March 17, 2006
happy st. patty's day, suckas

this morning i ate an englishman to keep the spirit of the irish alive.*

he was rather bland, as expected, but he screamed in a delightful accent.

we're having irish coffees at work today but since i always have irish coffees (don't ask, don't tell), i decided to bring a friend to help take me to the next level of celebration.



oooh meta. and yes, the flask (i love you, flask) is engraved "meow." it's her name.

you are wicked jealous.



* i came up with this joke in acw's comments and used it here too because i may or may not be a lazy drunk. also, i have to pee.



24 Comments:

Blogger Jesster said...

By all means, use a good joke twice! Can I borrow it for next year?

Blogger jiggs said...

"meta" is a word that I use!

I have a beer stein that says "to be or not to be?"

However after meetign meow, I wish it was named "ruff".

I can't load my blog :(

Blogger Thérèse said...

Ha! I love it!

Meooooooooooooooow. Great.

Have a great St Patrick's day, Miss Kendra!

Blogger me said...

i am definitly wicked jealous of meow.

makes me want to go out and get a leopard print flask, that has actual faux leopard fur around it, and store actual faux bailey's irish cream... without the fauxness of the faux kind.

i think i will have some bailey's to celebrate meow. and maybe a buttery nipple or two.

thank you. *jealous*

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I covet your flask.

I also covet your breasts.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Every St Patty's day I invite all the obnoxious frat boys in Baltimore to spend a few hours getting shitfaced at the many fine bars here in my neighborhood, and then wrap up the evening by vomiting all over my front steps.

What a hoot. Whoooooo!

But you, Kendra? YOU have an excellent evening.

Blogger Tel said...

I need to use the word "wicked" more often.

I'm wicked happy that it's Friday.

How's that?

Blogger Uccellina said...

Happy leprechaun-trapping day!

And thank you for making me eat pasta last night.

Blogger Sysm said...

They closed our office today. The boss said that the place was over-run by filhy leprechauns. And the Irish. I thought he was being redundant.

But an Irish Coffee (in the style of San Francisco's Buena Vista) would be perfect today.



(I'm a self-loathing Irock, per Ubie)

Blogger Frog said...

Oh Irish Coffee.... I love it!!!

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Are leprechauns related to gnomes? Just wonderin'. . .

Can't wait to see your Ebay store.

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

You are sofa king cool. Oh, and since I am a raging drunk, I licked the monitor all around that flask. Yum!

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Can you please explain why sometimes my name has three*** after it and sometimes not? I am basing my whole self-esteem upon this, so better make it good.

Blogger miss kendra said...

jesster: of course you may! send all royalties to miss kendra, courtesy of misskendra international.

jiggs: it was working ok for me… sometimes i have “issues” with my blog. i don’t think it respects me anymore.

therese: you too! wait, you’re probably already had one, being in the future and all.

me: meow is definitely worthwhile. she’s very sexy.

sassy: covet away. maybe when you come here i will let you fondle that which you covet. (meow is such a slut!)

wombat: that’s just a regular day for me, except instead of frat boys it’s loud jerks and homeless people, and instead of bars it’s paperbags full of malt liquor. but the vomit’s the same.

tel: that’s was wicked good.

uccelina: you’re very welcome. you were carboloading for the extensive marathon drinking that should be going on today.

sysm: don’t self-loathe… self-medicate!

frog: who doesn’t? pinko commies, that’s who.

monkeygurrl: possibly. we’ll have to ask.

Blogger miss kendra said...

spinnerina: meow doesn't mind. she's used to being licked.

the *** means that you are naked. or maybe that you have updated recently, i'm not sure.

Blogger jiggs said...

the *** does mean that the blog was updated recently. I was annoyed by the *** until I realized that.

My blog doesn't respect me anymore because I slept with it too quickly. It thinks I'm just some cheap whore. yay!

Blogger Brookelina said...

I think Jiggs is a cheap whore too. Meow.

Blogger Quirkalot said...

That's a wicked pretty computer, too.

Blogger Übermilf said...

If I was a whore, I'd be expensive.

Blogger Egan said...

Sadly I had to miss out on the work drunkeness because I was dumb and got a migraine. The flask at work should be required like an internet connection.

Blogger FRITZ said...

So much for "A Modest Proposal".

We're now eating the English...huzzah!

Nice flasky doo-dah. Really, though, at WORK? Thank God someone out there is as crazy as me. I've had a couple wet lunches, if you know what I mean.

But only a couple.

Blogger Zombie Lou said...

Englishmen are bland and soggy.

If you seen any Latinos dressed all in green, tell them you're friends with Lou Reed and they will give you free booze and a ride in their magical car.

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

I have to pee too

Blogger LotusKnits said...

I knew the English would taste like communion wafers.

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