January 20, 2006
pimping my ride

so i don't even have a new car yet, but i've decided that i want to paint something on the side. i should find someone who customizes cars or does air brushing or is maybe even an artist, but probably i'll just use blue tape and spray paint.

i've narrowed it down to either a smattering of stars (semi boring, but like my tattoos), a swallow (like my tattoos), or a jolly roger.

sub question- if i do the jolly roger, will someone take offense and kill me?

i have to go berate the insurance lady now.



38 Comments:

Blogger Libby said...

Just pretend you're a pirate and say "arrr" a lot. People will probably leave you well enough alone.

:)

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Don't get the "Jolly Roger"! Pick a specific pirate flag and use that. The Jolly Roger is a bastardization of a few pirate standards.

I suggest Blackbeards' flag:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Teach

But Calico Jack's is nice:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calico_Jack

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Wow. Looking over my last few comments, I come off pretty bossy.

Sorry.

Blogger Egan said...

How did the berating go? Did you wag your finger at her? You should consider the Honda Corolla.

Blogger miss kendra said...

libby: covered.

acw: i will look at those once i summon the energy to cut and paste. because someone is apparently too good to make links.

egan: i wagged more than a finger.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I think you should paint your car with a design that reflects the essence of good and light you are - like a rainbow with unicorns or carebears, or BOTH!

Blogger jiggs said...

I think you should paint some gnomes on your car. Perhaps your car could say "rollin with my gnomies"

Blogger sock puppet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkeygurrl: BAH! unicorns have nothing to offer me! although i did have a care bear once upon a time for whom i would poorly sew sweaters. her name was aimee. i was five. don't judge.

jiggs: but i want to instill fear into the hearts of men! i want people to look at my car and decide they better be careful not to crash into it because i might pillage them and walk them off a plank.

Blogger xt said...

In my old neighborhood, there was a car on which the owner (presumably) had bondoed a whole hill and valley scene, and had an entire GI Joe battle scene set up (with real figuruines).

Perhaps you could have a pirate battle scene on yours.

Blogger Egan said...

Happy hunting, whatever it is you decide to buy. HUMMERS get extremely wonderful gas mileage in case you were wondering.

Blogger Danny said...

I'll paint it for you babe. For a bag of cheetos and a night of seduction.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I think you should create a template for you pirate art in MS Paint. I love your drawings.

Blogger Frog said...

Be Brave! :)

Blogger nefarious said...

how abt smtg w/ like a wild cat or tiger theme?? like yr lights cld be da eyes n stuff-ooooh a leopard print car???

Blogger fatwonkkid said...

You could come up with an idea in your head. Tape up your car, and spray paint it with your eyes closed. People will either think you are artsy or retarded, or both!

Blogger pestle said...

Why do birds
Suddenly appear
every time you are near?
Just like me
they long to be
close to you.

Blogger Calzone said...

just making sure that there are bad commenters over here.

Thanks for keeping it clean everyone!

;) TTYL!!!

Blogger jiggs said...

If you want to put fear into the hearts of straight men, you should cover your car in gay porn. Wait, how about gay pirate porn? You kill two birds with one stone then.

Blogger miss kendra said...

xt: so cool. i'm gonna start saving for bondo right now.

egan: ack! the only hummers i know anything about have nothing to do with gas mileage.

danny: you look ridiculous. go put some pants on. but not melliferous ones.

pants: i need luck! too bad i didn't know about this last weekend, huh?

frog: i will try, froggie.

nefarious: i used to know someone with a leopard car. it was sweet.

fatwon: people already think that.

pestle: i love you too.

calzone: you're breaking my heart, fredo. you're breaking my heart!

jiggs: excellents idea! and i can glue little candies over all the naughty bits.

Blogger Egan said...

So we're talking about hummers and not HUMMERS then? I wonder if there's a coincidence in the naming of that vehicle? Make any car purchase yet?

Blogger Brookelina said...

Ooooh...I like the idea of gay porn. Not for your car of course, just in general.

Excuse me.

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

I think a penis caught in a spikey animal trap would instill fear in many! It would be my pleasure as an artist to draw you anything your heart desires.

Blogger me said...

you should just go with the jolly roger & the stars... cuz you know... both symbols? are cool...

i think they're cool anyway.

Blogger yournamehere said...

A swallow is always better than a spit.

Blogger miss kendra said...

egan: no car yet. the check won't clear till next week, and yet they won't pay for the rental anymore. i'm pretty sure this counts as "general inconvenience."

brooke: excused.

tumbleweed: i think that's actually something reserved for serial killers. so give me a few more weeks of dealing with the insurance lady and i'll call you.

me: it also depends on what color car i get. and how much it costs.

your name here: always with the wisdom.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

i'm sorry. i just can't get beyond the "rolling with my gnomies" comment. i am officially slayed by the wit.

Blogger Calzone said...

Who the fuck would kill you over a Jolly Roger? Does Bluebeard hang out at the local 7-11 or something?

Blogger Monkey said...

I would like to paint your car with bananas. Lots of bananas.

Blogger Thérèse said...

I know someone who does that! She'll so totally give you a wicked good deal, and she's amazingly talented! I know cause I've seen!!!

Of course, she lives here, so it may be kinda tricky what with shipping and handling.

Stupid postal service.

Blogger miss kendra said...

robie: get it together woman!

calzone: shut up. what do you know about anything? you live in MAINE! i live in los angeles. my neighbor was shot! your neighbors are moose.

i win.

monkey: if you can get here, i will totally let you.

therese: maybe it would be cheaper for her to come here?

Blogger Quirkalot said...

Does the conspiracy count if they buy you drinks? I mean, some drinks have a lot of calories! P.S. I had a fun weekend.
P.P.S. I finally bought myself a new digi-cam (way more fun to say than the whole words...it almost sounds like Pokemon).

Blogger miss kendra said...

kady's pet: you're confusing people!

and yes. to drinks.

but no no no to pokemon.

Blogger Neil said...

Should I be embarrassed that I had to look up what a jolly roger was? I was visualizing something much worse.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Hm. Maybe. Prolly not. Cause she'd have to bring me. And I'd have to shop.

Blogger thephoenixnyc said...

Get the Jolley Roger and mount a brass cannon on your trunk, now THAT would be cool.

Blogger Tumbleweed said...

Okay, I had to look up Jolly Roger too. I thought it was a vibrator...damn one track mind.

Blogger miss kendra said...

neil: no way dude. i didn't know what a cleveland steamer was until this morning. i did know blumpkin, but still. and in case you're wondering, i'm preety sure those might be along the lines of much worse.

therese: i have no problems with that.

phoenixnyc: excellent idea! now if i could just buy a car.

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