November 08, 2006
getting down to the good stuff

i'm knee deep in holiday goodness, and i have come to the conclusion that while some of you did in fact send me valuable information pertaining to your color preferences etcetera, i have limited supplies, and so will be making you things that may have nothing to do with that information, but that i think are nice, or maybe crap, and you then will be appreciating them like you appreciate your basic american freedoms, except moreso, and without having to send people to iraq.

also, i have no idea how i'm going to ship the goodness, as i have no money, so it might be in your best interest to go hang out on your roof(s) and watch for carrier pigeons. they'll be wearing green velvet bellman hats. that's how you'll they're mine.

i think that julius and nimoy have reached a point of simultaneous health, which is shocking and yet fills me with relief. it's probably also indicative of the fact that something all together new and horrifying should be happening any minute now.

along those lines, is it possible to eat so much fruit that it causes your pee to smell like juice?

just wondering.


Blogger yournamehere said...

Just go to LAX and wait for a flight to Louisville. Have one of the passengers deliver my holiday goodness to me.

I had some fruit that smelled like pee. I threw it out.

Blogger Sysm said...

I bet the guy who bid on your neck brace would be willing to make you a generous offer on your Froo-tee-pee.

Blogger Übermilf said...

You guys are sick bastards. Well, Sysm is anyway.

I will cherish whatever I get because you made it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with Übie about the gift.

Anything you send me, I will nestle in my bosom lovingly.

Blogger jiggs said...

i have heard that eating fruit can make all a person's fluids smell pleasant. in addition, my favorite pee smell is asparagus pee smell.

as for getting me my gift, perhaps I can figure out an easy way for it to end up in the hands of my sister who lives in the OC.

Blogger me said...

if your pee smells like fruit juice i would like to know what fruit your consuming so i can feed it to the earl of pee and napoleon, peealot.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't even bother making me anything because the U.S. Postal Service does not send things from LA to Fort Lauderdale.

Maybe I could send you some pre-stamped postage... for the others.

Blogger Autumn said...

my pee always smells super weird after soy lattes, is it just me?

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

You smell like cookies, your pee smells like fruit.

How can one human be so delicious? It's just not fair.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I'm partial to hand delivery myself, but if that can't be arranged, I can send a self addressed stamped envelope. It will remind me of when I used to write to radio shows as a kids, asking for a tape.
I did that a lot.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I've heard about pineapple making certain body fluids taste sweet, so . . . why the heck not?! I'd take honeydew melon-scented pee.

Anonymous Google Video said...

Alas, I have been promised to another. It is not a love match. She's a YouTube video of women in lingerie. She is not my first choice and has been bandied about the Internet many, many times. Alas, my parents believe it is the right match for me and will not listen to reason.

If only the world was fair.

Ta for your comment

Blogger Brookelina said...

You can send me whatever you made and I will love it. In fact, if money is too tight, you can just send me a picture of what you made. I'll love that too.

Except for pee. Don't send me that. I don't care what it smells like.

Blogger Monkey said...

I would like my package delivered by railroad hobo please.

Pee turns pink if you eat too many beets. That is all I know.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Hmm. I'm going to go with yes.

Because if you consume so much fruit and therefore fruit juice that your body has no time to extract the nutrients and whatnots, it becomes a source of water, and therefore the juice just ruuuuuuuuuns through.

That is my uninformed opinion.

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