May 26, 2006
dogistat?

first let me just say that my dog has gained six pounds in two months. that doesn't sound too bad until you realize it's almost 10% of his body weight. because the steroidal treatments increase his appetite and cause cortisol production, he now weighs 74 pounds. fat ass.

anyway, pickles, otherwise known as "go-lay-down," who obviously takes after me in that he likes to do things ALL THE FUCKING WAY, has developed not only a bacterial skin infection but also a topical yeast infection. so it's not herpes, but it is gross. basically the bacterial sores start kind of blistery, then they dry up all scaly and smelly, and then all his hair and skin in the area comes off, leaving him with discolored splotches. that's how we know that he's had this cycling for a while. we had seen the sores before, but none of the other vets had any real idea what to do- they just gave us antibiotics- which treated the infection, but not the cause of it.

so, SURPRISE! both of these infections were started by an allergic reaction, and because he keeps having the allergy, he keeps having the infections. we're treating topically this time (because last time he took the oral antibiotics he went anorexic and my hands smelled like chopped beef for weeks). they gave us some antibiotic/antifungal spray and a whole bunch of suggestions on how to minimize his potential allergen exposure.

the dog has potential allergen exposure.

and so i have spent the last several hours cleaning my apartment because the dog might be allergic to dust/dustmites.

the dog "might be" allergic.

and i have to wrap his bed (the inner stuffing part) in plastic so that dustmites can't bite him and then put the freshly boiled cover back on. or buy some fancypants anti-microbial bed protector. AND i vacuumed within an inch of my life, but our vacuum (of course) only sort of works so now i need to buy a new one.

for the dog.

AND i have to medicate his afflicted regions twice daily, as well as bathing him every other week with special shampoo and re-application of flea treatment, because the stupid shit washes off.

point being, if you need me i will be out back, on my back, sliding up to the dog's undercarriage to apply some of that there spray to the chassis.

do you think he has a hemi?



22 Comments:

Blogger Tits McGee said...

Oh, my.

That sound like so much less fun than chocolate bikini wrestling.

Poor Pickles.

Blogger eebmore said...

oooooh. If i lived near you, I would gladly volunteer to rub his nethers for you. Hell, I would pay you for it!

Okay. I'm kidding. I'm not really that gross.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

Jesus Kendra, I love you so much. And I'm sure Pickles does as well, although I'm not sure he is able to appreciate your biting sarcasm.

Blogger Nick said...

The last dog I owned was a Black Lab named Malcolm. I'm not joking.

He had the exact same thing you are talking about here. Weight gain and all.

He was a sick puppy, and not in the good way.

I'm sure Pickles will be fine because it sounds like your vet at least has a clue what's going on. If our vet had had a clue, I might not be referring to Malcolm in the past tense.

I realize that this was, perhaps, not the best story to tell, but I did it to illustrate the level of competence between our vets. I wouldn't worry, were I you.

Blogger Brookelina said...

They say pets are just like their owners. Does Pickles have fabulous breasts?

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

dear ms. kendra,

i would openly mock your devotion to your dog were it not for the fact that i have provided my differently-abled pooch with a wheelchair.

love,
robiewankenobie

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

You know, in England, Spotted Dick is a dessert.

Blogger Masked Mom said...

When I was a kid, we inherited my great-grandfather's dachshund Brownie who had exactly the same symptoms. Our vet was an idiot, however...so we just put up with an occasionally whiny, smelly dog. Your devotion is admirable and (I'm sure) greatly appreciated by Pickles.

Blogger jiggs said...

You're a good doggie mom

Blogger fae said...

have you asked your vet to do a thyroid test on him. my dog was overweight and was all icky skin and stuff so we did a thyroid test and he was not producing enough of that particular hormone so we put him on pills and now he is all svelte and ther are no more gross infected areas. even if pickles is relatively young (5-8) he can still get it. it is very comon in labs ect.

Blogger Thérèse said...

That's love, that is.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

ew.

Blogger me said...

i second jiggs in that you are a good doggie mom.

i don't know how i'd be able to handle that, what with the weakness of my stomach when faced with certain... things...

but yea... i hope he feels better.

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

you're too kind. lucky doggy

Blogger Stacey Budge said...

I feel your pain. I had a basset mix that porked out when I had to put him on prednisone (I know I totally spelled that wrong). Because he had an itchy butt. The things we do for our pets. But how could we not help our babies. You and Laurie(CAP) should start a support group.

Blogger Beeb said...

poor pickles.

poor

poor

pickles.

you can send him my way- i've got lots of hemi outside my office.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I bet Pickles is a slant 6.

Blogger Autumn said...

hey, we have a "go lay down" too!

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

hee hee...hemi.

:)

Good luck with the um, nether-area-application...

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I'll send vodka.
For both you and Pickles.

Blogger Booty J Patrol said...

Ah, the things we do for our dogs. It's a good thing they provide unconditional love in return, eh?

Blogger Isabel said...

Wow you are a good dog mommie! I vote for a second vet opinion, before you start potentially expensive treatment options. I mean, you want to treat it once, not twice.

I got my dogs to eat medicine two ways.
1) put it physically down their throat. it takes 2 people. you have to make sure they swallow or they'll shake it out. this is no fun if it's pepto bismol (i speak from experience)

2) put it in something smeared with peanut butter. Hotdog smeared with peanut butter is fine. Or chill cream cheese and roll up the pill in a cream cheese layer. Basically, you have to seal off the the pill. Make sure the dog isn't in the room when you do this or it may smell the medicine!

good luck.

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