July 24, 2006
too bad, so sad *UPDATED*

we interrupt your regularly scheduled reading to bring you sad news. yesterday, at approximately 10 o’clock pm, two members of the * golden state * family perished. it was quite unexpected, but already they have made a name for themselves in local mythology, taking their rightful place among the gods. some might say their end was a result of the heat, some just believe that they lost their will to live. i’ve heard it said that they rode off into a golden sunset, never to be seen again. either way, they’re gone.

they were instrumental in the efforts i made to love myself, tirelessly working from the day we met to make me feel beautiful. they were a shining beacon in the night, a secret pride. were it not for their obvious inability to remain, i would have loved them until the day i died.

we had some good times together, the three of us. in fact, i thought we’d get to see forever, but forever’s gone away. at least i’ll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain. it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

goodbye, sweet nipple rings. goodbye. had you ever healed completely (even once, at any point in these many years) and not given me reason to believe my breasts might abscess and rot off, we would be buried together, to spend an eternity as titanium coated steel and skeletal remains anywhere but in a jewish cemetery.

i invite you to use this opportunity to share your fondest memories of the departed with the many others who are so deeply grieving.


*UPDATE* well, it was just too much. i put the little fuckers back in. i wasn't ready! they were too young to die!

i'm thinking maybe better quality jewelry will end the irritation. i've had decent luck with titanium, but most titanium is just a coating. once the coating is gone, so is the relief. next phase: gold. white, not yellow.

except $221 for one golden nipple ring? that's highway robbery! stick em up!


and to appease the masses, here is a picture of not my boobs(NSFW) that i snagged from the interweb.

note: my boobs are bigger, my piercings horizontal. also i try not to have my girls be on the first page of results on google.



31 Comments:

Blogger Libby said...

Wait - you had nipple rings? Dang.

Blogger Tim said...

so sad... the sadest part is you didn't even post a picture of them for us all to remember them by.

Blogger Inky said...

Adieu sweet nipple rings. I fondly remember mine, 10 years I tried and to no avail, they never healed. And I was clever/stupid enough to add a third vertical piercing to the left one just in order to prolong the lack of healing.

I said goodbye to my cheek piercings this past February. I still miss them, but their friends, the septum, labret, tongue, 5/8" ears and labia all remind me daily of my love for all things holey.

Blogger briana said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please lt me know if I can do anything or bring anything over... like a bottle of peroxide.

Blogger fatwonkkid said...

did you flush them down the toilet....

Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

Whoa...wait...what?

Nipple rings? And I never got explicit pictures?

Blogger Sunflowerfairy said...

BWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

And yet I'm really, really creeped out right now.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Oh, what I wouldn't give for some fond memories of the dearly departed.

Blogger jiggs said...

tits took the words right out of my mouth.

sweet nipple rings, though we never met, I bid thee a fond adieu

Blogger yournamehere said...

Never met them, but thought of them often.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Is a nipple ring, once deprived of the nipple, still a nipple ring? Or is it just a ring? And why does that make me so, so sad?

You should totally sell them to Japanese perverts.

And Jiggs gets "Phrase of the day" for "tits took the words right out of my mouth." I read that sentence seven times, trying to figure out why it was giving me a little Wombat stiffy.

Blogger Tel said...

Why didn't you post pictures? Even a cartoon picture would've sufficed.

Blogger miss kendra said...

ARGH, i lied.

i took them out and put them back in.

i just love them so much.

it's not that they haven't healed, per se, but that they are in a constant state of irritation. like todd.

maybe if i had better jewelry? do they make white gold nipple rings? where can i find some?

Blogger Uccellina said...

Now that the nipple rings are back in, you must take a photo and post it for all the internets to see. Otherwise, I decry you as a tease.

Blogger miss kendra said...

i might be coerced into sharing pictures with those of you whom i know.

Blogger jiggs said...

oh goodness. I am one of the many that very much want to see pictures.

Though, I'm going to go against popular opinion and suggest that you not share pictures. Mystery is a good thing.

More reasons not to:

If you share pictures with some people, but not with others, those that don't get shared with will feel left out.

If word gets out that you are willing to share pics, annoying desperate perverts with mullets that you don't want to share with might start bugging you to see the pictures.

Blogger FRITZ said...

Like you, I had two. Then, one was removed.

The other one I've kept because goddammit, I spent a lot of freakin' money on this specialty design and I'm not giving it up for nothin'. Uh uh. It's there. FOREVER.

What is it with our piercings? My nose, my tit, NOT my clit...it's weird, yeah?

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Put up a PayPal button, Kendra. We can all contribute to buy you some quality nipple rings.

But I think contributors should get pictures, no?

Hooray for stiffys!

Blogger sleepydog said...

Wait, you have nipple rings ?

I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I already did. (nd by "love" I mean "Want to see your boobs"

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Ending any relationship, even a flesh-titanium one, is like tipping a vending machine. You have to give it a few back & forth rocks before it topples for good.

Blogger Moe said...

I had my belly button pierced once (I know. SHUT UP. It was way before everyone and Britney Spears had one.) My body rejected it - so infected and irritated. Finally, to avoid a grotesque knob of scar tissue, I removed it and learned my lesson the hard way as per usual. No more piercings.

I have to respect your pain tolerance - I get a little woozy at the thought.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

I'm glad you put them back. They're whimsical little devils, playfully tilting up at a jaunty angle. (No, Kids, I didn't see them. Miss K. described them to me a few weeks ago)
I will gladly donate to the "Kendra's Gold-Laden Tits" fund.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I can't believe I didn't notice the nipple rings before. I really need to get my eyes checked.

Blogger Stepherz said...

My tongue (now gone) and belly botton are as brave as I ever got. The nipples are sexy, but OUCH! You are ALL woman, Chica!

Blogger Libby said...

Now I'm inspired to get another piercing along with my barrage of tattoos in Vegas. I'm thinking nipples. Or lots more ear piercings.

Blogger Rrramone said...

Such a touching tribute. ::sniff::

I will pray for a long life for them.

Blogger yournamehere said...

I feel like I know you through your blog. How about showing me the puppies?

toddvegas@cox.net

Blogger Frog said...

Being a frog, I have no piercings.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

Haha you wimped out. Nice entry

Blogger xt said...

Oh, i'm so glad you put them back in.

Lots of people are severely allergic to gold, so be careful. Do you have a local favorite piercing parlor? They can give good advice about how to reduce the irritation.

Take good care of those boobies. There is a lack of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a shame to ruin yours.

Blogger karla said...

This is such a sad story. After hearing so much about your nipple rings from so many sailors, bikers, tavern-dwelling rednecks, high school football players and dirty old men, I was hoping I'd get the chance to see them myself some day--this time in person, instead of in the grainy home videos posted all over the web. Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

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