September 18, 2006
dress up!

remember me in vegas? i have a twin.

that's unrelated to anything else, i just thought it was funny. so.

this past weekend i went shopping. i needed hooker boots to wear out to the club next weekend. (because for my birthday, i want to be six foot three and intimidating.) anyway, you know how babies come from the stork and cheese comes from the moon and wars in the middle east come from trickery and lies? well, hooker boots come from hollywood boulevard, so there i went, with uccellina and monkeygurrl.

we went into a bunch of stores, perusing the g-strings and vinyl hotpants. there was one store that had a whole section devoted to garments made entirely of crystals and chain, and i'm pretty sure that were we rich girls, it could have turned ugly.

now, as a general rule, i don't like to be spoken to by people i don't know. this can make shopping unpleasant when there are sales predators on the loose, but fortunately, we wandered about relatively unscathed. in one store we were rescued by the owners having to corral their eight (possibly nine) year old child, as he ran around in circles amidst the undies and whips and things. i don't know why they were worried- that seems like a totally appropriate place for him to be.

we looked at some "sexy" halloween costumes, and though i had originally thought i might make my costume, i don't think i will have time. we threw around some ideas, like the classics (nurse/cop/schoolgirl), the trends (pirate), the pretty but generally indicative of a certain brand of craziness (fairy), and my personal favorite, the lying or honest whore.

i'm undecided. of course i want to be seen as attractive, but i have little desire to parade my ladybits around like waiter with a hors d'oeuvres tray. if i had a partner you know, we could do a theme. jeannie and major nelson! ground control and major tom! if i had a red headed friend, we could be ginger and maryanne. if she were blonde, dorothy shaw and lorelei lee! or should i go as something frightening? a zombie? a socialite? a president of the united states? or i could go as the scariest mannequin on earth:

any and all suggestions will be considered. please keep in mind that i am poor and also not an idiot. thank you.


Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I once saw a couple with a plug & outlet costume.

I think you, me, Tits, Uber and Brooke should be a power strip for Jiggs, Nick, and Jamwall to plug into.

Blogger jiggs said...

zombies! you should dress as a zombie! because all you need is make up for that so it's cheap! and also zombies are cool!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

niiiice. You should come to vegas more often.. *hinthint*

or if nothing else, you should go read the message I sent you on myspace.

- Bumble

Blogger othur-me said...

Is it wrong for me to be attracted to the Crazy Mannequin?

Blogger Tits McGee said...


I think I had something to say but all other thoughts were wiped from my head when I read Spinner's comment.

Yes, please.

Blogger Nick said...

I'm down with that, from a strictly costume-inal standpoint.

That's not a word, but sometimes you gotta make up your own damn words.

How hard would it be to go as a knitting needle or some other crafting utensil?

Blogger Moe said...

I suck at coming up with halloween costumes - I think of something good and then promptly forget (my mind is a colander).

Laughing at the hooker boots quest - in boots, I reach a very intimidating 5'4". How I long to be statuesque.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I'll be a power strip! I love that! But don't we need more boys to make a complete set?

I get Viggo.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Wait, this isn't about me, it's about Miss K. I think you should go as a pirate wench. Then you can wear your boots.

Anonymous Meg said...

That mannequin is scary!

I'll have you know that I couldn't spell mannequin myself so I had to scroll up and refer to how you spelled it.

Anyway, I think you should he Harleyquinn from Batman. You'd look super hot!

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

My sister has the same exact outfit as that mannequin, I kid you not.

Different hair, though.

So, ostesibly, you could be going as my sister. Which would be fine.

Blogger Libby said...

I totally think you could pull off the scariest mannequin in the world - all you need is something with which to cover your exposed skin to make you look plasticy.

And now I am out of ideas. But I am going as a frazzled housewife. Because I am lazy.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I copy/pasted mannequin from meg's comment...because I can't spell it either.

This being said, that Jesus that wasn't the mannequin that Andrew McCarthy's love brought to life back in 1987. Because think of how different the world might be today.

Hey, maybe you should go as Andrew McCarthy? Can you do a good preppy confused rich kid?

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

that Jesus = thank Jesus

Apparently, I can't spell much of anything.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

DUDE. You could totally be the Purple Sprite - She has YOUR boots!!!

Actually, those fairy costumes are a LOT cuter than the ones we saw in the stores. And more reasonably priced. :) Thanks for the link!

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Oh, and while that {{paste}}mannequin IS scary, I think the bride-to-be and her entourage of pink-tanked maids were even scarier.

Blogger LotusKnits said...

i have a birthday that same weekend! oh and you could always get a white tshirt, write "suspicion" on it and sneak around.

Blogger othur-me said...

That mannequin could have gone on to be Samantha.

Blogger yournamehere said...

One Halloween when I was actually dating someone, we went to a party as a "theme": She was a pumpkin, and I was Peter, Pumpkin Eater.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

Again I say Harumph!

I say you go as a repressed 50's housewife. Nothing is scarier than that and you already have the awesome aprons.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I was thinking more girls than guys on the power strip, because there's usually one or two outlets without a plug in them. Then we could swap off.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Ye should be a pirate, lassy. Yer a buxom wench, ye are.


Blogger Thérèse said...

You know, that mannequin isn't all that bad. It's really mostly the mouth that scares me.

And the hair.

And the glasses.

And the earrings.

So yeah, mostly it's just all that, really, that scares me.


Blogger Übermilf said...

Do you have a fez? You could get a pair of cymbals and go as one of those wind-up monkeys.

Or a crazy lunch lady. Get a hairnet.

Or, Madge from the Palmolive commercials.

Anonymous Pink Sara said...

You should get the bacon pasties back and wear those. Happy birthday!

Blogger Green and Gray said...

HEEEEEY. Your little sister now has a blogspot. <3

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

Definitely the mannequin

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