March 21, 2006
more hatred from the powers that be

we are supposed to be moving at the end of the month.

we got a truck, scheduled utility changes, recruited help.

we even paid a deposit.

and yet apparently, the future serial killer* who lives there (and who was supposed to be out YESTERDAY) will not leave. so.

who has a cardbox box we can sleep in?

there's another unit in the building available, so here's to hoping.

here's also to hoping we don't meet up with that guy in the parking garage at night.

*there was junk on every surface. nails, screws, electrical components. the man has five (5!!!!) couches and a bed in the living room, and not a single thing in the bedroom except mold smell. the fridge was full of black fruit. we were too scared to check the freezer.


Blogger me said...

where are you moving?

why are you moving into a serial killer's apartment? you shouldn't anger the beast you know.

why no pictures? you could send them to the FBI... discreetly.

Blogger Danny said...

sorry about the fruit.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Let's hope that black stuff was fruit. If you find a head in the freezer, ebay. You can get top dollar for that stuff.

Blogger Egan said...

Oh the joys of moving.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

well, maybe you *should* take the alternative apt. I mean, after all, that mold smell could be a rotting corpse sealed in the wall. And you *know* Pickles would just love rolling in that!

Blogger jiggs said...

you should take the apartment owners to the people's court!

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

On the fun scale, I rate moving right up there with pulling my own fingernails out with pliers.

Do you need movers? I could spare a weekend and drive up, provided I don't lose another oil cap.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Moving sucks. And blows. And not in the good ways that we all enjoy.

Blogger karla said...

Oooh, oooh! You can stay at my place! Totally rent free! All you have to do is mop my floor and cook me three meals a day. And change my kid's diapers. And mow my lawn. And clean my bathrooms. And rub my feet. And write hateful things to Common Wombat in chat conversations every day. But otherwise, rent free!

Blogger Colleen said...

For some reason I thought you wrote "furniture serial killer"...and it still made sense.

Anonymous wineguy said...

Happened to me once -- I was trying to move into a place in Cambridge (MA), and the previous tenants were too stoned to move out. They finally got out -- about 3 hours before the cops showed up looking for them. Took me weeks to clean the place up!

Blogger MooCow said...

I bet the fridge would have been full of ants.

Blogger said...

We could set you up real nice with some premium cardboard boxes. Maybe even make you a 3 bedroom shack! (My husband works at a place that uses HUGE boxes for resin. It would be perfect!)

Blogger Thérèse said...

Just one cotton' pickin' minute.

You're moving?!

(chews lower lip) This will make letter-stalking you just a liiiiittle bit more difficult.

Blogger Quirkalot said...

Why are you moving again? Suddenly you're nomadic when I finally settle down.
I'm taking care of Skippy for a few days. He's SO old.

Blogger miss kendra said...

me: not too far. but MUCH nicer. and with a pool! oooh! (i hope it’s like melrose place!)

danny: no you’re not.

babyjewels: there’s just so many severed heads on ebay these days i would have to find one that was really special to garner any sort of attention.

egan: you’re so jealous.

monkeygurrl: i think we are taking it. because all i need is pickles rolling in dead people.

jiggs: i am fed up with court. unless you’re offering to represent me.

vj: i appreciate that, but i think we will be ok. Boy has recruited some people from work i think. i will let you know.

brooke: seriously.

karla: i do all that stuff anyway, so sure. except by “hateful things to common wombat” you mean “funny conversations about monkeys with common wombat” right?

colleen: yes it does. i’m telling you the place was like an alternate dimension.

wineguy: cambridge is notorious for such things. i mean, harvard alone has got have like, 3000 stoned people being look for by the cops at any given time.

moocow: ooooh you’re good.

melissa: resin? the only resins i’m familiar with are for reed instruments and recreational drug use. does your husband make oboe bongs?

therese: if you need my new address all you have to do is ask. because you are a pleasant stalker with a lovely speaking voice.

kady’s pet: i don’t want to do the actual moving part- we’re hoping this building will be normal and not full of crackheads who stand under our windows at night shouting about nut lickers. (true story. last night, actually.)

Blogger LotusKnits said...

Rejoice. No serial killer vibes if you change apartments. And mold does not leave quietly.

Blogger Tim said...

I'm confused as to why you are moving into a place with junk and mold all over?

Blogger me said...

pools are fun.

br's dad finds rats in his pool though sometimes... i hope you do not find rats in your new pool.

Blogger me said...

ps i totally *heart* the leopard sweater but because i live on a little island... we are not a country accepted on the pay pal and i cannot pay you for it... *pout*

Blogger miss kendra said...

lotusknits: they were going to replace the carpet and the whole shebang, but it doesn't matter. we're not taking that unit.

tim: all that stuff was supposed to be out by now. but the dude won't leave! so we're getting a different unit i guess. one with out creepy serial killer vibes.

me: yeah me too. i don't mind rats really, but still.

Blogger miss kendra said...

me: we might be able to work something out. you can bid and if you send me a money order i will mark the item as paid when it clears. it will take alot longer, but if you want to do it, we can.

Blogger miss kendra said...

me: but only because i like you- stranger and weirdos have to use paypal. i don't care what tiny little islands they live on.

Blogger Tel said...

You guys move a lot! And have bad luck with apartments! :)

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

What part of the crazy man's apartment appealed to you? Because I would have been making cartoon feet running in the opposite direction.

Blogger said...

Nah. Plastic ones.

You need resin to make plastic.

Blogger FRITZ said...

I say: screw the whole thing. If there is mold and black fruit anywhere within the apartment, it should be bombed and rebuilt.

But if you find a human head in the freezer, then, you've got a book deal.

Blogger Quirkalot said...

Unfortunately, I think there are nut-lickers everywhere you may go, but we can only hope they keep that information to themselves.

Blogger Autumn said...

my house is for sale! it's all yours!

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