March 02, 2006
i am too tired to be clever

i have a real post (or three)i'm working on, but i can't stop pooping (stress). or being in pain (shoulder). or using parentheses (i heart punctuation, punctuation never leaves). or having one of my family's cats die suddenly (miss scarlett, cancer). obviously "miss" is a family name. we always thought oreo would go first. he is/was fatter, older, sicker and far more crotchety. but oreo persists, as do i.

i promise i will try harder tomorrow.

recent search terms that brought people to *golden state*

havah nagila song

wade skalsky

creepy dave

naked picture blogs

homeless girls naked

crochet beer cozy

golden showers beastiality

pierced tin lampshades

fucking of golden girl

deep dishpan cookies

miss putas

twinkie lust

are pickles good for you

who invented pickles

debone cornish hens

kendra no panties

kendra naked

i'm a twat and proud of it

you're breaking my heart fredo

how to find the value of gnomes



31 Comments:

Blogger babyjewels said...

Wow. just wow.

Most of them were mine, in all honesty. At least the dirty ones.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

"fucking of golden girl"

YIKES!

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

"i'm a twat and proud of it"

yikes.

though the kendra no panties and kendra naked ones are completely understandable.



p.s. here's to no more stress or shoulder pain for you, mk.

Blogger Thérèse said...

are pickles good for you

That actually makes sense.

So does this:

how to find the value of gnomes

You are the expert, after all.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Kendra naked. That was me.

Blogger Joe said...

I wish I crapped when I was stressed.

Blogger Tel said...

Pooping is a stress reliever.

Did I just type that?

Blogger miss kendra said...

jewels: i knew you like golden girls and golden showers, but twinkies? babyjewels. say it isn't so.

pants: i know! which one? i mean, they're all so OLD! i'd have to say betty white.

melissa: i didn't understand that one either.

therese: i am not sure how one would determine the value of gnomes, but i think the units of measure are pikotukis.

brooke: i figured. you don't have to google it, just ask. i'll send pictures.

joe: stop eating so many mushrooms and you might. they're rather binding.

tel: yes you did. i'm very proud of you.

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

I'm still trying to figure out how to debone cornish hens.

Blogger jiggs said...

"but oreo persists, as do i."

genius level.

Everyone else's search terms are way better than ours. Most people come to our site for mythbusters info which is weird since we're not a mythbusters blog.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

In a strange coincidence...earlier today I sang the Golden Girls theme song to a friend. Why do I know the GG theme song? Because I'm nucking futs.

Blogger miss kendra said...

popo: don't bother. cornish hens, while sometimes crazy delicious, are ridiculous. the bone to meat ratio is mathematically impossible.

jiggs: yes, i'm sure you would be flattered if people found you while searching for naked homeless people, urine and beastiality.

shoutout: oreo meows loudly in your general direction. he's deaf, so it's louder than he thinks.

pants: i was singing the growing pains theme song earlier. shoot me!

Blogger Danny said...

Until you have people searching for "hot sexy turkey pictures" will you become my equal.

But I still want to sleep with you.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Please send naked pictures.

Thank you.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

Only you, my dear, would return results on "havah nagila song", "golden showers beastiality" and "debone cornish hens".

Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0252,savage,40755,24.html

homeless orgy

Blogger Joe said...

Your friend Libby is knitting me a hat.

I told her she could get my address from you.

I still remember how you screamed like a wounded animal.

Blogger jiggs said...

well holla back at oreo. I like crotchety old bastards.

Blogger miss kendra said...

danny: i know. i got cornish game hens, insn't that enough for you?

brooke: sometime in the next few days you will be in possession of hot nakedness.

sassy: i was proud of the havah nagila one.

anon: thank you for that.

joe: i resent that. i will tell her where you live, don't think i won't.

jiggs: me too! this is only part of why i love jiggs casey and want his name near my ladybits.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I just got a little moist in my no no place.

Blogger Beeb said...

:D

I just did an image search on no no places and this is what I found...

http://www.hearts-of-hope.com/cheyenne/Eating,%20No,%20WEARING%20My%20Lunch!.JPG

I'm a little freaked out now.

Miss K, I remember Oreo but is Miss S the one that hid all the time? Or wasn't she mean or something? I forget.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Brooke doesn't have a no no place.

She only has a yes yes please please place.

Blogger miss kendra said...

brooke: i sent them. the boys are so jealous.

beeb: scarlett was "moody," but agressively affectionate. (oreo is better) wait- am i speaking ill of the dead if i say that?

ubie: we all do.

Blogger jiggs said...

i love jiggs casey and want his name near my ladybits.

Now that's a testimonial! Maybe i should put that on a t-shirt.

Blogger Brookelina said...

The boys should be jealous. BOYS! I have naked pictures of Kendra. Yes, it's true.

I am officially her lesbian slave. Men hold no interest for me anymore. Good bye heterosexual world.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I'm disgusted by the "homeless girls naked" search and the "golden showers bestiality" search. However, I would be aroused if you somehow combined the two.

Blogger miss kendra said...

jiggs: i would wear it. and i would model it on your behalf.

brooke: it is true. i cannot tell a lie. i can, however, send pictures of by booty over the internets!

acw: you like homeless pee?

Blogger Danny said...

I think that I'm falling in poultry love with you.

Blogger Lulu said...

Have you seen crochetmycrotch.com? Brilliant, I tell you. Crocheted vaginas rock.

Blogger Übermilf said...

Miss Kendra, I hope you become a billionaire and buy out the insurance company that treated you like crap.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Do you feel about gnomes as I do about Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Animals? It's an obsession, a sick fascination, a loathing wrapped in lust. Do you? Do you?

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