January 12, 2006
who do i have to screw to be one of jerry's kids?

because i need a telethon.



seriously. would it be inappropriate to solicit donations at this point? keep in mind i live in l.a., so my full set of teeth and lack of brain-liquifying odor means i would be a real upgrade from the usual beggar.

also, the new pills are not that great.

and i have to take a decent picture of myself, because i look like a before photo there.



35 Comments:

Blogger CommonWombat said...

If you can manage to join the Maryland Special Olympics (and with that frog on your head, you'd be a shoe-in) then all my polar plunging would only serve to benefit you.

Seriously, though it sounds like a total cliche to say it, hang in there. She who has friends is never alone.

Blogger Egan said...

Sorry the pills aren't helping. That's sucky. We have some great drugs here in Canada.

Blogger miss kendra said...

wombat: special olympics! polar plunge! yes, yes, i want it all!

egan: i will never live that down, eh? mail them to me you tease!

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

The only pills I got are the ones what make you sleepy (but don't kill the pain). I have no philosophical objection to proffering them to you, but I worry you'd have an anaphylactic shock and then Boy, Boon and Pickles would give me a severe beat down and sue my stupid arse.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkeygurrl: i appreciate your offer. these pills seem to have no effect until i get into bed and then i pass out like popo and her posse of hobo hookers.

see you tonight?

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Thinkin' about it. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps. Possibly. Presumably. Imaginably.

Blogger Egan said...

Nice work on the eh stuff. I need you to learn a couple other things to sound more Canadian. Next lesson we'll discuss use of "qu" vs. "ck".

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkey gurrl: better be.

egan: is it wrong that when trying to think of an example my first try was "coque?"

Anonymous Ashley said...

oh my god-is nobody going to comment on the greatness of that picture?! you've got some brilliant-ness in all of your artwork but, i think that has got to be the best!

and i'm sorry for all of your pain...i hope it gets much better and very soon!

Blogger Egan said...

Mais oui. Let me cheque something out and get back to you.

.... yes, very bad.

Blogger jiggs said...

I'll be an entertainment act on your telethon. I could tell jokes and write a song about you. That would be sweet.

Blogger miss kendra said...

ashley: just you wait till i have the photoshop. i will put my head on every disabled child i see.

egan: yeah, i thought so. oh well. does this mean i have to escape across the border?

jiggs: the little man in my head just did a dance. song!

Blogger Libby said...

I will need to help you with your telethon, only if Jerry will buy me a new car.

Someone has slain the Beast.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

Why stop at disabled children? You're better than that Kendra. There are a lot of paraplegics and kids with sausage fingers that need some love too.

Anyway, sorry about the pain and the lack of pills to make it go away. Try whiskey.

Blogger miss kendra said...

libby: i'm ao sorry. is there anything that can be done to keep you out of hock?

sassy: you are so right.

i'm gonna photoshop myself onto every fucking leper and differently abled person i can find on these here internets.

as well as hotties in compromising positions.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Miz K - I'm gonna wuss out again tonite. No good excuse, just fried. I hope to be more sociable when the meds kick in (I think I need to up my dosage.) Still love me?

Blogger Beeb said...

I'm sorry. I must confess. I laughed uncontrollably when I enlarged that picture. Does that make me a bad person?

You know I love ya and I probably need more drugs than you- good thing I was taught to share so, like, come over.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Would a new logo and template make you feel better?

And I don't know who you need to screw, but I seriously hope its not Jerry.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

just you let me know, dear, what you nead photoshopped...because i am the queen of photoshop. but i don't wear those stupid hats. or do the wave. i totally don't do the wave.

now to serious matters. this is the suck. a world of suck. and i wish i could wring the necks of those stupid insurance people. and you should have fucking health insurance...just let me know if you want me to knock your employers about, as well.

perhaps it is time to contact an ambulance chaser. desperate times and all.

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Your'e going to burn

Blogger Veronica said...

Hi when is stictch and bitch???

(I'm just hiding out until Crusher splits)

TTYL!!!!!

Blogger Libby said...

Beast not in hock. Beast dead. Dead dead. Libby apparently now talking like neanderthal.

God, I really need help. Want to come have coffee in SF with me tomorrow?

Blogger jiggs said...

What do you want your song to be about?

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

I feel that way every time pepper gets sick. my income is $1000 a month and the rent is more then half that. I want a telethon too

Blogger Grend31 said...

I really need to know...

which deity currently loves you?

Because they are clearly a slackard, whom/whatever they are....

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

If you pray to jesus he will make you well.

he saved Calzone, he can do shit like that.

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

You look understandably wary of the guy in that picture and it just might be my favorite thing about it. That and the fact that you still haven't taken Kermit off of your head.

Blogger Quirkalot said...

I am so amused by this picture that I have shown a few coworkers. maybe they'll send you money! Tara says you're sick, but she LOVES you! She can't send any money, though. Sorry. I'm also close to broke for another two weeks until my next paycheck. The holidays SUCK!

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Ha-ha, that's what I say about my driver's license picture - it looks like the "before" image.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I just noticed how you have me listed on your blogroll. I love it! I totally heart you.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkey gurrrl: i guess. you better show next time. or I will find you.

beeb: if you’re a bad person for laughing, then think of where i am on that spectrum for making it. so i say no.

jewels: that would be awesome! but i don’t know what i want. i want to be able to change it up regularly, so soon, when i get the photoshop, i will have to practice.

robiewan: thank you for your kind offer. could we perhaps photoshop a human head onto the ambulance chaser?

bill the apostle: so are you. just because jake and heath can be gay cowboys doesn’t mean it’s cool for you.

veronica: good cover. let’s make out to be sure.

libby: i meant is there anyway to keep you from having to sell your limbs for something new. and i wish.

jiggs: i trust you. this could be a mistake, but whatever.

captain_howdy_girl: tell pepper to stop getting sick! geez. doesn’t she have any respect?

grend31: i’m guessing it’s a lesser one.

tinapopo: i can’t seem to get him off. which has never really been a problem for me before. i’m sure you understand. (hobo hooker)

kady's pet: holidays do suck. please, pass the picture along. maybe more people can laugh at my suffering.

armaedes: sure. driver’s license.

brooke: i work with what i’ve got.

Anonymous Ashley said...

hey-maybe someday you'll be photoshopping yer-self on top of a pic of me-for this might sound retarded but, did you know your blog is linked on Bust's girlwideweb? This made me so very proud!

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Ugh. Finally stupid blogger lets me comment. Thanks a lot blogger. Thanks. The one time it was looking like I was going to be on time to the comments party, you screw it up for me. I thought we broke up. Leave me alone.

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

Can I answer the phones in the background on your nationally televised telethon? I will brush my hair and everything! Please?
I hope you get to feeling better, it's all making me sad.

Blogger Racheal said...

I'm trying to decide if that picture is hilarious or creepy.... Hmm.

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