December 02, 2005
don't fear the firefox

i got a new computer at work. it's less crappy than the other one, but not by much.

its one redeeming characteristic is that i can now use mozilla firefox instead of bill gates's demon spawn internet explorer.

that's what i thought anyway, until i realized that the firefox is a terrifying beast of epic proportions, watching my every move. and someone who watches your every move is almost always plotting against you. in my experience.

which is vast.

behold, the clear and incriminatory evidence supporting my wild claims:



i mean, really, just look at those razor sharp claws! and the blood dripping from his teeth! he's clearly a killer.



good grief! it appears that he's fashioned some sort of shiv! run for your lives!



ok. i'm tired. bring on the weekend.



18 Comments:

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

As much as I am anti-Evil Empire (as I contracted there for a while and barely made it out with my soul), the fact of the matter is that the Firefox explorer sucks my ass.

There. I've said it.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

I'll gladly risk taking a shiv between the ribs for the joys of tabbed browsing.

Aaaaand THERE'S a sentence I bet has never been uttered before...

Blogger miss kendra said...

i didn't even notice that my google search for kelly carlson is in the corner there.

also forgot to mention that i met monkeygurrl. she's not a monkey as her picture insinuates, which was somewhat disturbing. but she might be able to help me find a dogsitter, so i will let the whole 1.5% dna difference slide.

this time.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

When you tell a joke I find amusing, I'm laughing on the INSIDE. Similarly, I'm monkey on the inside. Besides, I was hopped up on 3 different kinds of medications just to get my scaredy-cat arse over there!

I would like to see Firefox sucking Aunt Sassy's arse. Just for reference. You know.

Blogger Libby said...

a) Please call xHibit immediately. I need help with my ride. It's held together with duct tape and a prayer.

b)There's another browser besides IE? I probably would self-destruct if I used it, as Satan's son signs my paychecks. That's all I'm sayin'.

c) Send help. People have gone insane from the "white stuff" that fell from the sky YESTERDAY. It appears to have contained some sort of mind-altering substance, causing them all to run around the building like crazy people, forget their manners, invade my personal bubble, and generally act like a bunch of a-holes.

Send Calzone. That would help immensely.

Blogger xt said...

Oooh, Firefox is so wonderful. Nary a pop-up, and you can use stumbleupon, which if you haven't already tried? Internet CRACK.

Blogger Frog said...

I wish i was a firefrog

Blogger miss kendra said...

stumbleupon is so beautiful, i think i might take it to vegas and marry it.

Boy can stay withthe dog.

Blogger babyjewels said...

Maybe I should be using it more. I've been using safari and I can't view all the bells and whistles on my own blog, let alone what I'm missing on other peeps. And are we sure that is a fox and not a squirrel? seriously, I'm freaked out.

Blogger Southernspeak4 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Southernspeak4 said...

Hahaha, one more TIME...that's what I get for rushed, driveby posting (apparently while on crack)...I backspaced extra words and backspaced off the entire beginning part of my post!

Trying again, but it's lost it's luster...and the joke was marvelous, MARVELOUS, I tell you.

Here it is....


wait for it.....






A shiv? What are you, in prison again or something? What did you expect when you strangled that man over a pair of shoes, independence and freedom?

No, no need for applause, but I thank you.

Blogger Racheal said...

Foxs with shivs scare me...

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

scary...

Blogger Crabby Maxine said...

Your blog makes me laugh out loud. I found it through Southern's. Great stuff!!!

Blogger Thérèse said...

When you post stuff like this, it makes me laugh in a way that makes me think that in a previous life, if I wasn't your stalker, I wanted to be.

Which is an awful lot like this life, actually.

Blogger Jürgen Nation said...

Ooooh, Firefox is AWESOME. Make sure you download "BugMeNot"!!!!

Blogger me said...

foxes rule. flamming foxes are much better. their slyness is magnified... hence the greatness of being a fox

off topic. did you by any chance recieve the unnecessarily revealing email i sent?

:D

Blogger Chris said...

Best part of Firefox = extensions! My favorite is Nuke Anything Enhanced - it lets you right click on something (annoying flashing ad, sidebar that's messing up printing a knitting pattern, etc) and remove the object.

Very fun to remove pesky objects.

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