December 21, 2005
destiny brought us together

points of business before actual bloggerie:

1. gwen stefani is pregnant. i know she is excited, as she has been singing about it for the last 3 albums. i am excited because she might actually go inside for a while and put some clothes on. i have what could amount to a whole post to say about her, but really, it's mostly big words and psychological crap. and who needs that?

2. if you have not yet submitted a gname for the gnome, or if you have further brilliance (or stupidity) to share, please either scroll down or go here and do so.


and now... destiny brought us together

boon is my soulmate.

i know this now.

i know this with every fiber of my being, but mostly with the hand that holds the pooper scooper. the empty pooper scooper. i have found a few cakes of pee in the clumping litter, but as of yet, there has been no el poopo.

it's probably because he hasn't eaten since friday morning (i'm not worried. nope. not worried. not at all. i'm just anxious and jittery from all the cocaine! ha!), but i still consider it a miracle. i mean, how often do you find a companion whose faerie system is so compatable with your own? it's hard work what they do, and this just makes it easier. i try to do whatever i can to make the lives of others better, like using a turn signal, washing my hands regularly, holding doors, baking healthful and delicious treats, and if need be, not pooping for days on end.

of course, sometimes the faeries need an excuse to stick around for a while (right now they are holed up in my apartment waiting for big after christmas sales). that's when i really put in effort, sometimes requiring their presence up to even or eight times a day. they bring gatorade and pedialyte pops on those days because, as you know, faeries are way considerate.

come to think of it, pickles really doesn't eat much either. i'm concerned that maybe there's some sort of pro-ana pet site they have access too.

thinspiration?



20 Comments:

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Boon just wants to make sure he keeps his boyish figger attractive for you. Don't want to be hanging around with a fat cat, do ya?! hee,hee. He is the Not Pickles!

Blogger melissa.in.london said...

The Urban Dictionary. Didn't know it existed. Thanks.

And, the equation was hilarious!

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkeygurrrl: he has one of those saggy cat bellies already. i would say he needs a tummy tuck, but i love it. cat fat is good.

melissa<: urban dictionary is a wonderful thing. i've learned many many things, like blumpkin.
hot. way hot.

Blogger Tel said...

Just wait until his nerves calm down. He'll be a poopin' machine!

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

The funny thing about fat cats is when they stop being fat they get that hangie down belly (yes, that is the scientific term). My cat Gretzky actually has to swing her belly to one side before she lays down to get it out of the way.

Blogger babyjewels said...

I just heard about Gwennies pregnancy and also that, get this, Gavin has a secret love child! Forgive me if you've already heard this, but I just learned it. And I love celeb. gossip. It fills all my empty places. (insert vibrator joke here)

Whatever the opposite of pro-ana is. That's me. Wanna have some oreos?

Blogger miss kendra said...

tel: i can't wait. really. i love scoopin' poo.

sassy: some cats just have hangie down bellies. it's genetic, just like some girls have normal boobs and some have pie sized areolas.

babyjewels: i did know of the love child. i also suspect he has a wandering eye.

i will gladly eat oreos with you. come on over, i'll be home in an hour.

Blogger Monkey said...

Oh dear me. Boon needs to come over and teach our kitty Kiera a thing or two. She is obsessed with food. Obsessed I tell you! Sometimes I think she will kill me in my sleep and eat me.

I'm sleepy...

Blogger Monkey said...

P.S. I also need a poop faerie. Please. Thank you.

Blogger Ron, apparently said...

Frankly, it's incredible how little I give a flying fuck about anything to do with Gwen Banana and her ex-rock star fellow.Merry christmas.

Blogger Ron, apparently said...

Frankly, it's incredible how little I give a flying fuck about anything to do with Gwen Banana and her ex-rock star fellow.Merry christmas.

Blogger miss kendra said...

monkey: the faerie is handy indeed. i think keira should teach boon how to like food! he's a little gaunt, i think. maybe that's because i'm used to looking at pickles, who is oh, maybe 55 pounds heavier.

but a slim 55 pounds. really.

ron: apparently! well, some people like her music and some people think she's hot, and i'm a people pleaser. sorry to have offended you so much that you felt the need to complan twice.

Blogger jiggs said...

On the good ship lollipop.
Its a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where bon-bons play
On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay.

Blogger nefarious said...

my cat jade tried to sneak in thru the window once, but she cldnt- her fat stomach got stuck... she's still preety tho.

Anonymous beeb said...

gwen and i have that in common.



ah, just kidding but when it does happen- i'll auntie kendri know.

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Wow, that's unusual. I personally have been known to take a dump up to a dozen times per day.

Blogger Jesster said...

Hee hee.

Blogger miss kendra said...

jiggs: you have raised the bar.

nefarious: there's something about a fat cat that's just appealing. is it the way the bed moves when they get in with you?

beeb: you better not tell me through my comments.

armaedes: i have on occasion pooped a dozen times in a day. but i was crying the whole time. mostly because i hadn't pooped for most of the month before that.

jesster: indeed.

Blogger fae said...

I am so happy about boone. looks cute. take care and ask if you have any questions. I work at a vet. am a tech. only cats. although I know dogs well too

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