gnome more waiting, gnome more puns

this was a tough competition, made all the more difficult by my inability to remain lucid while self-medicating. note to self: mixing over-the-counters does not a prescription-effect make. although it does provide some great entertainment.

(on that front, i will be visiting the orthopod tomorrow, and if he/she dares tell me there is nothing wrong, i will beat him/her to death with whatever objects I can wield using only my good arm.)

and now, the long awaited results of the second * golden state * contest:



in fifth place: we find common wombat’s “ferdinand frankel.” like wombat, i am partial to the name ferdinand. i am not sure what this says about me, or wombat, but i’m confident that it’s not good.

fourth place: dead puppy’s “al gergnome.” which coincidentally, made me go all nerdy and briefly consider “gene gnome,” before realizing that i am now officially someone my boyfriend would have beaten up in middle school. excluding, of course, the fact that i am hot and my rack would have distracted him even then. (b cup by fourth grade! holla!)

third place: is maenwyn’s “gnome chomsky.” i understand that this appears to be along the same lines as the last submission, but come on. “gnome chomsky?” rules do not apply.

second place: goes to the illustrious grend31 for “sir dimbkin punfoodle, esq.” it is pretty clear that the gnome is educated. i wasn’t sure if he was an esq or an md, but you don’t carry around books like that for no reason. it’s like we’re supposed to believe he likes to read. seriously. who reads?

and in first place, the blue ribbon, the big cheese, the head honcho, the the winner and gnamer of my gnome (not a euphemism): moocow, who introduced us to

fjorken van der bean,
riding a poorly-clipped* in sea monkey at sunrise.

obviously.

and because i do like prizes, of course there is shwag! who doesn’t like getting oddities in the mail from virtual strangers?

unfortunately, due to my current circumstances, i am unable to afford prizes or each of my winners. thus, only the cow gets a tangible prize, whilst the rest of you get my admiration. which is not for resale. even on ebay.

and what does moocow get exactly?

this awesome t-shirt, which is on its way to his door. here’s to hoping it convinces some lucky girl to make the babies.

chillin with my gnomies






*goddammit i need photoshop on this crap computer. msn paint sucks giant poo balls.