May 03, 2006
200 just doesn't go as far as it used to

this is my 200th post. impressive, isn't it? i rather like the dull ache it's causing. it's like cutting, but on the internet. scarless self injury, courtesy of miss kendra's shit blog. all the teens are so into me.

i'm very not funny as of late. i think the new job is draining me. imagine the worst boy or girlfriend you've ever had. now make that person your boss.

delusions of grandeur? check.
narcissistic? check.
blame deflector? check.
cheaper than a three cent whore? check.
physical presence makes me feel unclean? check.

what's a girl to do?

in other news, my boyfriend went skinny-dipping last weekend and lost his wallet somewhere in the pacific ocean area. if you find it, please let me know.

i know i have been largely missing lately, and now that i'm here i'm sucking pretty hard, but thanks to everyone for sticking around. jiggs casey sent me a picture of worldwide pickles that pleased me greatly, and wombat sent me this:



i printed and laminated it so i can draw on him with dry-erase markers.

like this, but without all the effort of mspaint. just me, my markers, and poor poor wombat, just trying to cheer the crazy girl up, now having pictures of himself in clown makeup, earrings, and spraying fire poop posted all over the internet.





dammit! he's using me. it was his plan all along.



24 Comments:

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I am completely horrified at what your new boss is doing to you, because it seems that "cheaper than a three cent whore" should be a perk.
Clearly, she (or he, i suppose. i know some cheap whorish guys...) is a bastard.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

Put an egg in the very back of one of his desk drawers.
You'll feel happy every time you think of it.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Just the fact that you would even do that (laminate & draw on Wombat) makes me want to get in your pants.

Is that so wrong?

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I'm pretty sure I met you boss on Hot or Not.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I wish you could eat butter. I would send cookies.

Blogger Egan said...

Congrats on post number 200. Sucky news about the new job. It's amazing how much a good or bad boss makes a difference in a job. Best of luck with that and finding your boyfriend's wallet. If it shows up here in Hawaii, I will keep you posted.

Blogger jiggs said...

This isn't a shit blog at all! In fact, you rarely talk about poop.

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

Blogger Tel said...

Pooops!

Blogger Moe said...

Shitty bosses suck. Karma will get them someday (or has already). Still, that does not help you today. A potato hidden in their office would also do the trick - have you EVER smelled a rotten potato? Bleh.

Blogger LotusKnits said...

Surely drawing Wombat's flaming poo would make you feel a bit more Kendra-esque. And provide a good laugh for the rest of us.

I too work for a crazy person. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

Well. I'm sorry about your dumbass boss. That's never fun.

Thank you for the hilarious comic relief though. The flaming poo coming out of Wombat brightened my day, for some unknown reason...

Blogger me said...

everyone has a shitty boss at least once

my old boss had only 3(three) outfits for work, these *increadibly* ugly suit things... and bad hair... and the WORST make up *ever* (you know the old telescope gag, where someone would ring the eye piece with black and the person would get a black ring around their eye? yea... that's her) and ugly *ugly* sad shoes.

and she was a flaming bitch.

so... you're pain is shared!
if i were a disenchanted youth i'd so idolise you...
wait... i do already... yay!
who wouldn't love you?
you've made your blog accessible to the handicaped!

Blogger tfg said...

Man, the cost of living in California really is a killer. I hope the Baltimore whores don't raise their rates to 3 cents.

Blogger xt said...

Poor Miss Kendra. It is probably cold comfort that we all love and adore and lust after you.

Go to www.pinstruck.com and send your new boss a voodoo curse. It is DELIGHTFULLY satisfying.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

If you come to Baltimore you can get out the laminator and doodle on me in real life.

When I say "doodle on me" it's not some kind of metaphor for scat porn.

There's a small chance I may make it out to CA this summer. If you want I can come to your place of work and push your boss down and pee on him. It probably won't make your work go any better, but hey - entertaining!

Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

The bad boss thing indeed sucks, but I loved your wombat art.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

Come to SnB tonight and we'll regale us with stories of the insane boss. I'm still cracking up over "looks good."

I like the hamburger in Wombat's hand in the Clown picture.

What's worldwide pickles?

Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

sweet idea with the laminating. Why are you staying at the job if you hate the boss so much?

Blogger GrandPooOfAwesome said...

I think your swell. Happy 200. :)

Blogger Tim said...

this is only your 200th post?? I didn't comment here for so long because I was so jealous of your awesomeness and your millions of readers becuase I thought you started 5 years ago.

Blogger puck said...

if your boyfriend was skinny dipping, where was he keeping his wallet?
anyway
a little bit of power just goes out of control in some people, i have had a number of awful bosses. just remember we can always make a bad juju doll against him http://badjujukal.blogspot.com/
and not that you need any help with creativity, but just think of the possibilites

Blogger Grend31 said...

Hope work gets better for you.

Just remember the infinitely wise words of Tyler Durden:

"You are not your job."

Blogger Krystle said...

Did anyone else notice that Wombat has 4 toes on one foot and five on the other??? Was it a terrible, terrible, maiming accident?? Like an anvil falling on your toe(Wiley Coyote style), crushing it flat so it had to be amputated? Or maybe you donated it to science...

Blogger ladylinoleum said...

Girl I feel for you with the job thing. I'm on the same cruise ship. We should meet at Issac's bar and have a drink. Do you get a lunch?

Loving the dry erase wonderment.

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