May 31, 2006
figures.

i went to the doctor this morning regarding some interesting dizziness i've been having of late and it turns out my ears are full of fluid.

yay!

it also turns out this is because of my *ahem* ALLERGIES. which i did not have until i moved here, but which i now have badly enough to fill my fucking ears with fluid. EARS FULL OF FLUID!

this also explains the constant sneezing, the runny noses, the sinus pressure etc etc. i've been taking claritin since we moved here because i figured that was part of it, but apparently, claritin is not enough.

claritin does not keep you from having your ears fill with fluid. and claritin does not help you to unfill them, as this process can take SEVERAL MONTHS.

so.

also the dog will not allow me to spritz his nether regions. he screams and runs away and pees on the carpet. we tried doing it outside, but then he screams and runs away and makes the neighbors angry. so now we have to drug him orally, which means he will either be anorexic to spite me, or get even fatter from all the drug vehicles. vehicle of choice: hot dog. maybe i should get a weiner cutter (thank you robiewankenobie), if only to make it more entertaining when i have to toss the "meat" stuffed with antibiotics and antifungals down his stupid allergic throat.

now i'm at work, trying to work, but more like trying to blog and eat lunch (savory chicken with wild rice) except that everytime i try to take a bite i'm distressed by the fact that the wild rice is dirty looking and curled, and so looks like someone clipped his toenails into my allegedly savory soup.

it's freaking me out.

i think the fluid in my ears is a potent hallucinogenic.

licking my ears will be the new thing.

eeew.



26 Comments:

Blogger Booty J Patrol said...

You might want to look into these for you dog: http://www.pillpockets.com/index_fs.htm

They are little beef flavored pockets to put the drugs into. We use them on our dog and he loves them.

And as for your ears -- I grew up in LA and have had that problem all my life. It really sucks when you have to look up. So try not to look up anymore.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

oh, mah, gawsh...i got a call out from miss kendra! *faints*

Blogger eebmore said...

Whenever I’m trying to rub the nethers of a disinterested object, I usually just lie and tell them how pretty, witty and smart they are. Then I tell them that there is no other object of my nether rubbing desires, and that I'll always be there for them. But first, you need to build trust... through deception. Works for me!

Blogger Brookelina said...

This is all very disturbing, especially the image of the dog screaming which clearly you can't hear since your ears are full of fluid.

I think you need some chocolate.

Blogger Nick said...

Robie - It's "shout out" man. Damn.

I would totally lick your ears. Not you Robie.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

That's what happens on the Edge of Nowhere...allergens.

Blogger jackt said...

I heard wild rice is supposed to look a little dirty. Otherwise it'd be, like, white rice.

Blogger FRITZ said...

See, here's the fucking deal: we're killing the fucking earth with pollution. The fucking earth is deciding to fuck with us since we're fucking with her. And she does so by punishing those of us who are good and decent and throw our trash away and drive low-emission vehicles. She doesn't care. She wants us to suffer.

But she's not the only one: no, no. The insurance hates us, too, because since Claritin is now over the counter, most insurance won't cover those other sinus/allergy drugs that actually work.

And I'll lick your ears, but I want a tongue condom.

Blogger Uccellina said...

You suffer because you are noble and virtuous.

Yum. Ear ambrosia.

Blogger Sachi said...

Hey, chicky-babe. You going to be around tomorrow night? If so, I'll bring you some over-the-counter goodies that my doc gifted to me to combat my vertigo. It's not un-common and, get used to the warning signs. You can fight it off for the two weeks before it hits hard. I've almost got it beat this time. One more night of benedryl and I should be right as rain.

Oh. If you wake up and can't hear, don't panic. It's all part of the same thing. Call in sick, take some benedryl and let the doc know.

Blogger Sachi said...

Oh.... and draining CAN take several months but it CAN take less time too. Draining until comfy only takes a couple days.

Blogger jiggs said...

I'd worry more about you if you weren't such a tough gal.

that pickles is a handful. Like I said before, you're a good doggie mom.

Blogger Tits McGee said...

::lick, lick::

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Liquid ears r hawt.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I can come by with a syringe.

And some doggie sedatives.

Blogger slappy said...

Jesus, what the hell is wrong with LA? I mean, we (Northern Californians) have been poisoning the aqueduct water for years, but I had no idea of the side effects. I'll have to bring this up at the next meeting.

Blogger Thérèse said...

I love how we go from ear fluid to the dog's nether regions to drug vehicle hot dogs to soup back to ear fluid all in one post.

Blogger Beeb said...

well, k, you just answered my question- i am not moving to CA...

can you get fluid in your ears from just visiting? now i'm worried...

come home girl! (gotta throw that in when i can) :)

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

My sympathies to you... My allergies have chosen to manifest as bright pink bloodshot eyes right now.

That don't go away with allergy medication of any form.

I look like I've stayed up for a week straight, tweaking.

Lovely.

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

It seems to me that ears full of liquid should be something you can figure out on your own without a doctor's opinion.

Blogger Autumn said...

clipped toenails. ewww...

fluid in ears. ouch...

Blogger sleepydog said...

Every time I read a new post on your site I think to myself "This Miss Kendra is the perfect example of the essence of womanhood."
I hope your plans for world domination are going well, it will be nice to have such an awesome supreme ruler such as yourself (And the current supreme ruler does not smell like cookies, which sucks)

Sometimes I laugh so hard reading your blog that I swear ninja stars will fly out of my butt.

Seriously.

Blogger woodyrat said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger woodyrat said...

I love you too, Miss Kendra

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

allergies may/may not be causing me to feel like death for weeks and call in sick to work. I don't understand. They just seem so unnecessary. I sympathize.

The curly rice is rather irritating, I agree.

Blogger TastyMcJ said...

My allergies were goin' nuts when I was in LA last, too.

But they've been unusually bad this year, even up here in the Bay Area.

Must be a sign of the apocalypse

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