November 01, 2005
screw you guys, i'm going home.

it will probably take you a while to process these pictures, (i know i still don't get them) which is fine and dandy by me. i'm feeling a little subpar today, and not much like blogging, so the fact that this picture is difficult to comprehend just gives me some extra time to regain my natural sense of whimsy and you know, will to live.

this past sunday, i stopped in to a craft store to pick up a set of knitting needles. simple, apparently this store caters to babies, because they only had teenie tiny sizes. i need bulk, people. i can barely knit as is. i certainly won't be making any complex miniature lacey items in the near future.

a visual aid:

the frustration i felt would normally have been manageable, but it was exacerbated by the abomination of a knitting book by the register. this horror nearly killed me. some of its many (many, many. many.) atrocities:

the quasimoto look is hot this season.
hunchbacks are the new black.


the sparkles made her eyes hurt
and now they're stuck that way.

where are their necks?
and why are they all wearing leather pants?

this one is so far gone they
didn't bother with pants at all.

the only part of my visit to the store that was good and right was the disembodied head of a pbs star. and there's a phrase you don't get to hear too often.

i heart bob ross.


Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

w00t! I'm at work late and I get to see your post as it's posted! w00t w00t!

Um, but I also have a request. That mane-cone thing? Can I get one of those? I have this injury on my foot that I can't stop licking.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

HAH-HAH!!! You went to PEARL for *KNITTING* stuff?! And you thought I was crazy to look for wool at Wally-World. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hey, really? Get a set of Denise needles from Stitches. They are the *best* (once you get over that whole "plastic is a cheap substitute for real material" hang-up that I was blessed with). Then you have every size OVER 5 that you will ever need. I just got a set and have been forever converted.

As for a LYS, please let me know if you ever find something convenient and *affordable* in the La Cienega/Pico/Fairfax quandrant. Suss is a bit out of my budget, and the Valley just seems so far away and ominous.

Word Verif: RX UGLEO. Like, a prescription for UGLYness?!

Blogger Libby said...

Smaller needles = finer fabric.

Smaller needles (also) = cramped fingers and lots of cussing.

Libby's house = lots of small needles.

Hmm. I may have found the root of all evil.

Blogger Calzone said...

Ever since you joined knit and bitch you are such a freaking snob.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

I think calzone's a bit jealous. Why don't you knit him something, like a muzzle?

Blogger Calzone said...

Dude..ever since you started doing the triple back cross you act like you're the shit.

Blogger Calzone said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger Monkey said...

Oh my! Those outfits are abominations indeed! Terrifying at their best. Tiny needles sound like hell to me. I have no thumbs so I stick to the cut 3 holes method, (one for my head and 2 for my arms).

Blogger Monkey said...

P.S. Calzone is jealous and has actually taken up knitting since he found out that you knit. (He's really a lemming when it comes to these things.)

Blogger Monkey said...

OK... this is humiliating, because I can't find an email address, I will put my measurements here.

My waist is 12"

Waist to hoo hah is 4"

Waist to tail is 6"

Measurement from leg to leg in the front is 4"
Measurement from leg to leg in the back is 8"

Tail is in the middle.

Outer legs from waist is 6"

Inseam is 2"

As you can see, my dimensions are highly suspect, thus the difficulties I have in finding PANTS! I am a size preemie to size newborn on the top. That is fairly easy. Thank you so very much for taking this project on. Email me and I will give you my address. What can I send to you in return????

Love and Cuddles,

Blogger karla said...

I would do anything to have that big cardboard head in my house. ANYTHING!

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

The rowr is absolutely horrifying.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

What kind of self respecting yarn store doesn't have size 8 needles on hand? Size 8 needles are magical needles. I know a knitter who refuses to buy anything else. She bought one pair of size 8's and alters every project that she works on so that she can use them.

And those shirts are absolutely hilarious. I recently...RECENTLY...saw a knitting book at Weaving Works that had a BELLY SWEATER...on the COVER. Excuse my overuse of ALL-CAPS...but SERIOUSLY. I threw up a little bit on their berroco and ran out of the store crying.


Blogger ladylinoleum said...

Love Bob Ross...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had to actually look up who bob ross is. Ah, I remember now..."happy trees".

Oh, give Teva Durham a chance! Not all her patterns are out of Mad Max (beyond the thunderdome). I have the loop-d-loop book and many of the patterns are incredible.

my verification word is grmov - I'm sure I've had that one before. Weird.

Blogger Frog said...

I think I need a new scarf. Can you help?

Blogger Quirkalot said...

I'd ask you to knit something for me, but I live in the sticky swampland known as South Florida. Maybe in February I could use a very light scarf.

Hey, remember how heavily involved we got in karaoke? Something about your new found passion for knitting reminds me of that, except now you're making stuff.

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

a dead pbs star at that.

so, i second the denise interchangeable suggestion. they are teh sex of knitting needles. also? don't write off the leetle needles. when you cross the great divide (not as scary as at seems) into double points, you'll want some bamboo ones for the socks you'll be knitting. yes, socks. because they are more damn fun than you can shake a stick at.

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

I totally remember that painting guy from when I was a kid. My mom watched him all the time.

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