January 11, 2006

i am a writer, crafter, and professional burlesque dancer. i like pineapples. i have two jewish cats. also i smell like cookies and i will use this to my advantage when i take over the world.
send mail here!
click your shoes together three times (or just click here) to return home.
more dizzy von damn!
my flickr.
progress towards world domination:
seems genuine and fiery
brilliant and heartbreaking
makes me pulse inside
my reason for being
so handsome i think i might die
rowr
the captain of us all
i just like him, ok?
is all class
35 Comments:
Awwwe. I'm sorry.. I think someone needs a *hug*...
- Bumble.
That was a beautiful post for an icky situation. Your melodious clucking fuck like a little epelectic duck was adorable. Adorable I tell you!
Insurance people suck. Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck Suck.
I'm sorry you had a rotten day. Insurance people suck big, hairy, stinky balls.
If we lived in the same half of California I'd swing by with vodka and vicoden.
I think you need to do more audios. So it's like you're here- even if you really aren't.
Sorry you had a sucky sucky day.
Well said.
Were I even remotely close to California I'd club the hospital parking guy in the knees for you. Cause I'm nice like that.
I'm ready to join the rebellion.
bumble: yes indeed.
monkey: epileptic duck? dammit. now i need a new secret identity.
pants: we could be gimpy and bitter together. it would be beautiful.
beeb: i am there. right behind you. boo!
wombat: thank you. his name is joe and he was on level p2.
uber: please bring cupcakes to the next meeting.
I guess its safe to say that i'm glad I didnt cross ur path today :)
KENDRA! I had the volume on my computer up all the way. LOL
Anyway - who's Kristy?
Those assholes. Those CSMF's!
Canada checking in - I love your French mademoiselle. Your use of the f word makes me weak in the knees. Sounds like you had a groovy day.
well said miss k
that last comment was from me, Pepper wants to say "ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!"
Uh, Miss Kendra, perhapds next time you decide to go on an expletive-filled audioblogging rage, you could label it with an NSFW. That way certain readers don't open it at top volume in the middle of their workplace, which just happens to be a pediatric office.
ha ha! I hope today is better for you. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Really? 9 fucks? That seems like a lot. Are you sure it wasn't an 8 fuck day?
You say cocksucker like its a bad thing.
Hey..I'm offing myself today. I'll miss your big toes
big toes? awesome.
i advise you learn the way of the "judo chop" and next time someone gets in your way just chop 'em in the windpipe and watch them roll around on the floor trying to breath. but thats just me.
Well FUCK! My kids were in the room.
Sorry you had a crap ass day. I know exactly how you feel. Your swearing solution is obviously an excellent beginning. Next, I suggest crossing the street at rush hour very, very slowly. While wearing the neckbrace. That will piss people off, and keep you alive.
Remember to scream "suck it trebek" to anyone who tried to "help" you.
0: you probably should be. i am not was not pleased.
libby: did you click the link? she's a blogger/knitter in that area. shewalks.blogspot.com
tel: i know. thank you for the validation.
egan: i was going to a do a string of unrelated naughtiness, but that's just what came out. my french has never been better.
pepper and howdygirl: are you messing with me? send pepper to help me kick some booty.
popo: yeah. didn't think of that. oops.
acw: it was atleast nine.
possible nine thousand.
calzone: get back here you bitch and explain yourself. tell damned he better still hang around then.
fred: good plan. come teach me. bring ocho.
hizzle: SORRY! i am terrible. tell them i am a naughty girl and i can't have dessert for a month.
or tell them i said fork but with a canadian accent.
therese: mmm hmm. can't wait.
suck it trebek!
hahahaha!
Hmmm . . . sure wish I hadn't clicked on that audio post in the middle of a crowded office. Whoops.
I'm sorry that you had the kind of day that makes you wish caning people was socially acceptable. :(
Best. Audio. Post. Ever.
Throw in a "fils de pute" and that should do the trick. That loosely translates to "your mother is a hampster". Enjoy.
armaedes: yeah, i fucked up. sorry.
sassy: you are my soul's calamine lotion. soothe me. keep talking lady.
jewels: thank you.
egan: well that explains her quiet fling with richard gere.
Fuck. Mean people suck. You're an epileptic duck. Who's run outta luck. Wanna ride in my truck? Its covered in muck. But it didn't get stuck. We can run over Chuck. And turn tricks for a buck.
monkey gurrl: are you okay? do you need one of my pills?
I like Egan's approach; giving you more words. Other fun and useful French words to know how to say:
salut, péripatéticienne (sah-loo, pay-ree-pah-tay-tee-ssyen)
salope (sal-op)
bec mon culs (beck moe coo)
va chier espèce de baveux/baveuse (vah she-ay es-pes duh bah-voo/vooz)
va te faire foutre (vah tuh fay-r foo-tr)
And all of them are a variation of "fuck off."
Thérèse - I just learned a couple new ones myself grâce à toi. Merci!
OOOh, poor Miss K. Don't worry -- by the time we finish with them, they'll be sorry. Remember, in the immortal words of Cher (Clueless), I'm a lawyer. A litigator. That's the scariest kind.
Ask Auntie Sassy. She'll tell you I'm scary.
therese: i now have ultimate power.
canadia rules.
egan: see, now you wish you were canadian.
xt: litigate! please! i needs to pay the rents!
I'm a Closet Canadian darling.
How did I miss this post.
The insurance people you speak of fill me with rage. Impotent rage as usual, but rage nonetheless.
This audio post sounds like an EXCELLENT idea for this next weekend's activities...
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