ONE: used amazon gift certificate to purchase sewing supplies (including a rotary cutter and heavyweight carpet thread) as well as a book on cadavers. am reasonably sure this combination has landed me on at least one fbi watch list, and am quite positive this combination renders me even more irresistible in the eyes of terrified white men between the ages of 18-44 everywhere. because statistically speaking, were i a serial killer, that would be the general profile of my victim. so hello. would you like to come in for a drink?
TWO: was vomited on by leonard nimoy, and said vomit was not really vomit per se, but more like pink foam and a pile of live, squiggling worms. overcame feelings of total gross out in order to tend to poor sick kitty. used oral syringe to give nimoy a mixture of wetfood and water overnight, as he was too weak to come out from under the coffee table. nimoy has now been treated (this is, unfortunately, pretty normal for a new cat) and with any luck will be fine. i however, am scarred for life.
THREE: endured the awkwardness of a would-have-been-three-year anniversary, that might have been less so if we didn't still have to live together, and if he weren't chatting up sluts on the internet.
FOUR: learned through the devil's magic that is science that i am indeed physiologically abnormal, and not just psychologically so. as such, have been scheduled for a (probably costly) "procedure." this is never good. considered canceling amazon order and using gift certificate for DIY procedure kit. decided against, because really, that book could be more useful than i initially thought.