i was trying to think of something i know alot about, besides cookies, vodka, general (and private first class) naughtiness, or yarn... when it dawned on me that i am a veritable cornucopia of blogaliciousness. i'm spilling over. really. and here's why:
because bad things happen to me all the time! also, i'm pretty much insane and so i regularly obsess over odd and disturbing things! plus, i'm basically a medical textbook, chock full of crazy disease and physical deformity. jackpot!
today's weird body part is: my feet!
weird thing number one (re: my feet)
i have extra boney things. mostly it just looks like i have thirteen ankles. i'm ok with the way it looks, but it can make shoe wearing rather uncomfortable as there are weird protrusions where there should be none. my feet are like the head of a triceratops.weird thing number two (re: my feet)
one time, at
band campjew camp, i went white water rafting, and because i am just the girl these things happen to, i was thrown from my raft. my foot got lodged between two boulders and when they pulled it out, one of the spurs shifted on to my achilles tendon leaving me paralyzed. my leg just went all stiff and useless like paris hilton, but less slutty. i spent the rest of the summer (at sleep away camp) on crutches. it was fun, like death but (also) less slutty.
my feet are flat. very very flat. so flat, in fact, they are inverted.weird thing number three (re: my feet)
i am not making this up.
i have "overpronated" feet. this is what it looks like when i stand normally:
these are not actually my feet,
but they look essentially the same.
i totally used to wear orthopedic shoes, which increases my sex appeal exponentially. seriously. hello!
anyways, i haven't worn them in a long time and apparently it's starting to show. this past weekend i went for a walk and ended up with the worst shin splints in the whole wide world. you can actually see them. so i sucked it up and ordered myself some motion control shoes to prevent my feet from rolling inwards like that. they are hawt, and you will tell me so (repeatedly) when they arrive and i am forced to wear them instead of pretty heels... at least until i stop wanting to chew my own legs off to end the pain.
despite all of this, i still have happy feet.
i'm almost positive i have the ammunition to make this a regular part of *golden state*, and while i find that relatively frightening, it's also quite entertaining.
so stay tuned for "the amazing story of the evil christmas light" and "that one time i got scarlet fever."