"the time has come," the walrus said,
"to talk of many things:
of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax-
of cabbages- and kings—
and why the sea is boiling hot-
and whether pigs have wings."
don’t worry. i’m not going to eat you with a loaf of bread and a nice bordeaux. i’d like to, and i’m sure the majority of you would be rather tasty, but i like vodka and the whole vodka/people thing just doesn’t sit right.
that can mean only one thing. i got another cat!
i kid, i kid. Boy would murder me. and not in the choke-me-a-little-because-it-feels-good, ooh yeah don’t stop kind of way.
you may remember a little thing called the cow by any other name contest, and its result, the beatific and unimitable reverend barfolomew frumpkin lee.
and you may be familiar with a little interest (preoccupation? obsession?) of mine called gnomes (see September 20). they give my life meaning, and it’s not just me. crazy aunt purl finds them intriguing as well. we have exemplary taste in folk creatures.
so! today marks day one of
i will (as i do) send prizes to the winner/winners, which will clearly be the best prizes EVER because i rule. and also because i like to buy weird stuff and send it to people!
i have provided here some photographic evidence of the gnome’s existence. please use it to your advantage when choosing his new moniker, as he will be residing in my office and thus should maybe not be named anything like, “shithead,” “fuckface,” or “bob.”
gnow gname that gnome!