October 23, 2006
things that have happened in the last week*

* that may or may not be nudging me ever closer to the line between "delightfully quirky" and "crazy bitch."

ONE: used amazon gift certificate to purchase sewing supplies (including a rotary cutter and heavyweight carpet thread) as well as a book on cadavers. am reasonably sure this combination has landed me on at least one fbi watch list, and am quite positive this combination renders me even more irresistible in the eyes of terrified white men between the ages of 18-44 everywhere. because statistically speaking, were i a serial killer, that would be the general profile of my victim. so hello. would you like to come in for a drink?

TWO: was vomited on by leonard nimoy, and said vomit was not really vomit per se, but more like pink foam and a pile of live, squiggling worms. overcame feelings of total gross out in order to tend to poor sick kitty. used oral syringe to give nimoy a mixture of wetfood and water overnight, as he was too weak to come out from under the coffee table. nimoy has now been treated (this is, unfortunately, pretty normal for a new cat) and with any luck will be fine. i however, am scarred for life.

THREE: endured the awkwardness of a would-have-been-three-year anniversary, that might have been less so if we didn't still have to live together, and if he weren't chatting up sluts on the internet.

FOUR: learned through the devil's magic that is science that i am indeed physiologically abnormal, and not just psychologically so. as such, have been scheduled for a (probably costly) "procedure." this is never good. considered canceling amazon order and using gift certificate for DIY procedure kit. decided against, because really, that book could be more useful than i initially thought.



24 Comments:

Blogger yournamehere said...

What a crappy week. I'm sorry you had to endure all of that.

I'll come up for a drink. I'm a gambler; comes from living in Vegas.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait, what happened with Boy? did i miss that post? Link please?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Finally going to "appendage" removed?

Blogger Stepherz said...

So sorry about your week. Vomit, x's, procedures, Oh My!

The gift certificate sounds fun though! Hope it gets better soon! For you and poor Nimoy!

Blogger Calzone said...

Maybe you need a pedicure!!!!!

Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

Who wants to be normal? Normal is boring. Normal is cooking roast beef in a 50's style dress, pearls, and an updo all while drinking white wine.

You know what's abnormal? Cooking roast beef while wearing a 50's style dress, pearls, and an updo...but have a hot fireman tied up in your closet and have whips and chains hidden in a secret hole in the wall behind the bookcase.

If that is abnormal, then count me in.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Oh, Kendra.

I would like to gather you to my bosom and make it all just go away.

Anonymous Annika said...

Ahh, yes. I am bookmarking this post in case I am ever come over with the notion that I'd enjoy having a cat.

Also! When I unearth my sewing machine, will you come over? I require moral support, encouragement, and advice. The last time I successfully sewed in a straight line (nevermind anything more complex) was 13 years ago.

Anonymous Gwen said...

I promise to give you cookies on Thursday if it will help any.

Also, for a brief moment I forgot that Leonard Nimoy was your cat's name, and I pictured Mr. Spock vomiting up live worms onto you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think your minor description of Nemoy's sick has scarred ME for life. Now I'm going to freak out when ever Kady starts the kitty hurling sound. *shudder*

Sorry about the three-year non-anniversary. Actually, I'm really sorry he's chatting up sluts. He's a dick.

Blogger jiggs said...

you could always do your procedure with your rotary cutter and carpet thread for your procedure.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

oh miss kendra, in 20 days come to the valley (I know, scary) and we will go drinking.
And maybe the thought that some cute guy working at amazon's massive warehouse just had a much more interesting day then usual!

Blogger Moe said...

You win. That is the toughest week I've heard of in a long time.

*shudder* worms. One of my worst fears. Yuck yuck yuck.

God that sucks about the cohabitation/anniversary (I have made some assumptions about your partnership status - I gathered as much from your lack of reference to he who will not be named in your posts).

I bought the Denyse Schmidt quilt book. Can I come over? Between your book and mine...just sayin'

Blogger Ćœbermilf said...

Look on the bright side... an internet slut may vomit worms on Boy some day.

Blogger Nick said...

I vote for Tits' bosom thing.

Blogger Monkey said...

Oh my! Your description of Leonard Nimoy's vomit has traumatized me! You poor dear!

I cannot fathom a worse week than this. Although the book on cadavers sounds promising... it's always fun to be a FBI list.

Blogger Libby said...

OK, the vomit thing is just awful, honey.

And I hope they're leaving your girly bits alone, because I've had THAT done, and that sucks ass.

Wish I could bring you Jack and a big hammer to pound Boy into the ground like a railroad spike.

Because that, seriously, would be truly a satisfying piece of closure.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I'm sorry for the squiggley vomit and I am sorry for the awkward evening.

I can't quite decide which is worse.

I hope you and Mr. Nimoy are feeling better. :(

*kisses*

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I suck at saying stuff to cheer people up.

I pour a good tequila shot. And I care, very much.

Blogger Tim said...

Is the book in 1 STIFF: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers?

My mom got me that for my birthday. Such a sweet gift.

Blogger Brookelina said...

LIVE WORMS!!!! AACK!!!

Also, is it ok that you chat up sluts on the internet too (meaning me)? I don't want to cause any problems.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, too, thought for one brief shining moment that the *acutal* Leonard Nimoy, and not his kitty namesake, had vomited on you. I couldn't figure out whether or not to be excited and impressed or just grossed out. Once you got to the wiggling part, though, I definitely settled on grossed out.

I'm sorry for the awkwardness, but awfully glad for the gift certificate. Always remember you have a second home up here in Northern California pining for your return.

Blogger sleepydog said...

In the interest of "fair's fair" I am volunteering my services as a man slut in case you need a man slut to chat with on the internet.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Have lived through cat worms (in my cat, not in me). Not fun.

Want me to do your procedure? I am fairly adept & I learn fast.

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