February 24, 2006
i have found a new love

and his name is stim.

i had neck pain, stiffness and limited motion, then cam stim.

i had soreness and tension, and behold, there was stim.

i had a headache like someone pushing railroad spikes through my eyes, and lo- in walked stim.


stim's electrodes were attached to the nape of my neck and the neck/shoulder junction. if you look back and forth at the two sides of this picture really fast you'll get an idea of what stim was like for twenty glorious minutes.

you'll note that not only did my shoulders contract due to stim, but i became (impossibly) cuter.

my love affair with stim lasted for several hours, and i now find myself trying to hook up with various electrical devices and recapture the beauty of my first time. unfortunately, my next date with stim isn't till tuesday. *weep*

in other news, sassy stole this okcupid thingie from some vespa lady. it probably wasn't that hard because vespas don't go too fast. i took it and was put off by the results. what right does this okcupid have to label me? he doesn't know me! he's not even real!

he calls me:

The Questioner
you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me
• Be direct and clear.
• Listen to me carefully.
• Don't judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences.
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six
• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six
• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often
• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents
• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

you chose CY

you are also somewhat CZ

if you too would like to be judged and labeled by a machine who offers no pleasant muscular spasms in return, you can take
The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test by felk on Ok Cupid


Blogger Libby said...

I used to work for a PT and I used to LOVE hooking people up to that machine. I used to hook myself up to the machine and put the electrodes on my knee...

I understand your love affair. It is a fabulous thing, the stim.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

That whole stim (is that an acronym?) thing reminds me of ECT in the days of old. NOT that that was a bad thing.

DUDE. I'm so a six. I don't even need to take the test. We're like twin sons of different mothas. Or possibly, the same mothers. Or I am my own twin. . .

I need caffeine.

Blogger eric said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Autumn said...

aw! you added me :) how sweet.

i think your love for stim kinda scares me...

Blogger Danny said...

Ok a few things. This, by far, was the funniest post I've ever read by you. And that's saying something. I want stim, I need stim.

Second, blueberry pie or peach?

third, I am the the adventurer, and shit like that.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

One of your best MSpaint illustrations ever. There was actual audible laughing.

Blogger jiggs said...

I got a 5 on the test which from the description seems pretty accurate.

I almost went into a tangent about how impressive the test was given that there are only two questions, but then I realized that that would bore everyone.

Blogger Danny said...

I agree with jiggs. I was so impressed that I even tried to trick it by telling them that I was a 78 year old woman. But no go.

Blogger babyjewels said...

I'd like a little alone time with that thing.

Blogger miss kendra said...

libby: are you telling me stim has had others? i won’t hear of it. stim loves me just as i love him!

monkeygurrl: it’s “electrical stimulation.” i guess it is like ect, but not to cure the crazy. i don’t think there’s hope for that.

autumn: you just think that because you have not been touched by stim. once he gets his hands on you, you’ll be just as pathetic as me. well, maybe not that bad. and i have been meaning to add you for ages! i’m just dumb.

danny: really? i was just thinking to myself how i used to be funnier before i wanted to amputate my own bodyparts. sassy is an adventurer too you know. you two aren’t all insaneypants like me.

wombat: it’s actually quite accurate. afterwards i had sex hair.

jiggs: it’s terrifying really. it’s like the test has been watching. morpheus (first movie, definitely not third)! get me out of here!

danny: you’re not a 70 year old woman? why do you keep asking me to by you ky and diapers?

Blogger jiggs said...

I just sent you an email of my close reading of your 6 of 9 poem.

Blogger fatwonkkid said...

hmm...love afair with electrical devices. Do battery operated devices tickle your fancy too :)

Blogger jiggs said...

I came back here to get the link to the enneagram test and it occurred to me that you included your breasts in your drawings and I was amused.

Blogger Danny said...

Because I ran out of shitpons for my chronic shit leaking syndrome. So I need some diapers. And the KY isn't for me, I swear.

Blogger Beeb said...

danny did i miss something... maybe i should go back and read the rest of the comments. :)

PS: j is a six too... i'm an eight.

Blogger Laurie Ann said...

I'm a Peacemaker. Frighteningly accurate. And a Nine, but I knew that. See, I'm too modest to declare myself a ten ;o)

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Oh, I am so happy about The Stimstah. Really, really it helped? I am so happy that you are finding relief.

I did that test and I came out a "2", which was needier than I wanted, so I will take it again when I come down from the Vicodin I took for fun since it's Friday night.

But of course I jest! I didn't do that. Vicodin is for morning, dummies!

Blogger CommonWombat said...

I did that test and it said "You are: very much like a God. Only sexier."

Good test.

Blogger Egan said...

I loved the Stim On picture. Impossibly cuter is so true. I love before and after shot of people. Great post Kendra.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I, too, am a six.

Clearly, sixes are sexy.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

So I actually took the stupid test, but I came out a four. The first question threw me off - I would have chosen NONE of those answers! But the second question was spot on.

Can fours mate with sixes? They're both even numbers. . .

Blogger Nick said...

I'm a one, whatever that means.

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

wow, it even made your boobies bigger!

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...


I got #3 the achiever, which is pretty funny considering my state of funemployment

Blogger American Navel said...

stim stim stim stim stim stim stim stim

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

I loved the illustration! Can we assume that you're planning to smuggle the stim out of the Dr.'s office on Tuesday then? :)

Blogger miss kendra said...

jiggs: your literaryness makes me dizzy.

fatwonkidd: batteries shmatteries. plug that thing in!

jiggs: of course i did. i know who i’m writing for.

danny: that was gross. and i prefer the word poopons, as in, “do you have any grey poopons?”

beeb: you’re a ten.

laurie ann: it is frighteningly accurate. that’s why i fear the okcupid. it’s like he’s been watching me.

spinning girl: stim more than helped. stim has reduced my to an awkward teenager in puppy love. stim! (i also took vicodins on friday. saturday too. actually, sunday too.)

wombat: i believe it.

egan: thank you. *blush*

ubie: sixes are the new black.

monkeygurrl: i wouldn’t have chosen any of them specifically either, but you were supposed to pick the general idea of what you would do. and yes, even numbers are all over eachother. stim must be a two.

nick: you’re the only one.

howdy girl: i know. stim is the best thing since ever! and funemployment sounds spectacular. we miss you!

charmingly creepy navel guy: yes! yes! yes!

melissa: i have been scouring the internets for a good deal on a stim of my very own.

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

I have a home version of stim involving copper wire, a car battery, and a bucket of water.

Blogger Thérèse said...

I really liked that ennegram test thing. Spot on, in some aspects.

And the sex hair impossibly cuter thing... well you know what they say. A woman in love and all that.

Wait, did Boy have anything to say about stim moving in? (I assume stim will move in once all the details are ironed out, of course.)

Blogger Egan said...

Have you considered making flashcards using your animation? Like flipbooks or something.

Blogger Libby said...

Stim is a whore.

Jus' sayin.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

You know what I like most about your pictures? They really do look exactly like you.

And I would buy a flip book if you made one.

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