miss kendra in wonderland

”in another moment down went alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”

ubie wants to know into what sort of rabbit hole i would fall.

first of all, it would be lined in apple green velvet. and there would be lights shaped like stars all the way down. also probably a little door on the side to the bathroom, because i never manage to make it through a long trip without at least one stop.

then when i got to the bottom there would be animals everywhere for me to play with and no matter how much i squeezed them or rubbed their bellies they would never ever bite my face. there would be kitties and a river full of otters, and big dogs, and a yorkie named wickett, and a horse because i always wanted to be calamity jane, and sign language monkeys with perfect grammar. because everyone would have perfect grammar.

there would be plates of cookies and rice krispie treats and delicious platters of sushi and burgers that do not make you fat. there would be endless libraries at my disposal, and when i wanted to make something pretty, a neon light (vegas style) would shine me in to a room filled with glitter and yarn and vintage fabrics and googlie eyes. and i would never have to clean up after myself because there would be no mess. and everything i made would be just the way i pictured it in my head because the gnomes would be helping. my martini glass would NEVER GET EMPTY.

i would have a giant bed, a whole room of bed covered in 5000 thread count sheets and i would always be able to sleep when i wanted to and not miss anything.

and there would be an italian restaurant that always served spaghetti and meatballs (my recipe), and instead of having The Princess Room be for “functions” it would be for real princesses. and if you weren’t already a princess, for a nominal fee you could go in the foyer (foy-yay) and they would have a big machine shaped like a rocket ship, and you could step inside and press some buttons for like green eyes and red hair maybe, and lights would flash and steam would shoot out and the rocket ship would go, “boop boop bleeeeeeep boop blip” and when you stepped out you would be a for real princess.

for real.

and then there would be racks and racks of beautiful dresses and they would all fit (even the ones cut on the bias) and you could change into a different one as many times as you wanted. i would wear red for breakfast and green for lunch and white for dinner. white would normally be for when there wasn’t any food around. except there would be no stains in my rabbit hole.

and everyone would read my blog. blogging would be my only job, besides looking pretty and testing the food to be sure it’s still good. which it would be. always.