i know this because i may or may not have pooped approximately 3418756 times in the last three to four days. my stomach feels like a cement mixer. words like coagulate, congeal,and vomit come to mind. tiny somersaulting hate bugs are colonizing my digestive system. there are aliens on earth and they are in my belly right this very moment.
i actually drank a GRAPE flavored gatorade, which is pretty much unheard of. it's like a jew eating a bacon double cheeseburger. it's just not done. let the smiting begin.
i think boon has a cold, as his nose appears to be running (complete with crusty little cat boogers) and he's all sneezie and with the funy breathing. he probably has the bird flu. i always end up with defective pets. he still hasn't eaten that i'm aware of, though i may have intruded upon him exorcising his hate bugs this morning. i was tempted to take a picture. would that have been too much?
i get to leave work early today, and then i don't have to return till january third. i will still be here (on the internets) i think though, as i have not much to do other than knit, work on some other martha-type projects, and you know, poop. it might help me jump start my resolution to lose some pounds.
i'm pretty sure i could poop ten pounds by the new year at this rate.
which brings up an interesting question...
if one were to weigh their poop, would they go directly on the scale, or remove it from the toilet bowl? and if removed from the bowl, would the poops have to be dried so as not to corrupt the numbers with "water weight?"
this is fascinating stuff people. pulitzer prize.
i have pooped twice during the writing of this post,
which was begun at 10:52 a.m. pst