February 22, 2006
now hear this

jazzy button (and itchy bumps) by tinapopo, "queen" of blogs.

this is an audio post - click to play

please listen. below you will find a poorly rendered visual aid. maybe if i had more of these i could stop the shaking.

seriously. if you know how i can get more of these (i stole this packet from the restaurant i worked in 2.5 years ago) please tell me.


Blogger Egan said...

Sweet, an audio post. Taking the edge off is important. Let's hope there are no accidents today.

Blogger Libby said...

I have "TRIPLE BUFFERED ASIPRIN!!!" in my medicine cabinet at the office - will that work?

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Just take 400 mg of Aspirin. Any product with acetaminophin will do.

Also, maybe take the Aspirin with a big bottle of morphine, and a heroin chaser. And some weed.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

aceto, aspirin and caffeine? Izzint that the same as a coupola excederine?

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

From Excedrine.com (extra strength):

Active ingredients (in each caplet) Purposes
Acetaminophen 250 mg Pain reliever
Aspirin 250 mg Pain reliever
Caffeine 65 mg Pain reliever aid

Blogger miss kendra said...

egan: i have duct taped pillows to all my bony parts for protection.

libby: i don't know how many times this stuff has been buffered. three times seems like alot though.

acw: i like your plan. when are you coming over?

monkeygurrl: i haven't taken exedrin in years... but believe me when i say i think the label on "pain away" leaves out something very important, like heroin or a derivative thereof.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Hmmm. I used to work in the aerospace industry (a million years ago), and they had to follow strict OSHA regs. Part of which was their First Aid kits - and that pack you have looks just like the stuff they had.

I'd say, go to a place that actually counts OSHA violations and workplace injuries and check out their first aid stash. I bet you'll find the ?-laced tri-buffered cure-all.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Or contact
Xpect First Aid
(865) 522-9192 3202 Middlebrook Pke
Knoxville, TN

Xpect First Aid
(865) 522-9192 2847 John Deere Dr
Knoxville, TN

(Also located in Salt Lake City and somewhere in connecticut. . .)

Blogger Egan said...

You're like the girl in the Charmin tv ads.

Blogger JenL said...

I think I'll echo Monkeygurrrrrl with the Excedrin recommendation. My handy dandy bottle of Excedrin Migraine reads:
Per Caplet
Acetaminophen 250 mg
Aspirin 250 mg
Caffeine 65 mg

2 caplets and a Pepsi will generally knock out enough of my migraine so that I can function. Otherwise, it's straight to the vicodin.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

If you find out where to take the edge off please let me know. My leg is so fucked up today I feel like someone packed rocks into my calve last night. I'm about half a day from securing meth and the only thing I know about meth is it will land me an "Intervention" episode.

I think I've listened to your audio post about thirty times. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Blogger Danny said...

I can't listen at work

Blogger Tel said...

I hear ya, mama. It must be Hurtin' Wednesday, because I gotta headache THIS BIG.

Blogger Beeb said...

That somewhere in CT (like monkey said) is right next to my house... come over.

Blogger fatwonkkid said...

My work has tons of these generic meds. They have all sorts of cheesy names.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is anyone going to Mexico soon? I think there are A LOT of us out here who could use some good Mexican-grade Vicodin.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkeygurrl: you are an angel. i am very lazy, and so probably won’t do anything with this information for a while, but thank you. knowing pain away is out there somewhere living a happy life is good enough for me.

egan: i don’t know what you’re talking about. really.

jenl: i try not to drink too much caffeine so i avoid that type of remedy if possible. usually a smartwater will help, but seriously, vicodin?? where the hell are you and how long will it take to get here?

pants: i’m sorry your leg is staging a mutiny. want to come lay in the mri tube with me?

danny: but i didn’t use any swear words or anything!

tel: i hope your headache is gone now. i suspect it might be, because i sure found a big one. if a headache leaves the bay area traveling at 65 miles per hour, how long will it take to find it’s way to my brain, los angeles, ca?

beeb: go knock on their door and mail me whatever they give you.

fatwonkidd: unaspirin? that’s silly. do you have an unmorphine?

xt: yes!!!!! please!!!! someone go!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

When I had my mri I done it smelled like the grandma who was in it before me. I would LOVE to lay in the mri tube with you.

Blogger mk99 said...

We have that at work and it does work. The key is mixing Acetaminophen tylenol) with caffeine. That is what it contains so swig away.

Blogger Autumn said...

we have medicine cabinets at my work & i find myself stocking up on medical supplies for home quite often.

would that be qualified as stealing???

Blogger Egan said...

It's not the first time Kendra someone doesn't understand me. I would like for it to be the last time though. I will improve, I promise.

Blogger miss kendra said...

pants: i'm very pleased. capital V Very.

mk: i'm trying...

autumn: who am i to judge?

egan: more unicorns!

Blogger Übermilf said...

Have you tried rigorous exercise? Some contortion might be good for you.

Or perhaps having a three-way with Gallagher and Carrot Top. Have you tried that?

Yeah. I'm all out of ideas.

Blogger jiggs said...

Finally I'm here for this post. And I have nothing to add really, so perhaps I should just fall back on the trusty old standards:

Nick has jizz on his chin.
I like bacon.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You seems to have all eatten so many pills that you forgot the original question LOL !!!
Extra strength Excedrine is the best over the counter pain killer ive found with those three things in it...


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