June 06, 2006
is it too early to hit the crack pipe?

i just got fired.

i've never been fired before. it feels jiggly in my stomach, like bad meat.

he told me that he didn't think he could tolerate my attitude any longer and i told him that my attitude was based on the fact that his comments and computer full of p0rn made me uncomfortable. he denied any knowledge, and then he let me go.

also the hospital has sent all of my past due bills from the car accident to collections, so i am beginning to receive the phone calls and the scary things in the mail with the large numbers and high percentage rates.

all in all, i think i need a drink.

and a nap. i haven't been sleeping for fear that i would have get up and go to work in the morning.

seriously, after 25 years of constant turmoil, can i please catch a break? is there nothing i can do right? i'm very close to packing up my stupid car that i bought and don't own with all of my crap and my cat and driving back to massachusetts where i can crawl into bed and cry.

but that won't work either, because my parents are very practical people and they will want me to get up and go look for a job but i'm tired of looking for jobs it 's all i've done for a whole fucking year now and i can't find one that sounds like it won't make me miserable and i'm so tired of nothing being anything like what i want or need or deserve and maybe i should check myself into a hospital so finally i can just sleep but i don't have any insurance so that's not going to happen either.

so yes. drink.


Anonymous Cj said...

I was going to go all cliche like on you, what with the "chin up buckaroo, things do get better!". Or maybe a little "the door doesn't close without opening a window". Perhaps a little "think of this as an opportunity".

But, I am not going to do that today. Today I am just going to acknowledge that getting fired sucks. It happened to me once. It was a similiar "attitude" situation. I went home feeling all tingly in my stomach, with some vague fears about paying bills and feeding cats and whatnot. In the end, it was ok of course. But, that first day, and the days following until I found another (better) job sucked ass. So, as shitty as this is for you, rest in the knowledge that you hated that job, and you hated your boss, and that it will be ok. You will be ok.

If you lived in Chicago, I would hire you immediately. :o)

Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

Some days you just need the drink.

Blogger Uccellina said...

No! Getting fired is GOOD! Now you can 1) collect unemployment, and 2) look for a Good, Satisfying Job! Or at least one that doesn't make you want to poke your eyeballs out.

Wanna have a drink tonight? At the Farmers Market? My treat.

Blogger Sara said...

Honey! I know it sucks, but like Uccellina noted, it's actually a good thing. You can now qualify for unemployment (so you will have income and be able to pay some bills) and you can dedicate yourself fulltime to finding a new and better job. Have a drink, take a deep breath, and realize how much happier you'll be never having to walk into that place again.

Blogger jiggs said...

You're gonna pick yourself up, dust yourself off and find another job. And if it's at starbucks, so be it. As I commented earlier, there is no shame in working, whatever the job.

And when you do pick yourself up, I will admire you even more than I do now because it takes so much courage and strength to keep fighting. Thankfully, you have both the requisite courage and strength.

Blogger Sachi said...

Sweetie, do you need the phone number of my hook-up who is finding my assistant a better job before this ship sinks?

Second, please call a credit counselor. They'll run interference with the hospitals for you. If you need advice on how to handle collections stuff, call me... I've been on the collecting end of it for a few years.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, honeybear. I'm so sorry. I, too, feel your firing-pain. It WILL be OK -- you'll eventually wonder why you stressed about it at all. Won't make it suck less in the mean time.

Shoot me an e-mail -- I'll help you deal with the creditor crap.


P.S. you always have a place to stay in Nor Cal.

Blogger Quirkalot said...

I'm sorry about your job, but then again... you seemed to dislike it quite a bit.
I also wanted to let you know that I posted a picture or two of my latest biopsy on my nose... in case you get bored and want to look at icky stuff.
Love you!

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Fuck that assclown. He was a creepy fucker and deserves a good strong nutpunch.

I'm with Jiggs. You'll pick yourself up and get a job. And you WILL wind up in a better place than you were. I know how hard it is to take the long view when you have all kinds of real and immediate worried hanging around your neck, but you know there will be a point when you'll look back from a much happier place and say "That was a crappy time. But I got through it."

For immediate relief, find a midget (perferably German) ang kick him. I know I'm going to piss off the tiny Deutch saying this, but you can't beat German midget kicking for a stress reliever. It's very relaxing.

Unless you're the midget.

Oddly enough, my word verification is "gshkidn," which sounds like drunkenly slurring "just kidding." Weird.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

What?!? This blows.
Still, your boss was a real skeeve. Be glad.

Hmmm, now what?

Out of curiosity, what is the thing you feel you want, or need, or deserve?

The time is now.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Ohhhh. I'm so sorry this shitty thing happened to you, Kendra. Your exboss is an asshole and it's good that he will no longer be... poisoning your aura and existence with his shittyness. You have choices. Whatever you choose, you have support. Your family and the Internet are on your side.


*sneaks in a kiss*

Blogger Thérèse said...

(Um, and your friends too, obviously. Didn't mean to leave them out.)

PS. If you need anything else in that care package I'm sending (which contains drugs & a hooker, of course), let me know.

Blogger me said...

i don't know what being fired feels like (i always quit before they could get the chance) but br got fired in an extremely unfair way and it hurt me, maybe not as much as it hurt him, but it hurt none the less.

i'm probably beating a dead horse but what about monster.com?

bad things happen to really good people but what makes good people better is that they can rise above the bad shit. there's a light at the end of your tunnel... you just have to keep wading through the nasty muck to get there.

i'm sorry that you got fired. if i could, i'd send johnny barnes over to give you a hug. but know that he loves you anyway.

Blogger Beeb said...

Collect. Spend your days drinking and looking for a job... maybe not at the same time. Well... if anyone can pull that off you can. Good luck and just think it of it as someone cutting the ties for you. Just saves you the trouble.

PS: CommonWombat: Assclown is my word. ;)

PSS: Come to CT. We need smart people here.

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

Honey, you need a whole bottle.

*slides bottle of Jack down the bar*

Blogger Tim said...

that blows.

hang in there.

Blogger FRITZ said...

For the rest of this week, you are allowed to stay in bed and cry. Then, you are allowed to get really pissed off and fight for unemployment.

Sell some shit off if you can, and just relax for a moment. Make the Boy take care of you. Cry. Be upset. And then, you can go and get the job you REALLY want, instead of worrying about that scumbucket.
I can't believe people get fired for 'attitudes'. What a shitty, shitty thing for that fucker to do. He'll get his.

Oh, Miss Kendra. I wished I lived two doors down so I could come and take care of you. I'm thinking of you.
Take heart. Things happen for reasons. That sounds really trite. But don't worry about the money stuff--I'm actually considering bankruptcy and I'm like...okay with that.

I love you, dear.

Blogger Übermilf said...

CJ would hire you and you could live in my downstairs for free until you get back on your feet.

Blogger sleepydog said...

That sucks Miss Kendra, but I'll send all of my good vibes and super-job hunting mojo your way.

Once you have conquered the world, you can crush your old boss like a puny ant beneath your all powerful feet.

Him, moments before his demise: "Hmm, I smell cookies, WHAT THE ..??!"

Have many drinks, it's never too early you know, because it's always 5 o'clock somewhere.

I hope things get better for you soon, a lot of us out here think you're the bees knees.

Blogger LotusKnits said...

clearly a lot of us think you rock the way motley crue did in the 80s.

and he's obviously the antichrist for firing you on 6/6/06. screw that disgusting pig, you deserve better.

have a few drinks, a few tears, and go get your unemployment check so you can find that kick ass job you really want.

*big hugs*

Blogger puck said...

that sucks, but like others have said, you will be better off in the long run.
of course you could sue him for a hostile work environment and sexual harrassment with all the porn and what-not lying around.
but my good thoughts fro job-hunting are going straight your way, and if i wasn't stuck in the middle of fucking omaha, i would take you out for a dirnk.
hang in there, you have people rooting for you!

Blogger puck said...

that would be a drink, not dirnk...stupid fat fingers

Blogger Tel said...

OH GIRL! Unemployment is highly underrated. I know it sucks, but you'll get at least 75% of the salary you were making at your previous job. That's not so bad, right? And you'll have a few months to look for something you really want to do!

Anonymous Meg said...

Oh man, Kendra I have nothing but the best wishes for ya. Seriously.


Your ex-boss sounds like a real A-hole.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I am so sorry sweetie. You deserve only good things, and hopefully you will look back and this will turn out to be a good thing in disguise.

I'm off 'til August. We can chat online anytime you like. You can bitch and moan as much as you want - you deserve a good bitch and moan session.

I'm sending you a big hug. Which means our boobies are smashed together in my mind.

Love you!

Blogger Tits McGee said...

That fucking blows. I've been fired, and even when you hated the job and are better off without it, it still fucking blows. So I'm really, really sorry and hope you are good and liquored up right now. You earned it.

I'm entirely sure you will find your way through this and come out better for it, but if you do decide to run back to MA, you are welcome to come stay at Chez McGee. We'll stuff you full of delicious comfort food and booze and pat your head and say, "There, there, little warrior."

Blogger Sunflowerfairy said...

Beeb, we do? Just kidding. I'm very smart.

Miss Kendra- I'm sorry to hear that you got fired. I was fired from a miserable fucking job a few years ago and it sucked. Just remember that even Bill Gates got fired once.

Just think, now you have more time to knit!

And you won't have to empty that asshat's dishwasher ever again. Yipee!

Blogger Michelle said...

I'm a friendly, non-judgy lurker who felt compelled to comment that it seems to me like the p0rn and inappropriate comments are grounds for you to file a complaint. Seriously.

Would buy you a drink or 5 if I lived near you.

Blogger Libby said...

I love you, Miss Kendra. You got fired on 6/6/06. Only you, my darling. :)

Please let me know if you need cookies or likker...or..?

Blogger MadMeer said...

I had to go to work for this uber bitch a few years ago and every day was torture. Eventually my friendships and everyhing outside of work suffered b/c I was so unhappy. I knew if I quit, I'd be screwed. Of course being the stubborn ass that I am, I eventually snapped and got myself fired. I was jobless, broke and almost homeless, but man it felt fucking great to be rid of that bitch.

Losing a bad job is sort of like losing a absessed tooth. Sure, you have a big gap there afterward (or a big fat bill that you can't pay), but at least the fucking pain is gone and you can focus on something else. Something better.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

Oh, Miss Kendra. I'm so sorry. I'd come over and give you a great big hug, if only we lived closer.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try this:


Anonymous The Knitting Nerd said...

Sorry, I didn't intend that msg to be anon.


Blogger karla said...

Holy shit! I can't believe you got fired! I don't want to sound all "every dark cloud has a silver lining" and shit, but hopefully this is just the bad beginning to what will be a much happier existence for you. That job blew anyway. Maybe you'll love (or at least like) the next one. If that dickhead hadn't fired you, you might have toiled away for years at that dump. Now you can go out and get a better job.

(That was VERY "silver lining," wasn't it? Sorry. Go back to drinking.)

Blogger Rrramone said...


That does blow, but I will be unabashedly silver lining-y and say it is a good thing. You may have already found a better job but I'm behind on your blog. :-)

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