March 23, 2006
this just in!

i was number one (1!!!) for a search of "miss gotta booty," which is ironic considering my ongoing series of booty laments.

in other news, i am still feeling poopie and wanting to lay in my bed wearing sweatpants and old boyfriend tshirts.

i also want to listen to melancholy music and wallow like a hip little pig in my puddle of ennui, so i have combined that desire with blogging and surreptitiously stolen a meme.

i asked my computer some questions and let itunes do the answerin'. itunes is clearly being run by one of the nine dieties that hates me (i know it's you apple.) if said diety wants me to believe otherwise, it will send me an ipod. one of the bigguns.

i like this meme because it makes sense to different people in different ways, based on how they read/hear the songs. also, these are all really good songs that you should listen to. i included a link and a lyric snippet to get you hooked. soon you will all listen to my music and i will rule with an iron breast! (fists are just oo mean.)
how does the world see you?
recovering the satellites- counting crows
"do you see yourself in me?
we’re such crazy babies, little monkey
we’re so fucked up, you and me."

so, crazy and fucked up and falling from the sky. great.


will i have a happy life?
breaking the girl- chili peppers
"twisting and turning
your feelings are burning
you’re breaking the girl
she meant you no harm."

i'm going to ignore this one.


how do my friends see me?
mad world- gary jules
"i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very very, mad world, mad world."

if this means i'm tired of the world, then yes.


do people secretly lust after me?
ramble on- led zeppelin
"i got to find my girl, on my way.
i’ve been this way ten years to the day, ramble on,
gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

you totally want me.


how can i make myself happy?
nightswimming- rem
"the photograph reflects,
every streetlight a reminder
nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night."

i'm going to understand this as taking more time for myself. also, skinny dipping.


what should i do with my life?
doll- foo fighters
"i wish i never had taken this dare
i wasn’t quite prepared
doll me up in my bad luck
i'll meet you there."

make voodoo dolls?


will i have children?
extraordinary machine- fiona apple
"if there was a better way to go then it would find me
i can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me."

who knows? if it happens, it happens. i will be ok.


what is some good advice for me?
change- deftones
"it’s like you never had wings
now you feel so alive
i’ve watched you change."

grow wings. fly away. don't get caught.


how will i be remembered?
way down- tori amos
"maybe I’m the afterglow."

i just like this one.


what is my signature dancing song?
oh my god- pink
"put me on the table
make me say your name."

so i'm a stripper. cool. i want these shoes.


what do i think my signature song is?
galaxie- blind melon
"and i’m never really sure if
you’ll take
what I’m saying the right way."

i think i don't belong here. i would say that is correct.


what does everyone else think my signature song is?
cosmic girl- jamiroquai
"it was clear that she was from another time
like some baby barbarella with the stars as her umbrella."

thanks, kids. this song makes me happy, so that'll do pig. that'll do.


what song will play at my funeral?
ready for love- india.arie
"tell me what is enough
to prove i am ready for love."

this song makes me cry. good thing i'll be dead.


what kind of men/women do i like?
men: trapped in a box- no doubt
"ah trapped in a box my life becomes void
and all of the thought for myself’s now destroyed."

so i like men who can't think for themselves? or is this pesky "sarcasm" stuff again?

women: broken and ugly- beth hart
"broken and ugly yes i am
still i feel good divin' in."

yes. true. i like survivors.


what will my day be like?
guess things happen that way- johnny cash
"you ask me if i'll get along.
i guess i will, someway.
i don't like it but i guess things happen that way."

that man in black always knows where i'm at.





send cookies. food is my only friend.



26 Comments:

Blogger Grend31 said...

Sometimes I lie awake at night.. dreaming of being ruled by an iron breast.

Blogger Libby said...

I love Johnny Cash....LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM.

Broken, weird little man.

I will send cookies. What kinds?

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

No wonder you fall down! I would kill myself in those shoes.

But they are GREAT.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I do not secretly lust after you. I openly lust after you.

I really do sound gay.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I IMed you a picture of my gadonkadonk, watch for it. Also, this post is utterly fabu. How do you do it? Write a question, then random shuffle in iTunes? Or whuuuuuuuuuuut.

Cheer up now honey, you are greatly loved!

Blogger miss kendra said...

grend: who doesn't? breasts are where it's at.

libby: animal crackers? snackwells vanilla sandwich cookies? a couple oreos? vegan oatmeal raisin cookies? ANYTHING. i am empty inside.

melissa: i'm actually worse in flats. i rarely fall in big shoes.

brooke: it's ok. gay means happy.

spinnerina: oh i will look for it alright. and yes, you do random shuffle and the itunes oracle tells you how things are gonna be.

can i come over?

Blogger FRITZ said...

I don't...think...I can quite tell you enough...how much this made me happy.

No,not really enough.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

We gotta both get a pair of those boots!!! What a sight we'll be at the WeHo SnB!!!

Blogger Tel said...

Mama looooooves the Deftones!

Funny - I was thinking today about human motivation. Sex and food came to mind.

Then there's always the green stuff. (Money! OK, weed too.)

Blogger Spinning Girl said...
Blogger miss kendra said...

fritz: for why?

monkeygurrl: yes. we would be amazing. i think everyone who goes to snb should have to wear them. especially ellen bloom. (i heart ellen bloom.)

tel: my motivation is cookies. and also that if i don't drag my ass out of bed on a daily basis i would let the world fall apart around me.

spinner: lkafsdugaf. humminah.

Blogger Uccellina said...

Quick: What's your favorite kind of Girl Scout cookie? What's your next favorite? What's the one after that?

Blogger jiggs said...

I don't know if I understand the meme. You are given a set of questions, and then you think of a song to answer the question? Is that how it works?

Blogger Uccellina said...

Jiggs - You ask each question aloud with your music-player-of-choice set on Random, then hit play. The title of the song is your answer.

Kendra - what kind of Girl Scout cookies, dammit?

Blogger FRITZ said...

I'm not sure: maybe it's the use of the word 'ennui'. Perhaps, it had something to do with the music that came up...kinda transmorgrifying. Also: because it helped me get to know you better.
And I'm a bit intimidated by you, as is. Hmm. Maybe that is why.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

I'm really jealous of Spinning Girl.

Blogger FRITZ said...

PS: That site, pinupgirl.com or whatever? yeah. I just found my new home. They have the swallows, kendra! The swallows! Or are they sparrows? They are being called both, according to traditional tattoo folks.

So, are you into Goth, or what?

Just asking. We at Fritz, Inc. are into a bit of goth/industrial/retro/darkwave...

Well, tattoos and wierd music. I guess. And cool hair.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I wish that were my real ass.

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

What a cool meme.

I don't bake much. Will you accept cash?

Blogger Thérèse said...

You know, skinny dipping never fails to make a girl happier.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

They only music I listen to is Mexican Polka music. It's awesome.

Blogger miss kendra said...

uccelina: i really missed the boat on this one. i had already left for my doctors appointment. i’m sorry. it was very nice of you to bring me cookies.

jiggs: yeah, like uccelina said, you put the musicplayer on random and let it choose your fate. the musicplayer is a cruel cruel psychic mistress.

uccelina: aaaaaaah! sorry!

fritz: you mean the really happy happy joy joy music? yes. you’re intimidated by me? for why? miss kendra = not scary, smells like cookies.

laurie ann: seriously.

fritz: i know. they have such cute stuff sometimes and it’s usually cheaper than a lot of the other stores that carry similar items. BUT! they also have weird stripper stuff that would not go over well at that work place i have to go to.

i’m into stuff i like? i don’t really know. i am into retro and tattoos and being maudlin.

and cool hair.

spinning girl: we all want that to be our ass.

tinapopo: YES.

therese: it’s very true.

acw: isn’t all polka music mexican?

Blogger Autumn said...

fun! i wanna play. can i borrow your ipod?

Blogger Uccellina said...

E-mail me. It has nothing to do with cookies.

Blogger Squid Vicious said...

i-pod? I refuse to buy one. I saw "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" at an early age. I will not become one of you "pod people"...

Now, if someone *gave* me one, I'd be the poddiest podster ever...

Blogger miss kendra said...

autumn: when they give me one!

uccellina: i see how you must have done well i nyour previous employemnt. rowr!

squid: itunes came with my mac. i don't have an ipod, but i also would be the proud recipient of one.

hint hint.

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