July 05, 2006
resolution

i don't know what's wrong with me lately, other than the gaping hole where my soul used to be, but i was just reading my archives and i have to say, where has the funny gone?

seriously, i was pretty amusing for a while, like pretty much up until the car accident, and then intermittently afterwards up until about two months ago. but why???

after extensive research (google's "i feel lucky"), i believe i am moving very slowly through the stages of grief following the untimely death of naushad ali. which is totally understandable, right? i mean, he was only 86 and a half. we barely had any time together before it was too late.

so, in the light of knowledge, i think it is safe to say that i am resolving to expedite the grieving process in the interest of retaining my friends and the attention of my lovely internet stalkers. either that or i'll kill myself*, and live for eternity in a really comfortable sari that not only doesn't bind at the waist but also allows me to dance forever as the bright and shining star of my very own highly ornate bollywood musical.

like this, but without nicole kidman.




*joke. please do not email me me in a tizzy.



30 Comments:

Blogger FRITZ said...

i knew this chick in the 8th grade who got shlepped off to India to marry some forty year old dude she was betrothed to, and i thought it was all gross and stuff, but now i wonder if he's dead and she got all his money?

also: you should so knit with that recycled sari silk stuff, and make yourself a bellydancing hot mama bollywood veil or something, and put on that music and stuff and dance with your dog.

you haven't lost the funny. it's just funny in a different way, now.
kinda like my breath in the morning.
no, now, i'm joking. nothing is THAT funny.

Blogger jiggs said...

naushad ali is dead!?!?!?

oh no!!! My life is ruined!!!

Where's my kayak!?!?!

Blogger jiggs said...

you're still funny, dude.

Now I'm commensing with my tizzy.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

your soul and full blazing humor are there, just resting.

meanwhile, i am learning to do situps to keep my labia from getting fat.

suicide is always an option, and quite funny, actually.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I think your breasteses would look way hot in a sari.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

you lie! the car accident was marked with hillarity. do you not remember kermie? also? i highly suggest the fake suicide ala harold and maude. that kid really knew how to have a good time.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

It's worth the wait for the funny to return

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

"I'm sari. So sari.." tee hee.

I'm sure if Mr. Ali were with us today, he'd want you to move past your grief and dance like the star you are.

Blogger Libby said...

How the hell do saris work anyway? Isn't it just one big tablecloth you wrap around yourself?

Anyway. I'm sorry for your loss - please accept my condolences in the form of imaginary cookies. :)

Blogger me said...

did you know that crazy slowly seeps up on you and steals your funny, but only from other people?

not that you're crazy but...

good book? "the best awful" by carrie fisher... althogh she's kinda hard to get into cuz of all of her damn adjectives and mush... but the story line is really good... plus she does drugs and has a mental breakdown. so yea.. read it.

also? my last wordver said 'fycxt'... and i woulda said i was your saviour but like paul's comment about being bigger than jesus, as soon as it came out it was all down hill from there.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Don't go changing, to try and please me. You never let me down before. Don't imagine you're too familiar, and I don't see you anymore. I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble. We never could have come this far. I took the good times, I'll take the bad times. I'll take you just the way you are.

Blogger Calzone said...

You didnt used to be funny. Except for the fact you fell down all the time. Fuck that used to crack me up.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Calzone?! Holy fucking shit! Is it really you?!

Blogger Nick said...

I was scrolling down to the bottom to comment here, without actually reading any of the other comment, cause really, they're none of my business, and I swear to god I saw the word labia. Maybe I just hope I saw the word labia. If that's the case then I am loath to go back and check because I'll be severly disappointed if it's not there.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Ooooh, I want to dance forever as teh bright adn shining star of your very own ornate bollywood musical too.

Can I be the sitar player?

Blogger Thérèse said...

And hey, maybe while we're at it, we can get someone to teach me how to spell "and" and "the."

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Just think how much happier the world would be if we all had our own bollywood movie...

Blogger Übermilf said...

I like saris.

And bollywood musicals.

And having tizzies.

Blogger xt said...

Whether you're feeling the funny or not, we all still love you. Kisses.

Blogger ginonymous said...

maybe we should all just get together and make a bollywood extravaganza? i'm not much for dancing myself, but i can sew and have some seriously loud fabric in my stash waiting to be used...

Blogger Zombie Lou said...

brrraaaaiiinnnssss

Blogger Nick said...

We're bunnies!

Blogger slappy said...

I think you should just skip to the last stage which of course is dancing in an elaborate production number featuring 300 of your closest friends.

Blogger Stepherz said...

Ohhhh, come on! You don't want Nicole around?

Blogger jiggs said...

I have a post on my blog that you might like, my dear.

Blogger Ellen Bloom said...

Bollywood rocks! So does "OZ". I checked....we don't have Season 6 available yet....sorry. When we do, I'll save you a DVD!

Ellen B.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Nicole has never been in Bollywood. I *love* Bollywood, not so much the Kidman. And why has no one called Jiggs on his (mis)spelling of "commensing"?! I thought he was supposed to be a friggin brainiac!! Feh.

Anonymous Meg said...

Post already. Don't make me get on a plane and tie you to your computer.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Hope all is well.

word verification: ilvbysx

Blogger Libby said...

Come back. Please?

God, I'm so cliche, I piss myself off. Great.

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