January 13, 2006
this just in!

my friend the reverend ray is flying in from boston tonight.

the insurance guy dealing with my car just called and said that the estimate has now been changed from $4000 to $6000. and counting.

ha ha.

ha.

in other news, some hobo hooker memed me.

which is good, because really, i got nothing. my brain is FRIED.

it's a five weird habits thing.

one: i am obsessed with tweezers. i have like seven pairs. i carry them with me everywhere. everywhere. just in case. if i discover a stray hair it must be plucked immediately or i will play with it all day, pulling it, scraping it, trying to yank it out with my fingers. and sometimes teeth.

two: i like to dip my burgers and sandwiches in ketchup instead of putting the condiment right on. it's a generally accepted fact that i use far too much ketchup.

three: i make up harmonies to songs while singing in my car and imagine singing them as duets. this is my version of a fake oscar speech.

four: i have my septum pierced and i clean it twice daily with either alcohol, peroxide, or dial. because i am afraid of it starting to smell. because it's in my nose and how awful would that be?

five: this week, being home from work, i have been watching judging amy with the zeal usually reserved for my consumption of crack cocaine. that tyne daly. i love her.



34 Comments:

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Dude - You TOTALLY have to watch Judge Alex. I so have a crush on him. As a matter of fact, no matter what I'm doing, when his show comes on, I do a little nekked happy dance.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkey gurrl: i have never heard of this judge alex. i will go investigate.

Blogger RitMeyer said...

Oh, I was sick for ever recently and became addicted to Judging amy as well.

I have a problem with the tweezing too. I have $30 tweezers from Lancomb, I swear by them.

Blogger Bonanza JellyBean said...

Ahem....excuse me, Miss kendra. Why have I not recieved a banner submission from you yet?

Blogger HizzleThizzle said...

Okay. the tweezers thing? Seriously? I dont have stray hairs. I just put my whole face in wax. Well, except my eyebrows. Because drawn on eyebrows are for blue haireds

Blogger miss kendra said...

ritmeyer: i can't stop watching. it's like she hypnotizes me with her massive mane of hair.

bonanza: baby! i'm working on it. i only have paint on my shitballs computer, so i'm trying to work up the photoshop aspect elsewhere.

hizzle: yeah, i do wax too, but the tweezers are good for weird hairs, like in moles and stuff. yeah, that's right. i have moles. just a few. also my home wax warmer died and now i need a new one, but can't afford it right now.

i need my lip waxed stat.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I also have an obsession with tweezers. I USED to have the Lancome tweezers. Shortly after 9/11 we took a girlie trip to Vegas and airport security took them away. I wept. I was in VEGAS...with NO TWEEZERS. I had to buy one in a gift shop and it sucked and there is nothing in the whole wide world worse than a tweezer that won't tweeze.
Shit. Now I'm going to need to go back to therapy.

Blogger miss kendra said...

sassy: i know! i almost lost mine in vegas too! i about died. i brought three pair, as usual, but it was the good pair that went missing.

Boy almost had me committed.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Alrighty. Now I know septum isn't a fancy word for 'taint' and I'm deeply deeply dissapointed.

My husband just read over my shoulder and said 'lovely'. yes. I am.

Blogger Brookelina said...

I do all those things. Ok, almost. #3 - I actually DO the Oscar speech. #4 - I don't have a pierced septum, but I zealously clean my ears the same way because - yuck.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

I totally understand about the tweezers thing.

Like, TO-TALLY.

Blogger Knitty Kitty said...

I'm a freak about the tweezers too... I'm the same way with my bellybutton and those really get get smelly...

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

Holy crap, I had no idea so many of us had a thing with tweezers. That is so cool! It's not like something you would go around and ask your friends.

Blogger jayfish said...

so, this seems like the tweezers thing isn't that weird of a habit. i own 4 pair myself (granted, that might be a bit odd for a guy). and dipping your burger in the ketchup is exactly what i'd do if i had room & enough condiments.

Blogger jiggs said...

6000 > 4000! Sweet tittays!

I know a lot of hamburger into ketchup dippers. You are now one of them.

Blogger Egan said...

I was under the impression one could never use too much ketchup. Fear not Miss Kendra.

Blogger Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed wants to pat Miss Kendra's kitty.

Blogger Lulu said...

I was so ashamed of my Judging Amy habit. I have worked from home since last May, and I watche Judging Amy everyday. Every. Day. I moved in with J at the end of July and tried to hide it from him for a while, but now I am fairly honest about my addiction. I just love that show. I never once watched it while it was on prime time.

Blogger miss kendra said...

jewels: it can be if you want it to. but i don't want to pierce mine. is that okay?

brooke: i used to do the oscar speech, but i've realized that my chances are far greater of singing a duet with iron and wine.

vj: thank you. i have been validated.

knitty kitty:bellybuttons should never be dirty. there is no excuse.

tumbleweed:i would ask if i thought about it. i ask all sorts of things, like do japanese furbys speak japanese and furbish? if i share this beverage with you will i get mouth herpes?

jayfish:tweezers are just as important for a guy. thank you from woman kind.

jiggs: i know. if i raised my hooker rates that much all in one fell swoop i would lose clients. maybe.

ok, probably not. i'm good.

egan: i believe you because you are canamerican.

lou reed: he might let you. if you can get him to drop the knife.

lulu: i never watched it on prime time either. and now i'm like, dammit, if only i had, maybe it would still be on!

Blogger Racheal said...

reply to #4:

One of my friends has his ears gaged and they smell like shit. I told him that, but he doesn't seem to realize how bad it is...

Smelly ears = ewww

Blogger ass2006 said...

Hi, a nice blog you have here. You will surely get an bookmark :) Forum

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

This is a nice blog you have here...I truly hope you don't go to Hell

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I have a tragus piercing and I'm totally obsessed with keeping it clean.

Your friend, the reverand ray, is a hottie.

Blogger Brookelina said...

Miss K - I can't stop thinking about your boobies.

Blogger Squid Vicious said...

I went two weeks with out my tweezers. It was rough, but I survived. Lacking fingernails caused me to tug unsuccessfully at th spiny hairs protruding from my earlobes...

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

You sound simply delicious.

Pass the ketchup, pelase!

Blogger Libby said...

I apparently neglected to comment on your post because I am retarded.

Please excuse the dorkiness of me. I am having issues.

But I SWEAR TO GOD there is a girl that I skate with that looks JUST LIKE YOU with red hair. Freaks me out.

Thought you should know. I'm stopping with the typing diarrhea now. Jesus, I embarass myself.

Blogger Egan said...

Shit, ditto what Brooke said. Damn, there she goes again stealing all my material.

Blogger Calzone said...

You worry me baby...whats up? I haven't seen your size 11's around here for a while

Blogger Zombie Lou said...

Lou Reed will work on your car for free. Lou Reed just wants to sniff your animal print shoes.

Blogger babyjewels said...

You're part of my imaginary harem. And once you are you will get the "new post please"

(actually, that's popo's line, but she's with a "client" right now)

Anonymous zero said...

1. Food is just a convenient way to ingest condiments. Fries are the pinnacle of this.

2. You're way behind in posting. Get it together!

Anonymous zero said...

Otherwise I might have to start doing some -real- work.

Blogger Egan said...

BabyJewels - I have a virtual harem. Want to join?

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