April 19, 2006
breaking headline!

i kid you not: in the last several hours, a minimum of three- no, four- unrelated people have contacted me via email or phone to ask if this article was about me.

as far as i know, i'm ok.

which means there's a possibility that it is indeed me, and i have just blocked the whole thing out with the awesome and formidible powers of my motherfucking mind.

i figured i should address this before anyone else got their panties all in a bunch.

in other sad and disturbing news, my blogging pals are dying off at an alarming rate. this confirms what i had heretofore thought to be a vile and malicious rumor: nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i'm going to go eat worms.


Blogger melissa.in.london said...

Oh, no one hates you.

At least no one in their right mind.

Blogger Libby said...

I'm not dying! I'm here. Sort of.

But don't ask me to be funny. I seem to have broken that part.

Blogger Uccellina said...

I don't hate you either. And OH, my god, I am going to douse my kitties in flea treatment as soon as I get home.

Word verification has a sense of humor - MEWJK.

Blogger eebmore said...

i’ll have you know that i intentionally twist my panties into a bunch, as i enjoy the way they make me feel down there. technically, i’m not even supposed to wear panties. screw the small minded. i know what i like.

Blogger JenL said...

Gummy worms are tasty. And the sour patch worms are even better. If you weren't planning on having those, I would say back away from the worms.

No one is dying here either. In fact, we are almost giddy after two straight days of sunshine.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Well, okay, the worms thing actually kind of sounds like a good idea (you know, a little tobasco sauce, a little pepper, *smacks fingers*).

I agree that there are an awful lot of bloggers that seem to be dropping like flies lately.


That was a very stern and gently subtle warning.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Do you watch "House"? A most excellent show. And one that quite ironically featured a woman that contracted the plague in last nite's episode! When I saw the headlines this a.m., I didn't for a moment think it would be you. You're just to cool to go all medievil on us.

Blogger Nick said...

It's shocking to think that something we treat so easily with antibiotics, reigned death upon the land and caused a wave of panic that spanned continents. So much so that it led to many tales of horror, not the least of which is The Masque of The Red Death by Poe, an altogether terrifying story.

Fucking science rules.

Blogger jiggs said...

I concur with nick. fucking-science does rule. There's nothing like doing it while wearing a lab coat.

I keep my panties in a bunch. yup: Jiggs Casey's Bunch 'o' Panties. 10 panties to a bunch.

I don't have the plague but people usually treat me like I have the plague. It's ok though cuz I don't care for most people too much anyway. I only like princesses.

I was gonna make an "on vacation" section for by blogger pals that are gone. Brooke however, doesn't want me to put her there, but I think it's in everyone's best interest.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Well, I think its better to know if someone's on vacay (or just taking a break), rather than just sit and think they've abandoned you. Not that I have those sort of issues. I'm just sayin'.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...


Blogger Annika said...

Are they dying of the plague? That would be an amazing coincidence.

Blogger GrandPooOfAwesome said...

Did you like just get FireFox or something, because did you know that you could personalize those tabs? For example, you could have one tab that says It's All Relative? I mean if you were into that kind of thing.

I was totally gonna say what eebmore said about the panties. How strange is it that three of your readers fixated on the "panties in a bunch"? One of those three doesn't even wear panties. Okay, maybe more than one.

God, this response is longer than most of my own posts.

I'm awesome. Thanks.


Blogger Nick said...


Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I just looked at you screaming over that pink tutu rabbit and laughed all over again. It is just so funny!

Blogger CommonWombat said...

In related news, a man in baltimore had been diagnosed with the Plaque. A team of top dentists are looking into it...

Blogger Tim said...

Holy shit! I was going to write that on my blog the other day, but I thought that was a song my dad made up when I was little.

word verification: zzzzho, aka sleepy ho

Blogger Bonanza JellyBean said...

I have not died, I'm just in a better place for right now. I'm still contacting you from the other side.

I will return this year. Eventually.

Blogger LotusKnits said...

I'll join your little worm eating party. If you promise to supply the mud pies too. Then we can wrestle. And hope we don't get amoebic dysentery.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I was just diagnosed with a case of "awesome" and a side of "boss".

Anonymous Anonymous said...

*kisses* Kendra.
Glad you don't have the plague.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

It was almost five.
I totally thought of you when I read it.

Oh, and speaking of which, I am now the proud owner of the world's cutest rat.
Wanna come play?

Blogger miss kendra said...

melissa: that must explain the self-loathing.

libby: me too! where can we order replacements? do you think they’re cheap on ebay?

uccellina: seriously! i think i might put it on myself.

eebmore: i hope you at least wear the kind with the breathable cotton crotch. it’s for your own good.

jenl: i don’t like gummys. i’m not a sweets person to begin with, but they give me gummy tummy. blurgh.

therese: it’s not contagious. just sad. *weep*

monkeygurrl: i try to watch the second half, but the first half is preempted by scrubs. he’s sexy, that house. i wish they’d let him talk in his real accent.

nick: fucking science is awesome! the things we can do! like tang, and astronaut food! wow! i’m fascinated by it. i think i would like a subscription to popular science if i had more time to read.

jiggs: lab coats are hot. i don’t think you have the plague, but i won’t know for sure till we meet. i will give a full report upon my return.

unless i don’t return. (the vacation thing sounds like a great idea!)

monkeygurrrl: i agree. don’t leave me!

spinnerina: i don’t have any dead. unless you count this plant with the yellow leaves. but i think she’ll come around.

annika: it would be! that would be so cool.

grandpoof: of course you fixated on the panties! i’m not shocked at all. my use of the word panties throws everything off course. (you are awesome. thanks.)


spinner: i did not find it so amusing. i will try to find more of my youthful angst for your enjoyment.

wombat: i hate dentists. i’m thinking about letting my teeth fall out and then just getting some top of the line dentures.

tim: he did. your father is also my father. surprise!

bonanza jellybean: ooooh ghosty!

lotusknits: i used to wrestle with my friend becky and we would pretend to be American gladiators. my name was “sparkle.”

acw: did you just say boss?

xt: me too! (where have you been?)

veaj: i am so jealous. what's his/her name?

Blogger Tel said...

Gross! The plague! Didn't know the symptoms, but sounds awful!

I'm still here. Don't you know that I update all the time?

Blogger JenL said...

Well, I certainly don't want to give you a yucky tummy.

In that case, what is your favorite snack?

Blogger FRITZ said...

1.Don't fucking show me that stuff about the plague! I'm already certain a bug bite on my arm is going to leak out black pus. Now I've got BOILS to look for.

2. What the hell are you talking about? I'm your NEW sparkly smell like car friend. Isn't that good enough?

3. Did the guilt trip work, or are you impervious? You know...because you're Jewish and you had that Mom (my Mom) that tried every trick in the book to manipulate your soul into a jar of jelly?

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