i've never been fired before. it feels jiggly in my stomach, like bad meat.
he told me that he didn't think he could tolerate my attitude any longer and i told him that my attitude was based on the fact that his comments and computer full of p0rn made me uncomfortable. he denied any knowledge, and then he let me go.
also the hospital has sent all of my past due bills from the car accident to collections, so i am beginning to receive the phone calls and the scary things in the mail with the large numbers and high percentage rates.
all in all, i think i need a drink.
and a nap. i haven't been sleeping for fear that i would have get up and go to work in the morning.
seriously, after 25 years of constant turmoil, can i please catch a break? is there nothing i can do right? i'm very close to packing up my stupid car that i bought and don't own with all of my crap and my cat and driving back to massachusetts where i can crawl into bed and cry.
but that won't work either, because my parents are very practical people and they will want me to get up and go look for a job but i'm tired of looking for jobs it 's all i've done for a whole fucking year now and i can't find one that sounds like it won't make me miserable and i'm so tired of nothing being anything like what i want or need or deserve and maybe i should check myself into a hospital so finally i can just sleep but i don't have any insurance so that's not going to happen either.
so yes. drink.