the things i stole back in the day would shock and awe. as for the trichotillomania... well, i keep it under control best i can.

yournamehere: people would be touching you all the damn time. you should rethink this project.

knittykitty: yeah, i have that too. that's part of why i settled on trich as my disorder of choice.

will pillage: lead with quirk. quirk is good. nice to meet you, donkeys aside.

ubie: yes, i'm familiar with the desperate cat feeling. i hope to avoid it in the future, but i live in LA so i doubt that's possible.

green and gray: excellent.

stepherz: i should demand lots of things. lets see how far i get.

spinnerina: it's a date. wooooooo! a good date!

karla: i knew you would focus on that. that's actually pee.

monkey: speculum ornaments???? this is brilliant! marry me.

sassy: it's helpful in its own little way. that, and my home waxing machine.

therese: BEANS! i also love peeling. i'm a picker. i can't help it. when i was younger i used to try to keep it under control by putting tape all over my floor and staying busy peeling it off. i'm so weird.

madmeer: i love color themed dinners. LOVE.

jiggs: i know, the pizza thing is a little out of control.

tel: for reals! i'm thinking something with barley. i like barley.

monkeygurrl: i thought for a second you wrote fornication, and i was all, "what???? that's not a problem."

as for teh body bag, YES. must show me.

Blogger ladylinoleum said...

Frijoles are good solo...

Blogger Monkey said...

Jiggs' phrase "awkward boredom" is a thing to behold. I've experienced that phenomenon more than I care to recall.

Blogger Thérèse said...

SHUT UP! I totally did the tape thing too.

Only, it had to be Scotch Tape, specifically, because of the delightfully clean way it came off. And for some reason I really liked sticking it on my fingers, like band-aids. Wrapping and winding, winding, winding until my finger looked like a beehive or the circulation was cut off and the tip of my finger started turning purple, and then peeling it all off super quickly before my finger fell off. Well. All off, except for that last little bit of tape, which would serve as an achor. Peeling, winding, peeling, winding.

I am strange. Very, very. But I somehow get the impression that you know what I mean by all this.

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