January 11, 2006
cocksuckers, every one.

everyone i met today sucks.

the parking attendant at the hospital lost my keys and i spent two and a half hours in the parking garage trying to figure out what the hell to do next.

to this, and to the insurance people who won't pay me my lost wages as they come so that i can afford my rent, i say:

this is an audio post - click to play



35 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awwwe. I'm sorry.. I think someone needs a *hug*...

- Bumble.

Blogger Monkey said...

That was a beautiful post for an icky situation. Your melodious clucking fuck like a little epelectic duck was adorable. Adorable I tell you!

Insurance people suck. Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I'm sorry you had a rotten day. Insurance people suck big, hairy, stinky balls.

If we lived in the same half of California I'd swing by with vodka and vicoden.

Blogger Beeb said...

I think you need to do more audios. So it's like you're here- even if you really aren't.

Sorry you had a sucky sucky day.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Well said.

Were I even remotely close to California I'd club the hospital parking guy in the knees for you. Cause I'm nice like that.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I'm ready to join the rebellion.

Blogger miss kendra said...

bumble: yes indeed.

monkey: epileptic duck? dammit. now i need a new secret identity.

pants: we could be gimpy and bitter together. it would be beautiful.

beeb: i am there. right behind you. boo!

wombat: thank you. his name is joe and he was on level p2.

uber: please bring cupcakes to the next meeting.

Blogger #0 said...

I guess its safe to say that i'm glad I didnt cross ur path today :)

Blogger Libby said...

KENDRA! I had the volume on my computer up all the way. LOL

Anyway - who's Kristy?

Blogger Tel said...

Those assholes. Those CSMF's!

Blogger Egan said...

Canada checking in - I love your French mademoiselle. Your use of the f word makes me weak in the knees. Sounds like you had a groovy day.

Blogger Ms. Pepper LeDog said...

well said miss k

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

that last comment was from me, Pepper wants to say "ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!"

Blogger TinaPoPo said...

Uh, Miss Kendra, perhapds next time you decide to go on an expletive-filled audioblogging rage, you could label it with an NSFW. That way certain readers don't open it at top volume in the middle of their workplace, which just happens to be a pediatric office.

ha ha! I hope today is better for you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Really? 9 fucks? That seems like a lot. Are you sure it wasn't an 8 fuck day?

Blogger Calzone said...

You say cocksucker like its a bad thing.

Hey..I'm offing myself today. I'll miss your big toes

Blogger Fred said...

big toes? awesome.

i advise you learn the way of the "judo chop" and next time someone gets in your way just chop 'em in the windpipe and watch them roll around on the floor trying to breath. but thats just me.

Blogger HizzleThizzle said...

Well FUCK! My kids were in the room.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Sorry you had a crap ass day. I know exactly how you feel. Your swearing solution is obviously an excellent beginning. Next, I suggest crossing the street at rush hour very, very slowly. While wearing the neckbrace. That will piss people off, and keep you alive.

Remember to scream "suck it trebek" to anyone who tried to "help" you.

Blogger miss kendra said...

0: you probably should be. i am not was not pleased.

libby: did you click the link? she's a blogger/knitter in that area. shewalks.blogspot.com

tel: i know. thank you for the validation.

egan: i was going to a do a string of unrelated naughtiness, but that's just what came out. my french has never been better.

pepper and howdygirl: are you messing with me? send pepper to help me kick some booty.

popo: yeah. didn't think of that. oops.

acw: it was atleast nine.

possible nine thousand.

calzone: get back here you bitch and explain yourself. tell damned he better still hang around then.

fred: good plan. come teach me. bring ocho.

hizzle: SORRY! i am terrible. tell them i am a naughty girl and i can't have dessert for a month.

or tell them i said fork but with a canadian accent.

Blogger miss kendra said...

therese: mmm hmm. can't wait.

suck it trebek!

hahahaha!

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Hmmm . . . sure wish I hadn't clicked on that audio post in the middle of a crowded office. Whoops.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I'm sorry that you had the kind of day that makes you wish caning people was socially acceptable. :(

Blogger babyjewels said...

Best. Audio. Post. Ever.

Blogger Egan said...

Throw in a "fils de pute" and that should do the trick. That loosely translates to "your mother is a hampster". Enjoy.

Blogger miss kendra said...

armaedes: yeah, i fucked up. sorry.

sassy: you are my soul's calamine lotion. soothe me. keep talking lady.

jewels: thank you.

egan: well that explains her quiet fling with richard gere.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Fuck. Mean people suck. You're an epileptic duck. Who's run outta luck. Wanna ride in my truck? Its covered in muck. But it didn't get stuck. We can run over Chuck. And turn tricks for a buck.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkey gurrl: are you okay? do you need one of my pills?

Blogger Thérèse said...

I like Egan's approach; giving you more words. Other fun and useful French words to know how to say:

salut, péripatéticienne (sah-loo, pay-ree-pah-tay-tee-ssyen)

salope (sal-op)

bec mon culs (beck moe coo)

va chier espèce de baveux/baveuse (vah she-ay es-pes duh bah-voo/vooz)

va te faire foutre (vah tuh fay-r foo-tr)


And all of them are a variation of "fuck off."

Blogger Egan said...

Thérèse - I just learned a couple new ones myself grâce à toi. Merci!

Blogger xt said...

OOOh, poor Miss K. Don't worry -- by the time we finish with them, they'll be sorry. Remember, in the immortal words of Cher (Clueless), I'm a lawyer. A litigator. That's the scariest kind.

Ask Auntie Sassy. She'll tell you I'm scary.

Blogger miss kendra said...

therese: i now have ultimate power.

canadia rules.

egan: see, now you wish you were canadian.

xt: litigate! please! i needs to pay the rents!

Blogger Egan said...

I'm a Closet Canadian darling.

Blogger jiggs said...

How did I miss this post.

The insurance people you speak of fill me with rage. Impotent rage as usual, but rage nonetheless.

Blogger Squid Vicious said...

This audio post sounds like an EXCELLENT idea for this next weekend's activities...

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