problem number one: i am being stalked by a partridge.
it's true. i've lived in los angeles for over a year, and everytime someone asks me if i've seen celebrities (which people who aren't from here often do), i have to tell them,
"sure. i saw drusilla, who was very nice and who mailed my mom her autograph, and um, sharon osbourne for like a second (she's VERY small), and ummmmmm, danny bonaduce, like thirty five times.
hey, there he is now."
i have seen him at this one sushi place (yes, it's true. i like sushi. sorry.) and also in the hollywood/highland complex and most recently, after stitch n bitch, at the coffee bean and tea leaf.
so it's pretty apparent that he loves me. and rightly so... but to follow me around pretending to do some show i skind of sad. not as sad as that book he wrote
but still sad.
problem number two: Boy and i are supposed to go to las vegas next month for four days. unfortunately, we have not yet found a person to come house/dog sit for us, which means we may not be able to go. *sigh*
we can't board the dog because he's INSANE and would absolutely positively DIE of utter and complete DESPAIR and ANGUISH the VERY MOMENT we left his sight. and we can't send him off to someone's home, even though there have been offers because of all the peeing. it's a very serious problem.
problem number three: i want these shoes.
total cost: about $1000.
which leads me to my new found career as a professional problem solver.
i will now be accepting donations, which should help me to pay off my soul-crushing debt, but will probably be use to buy shoes. or you could just all chip in and buy them for me for chrismakkuh, whichever.
the whole dog/vegas thing is less easily solved. i have asked all the people i feel reasonably confident about leaving alone in my apartment with all my belongings and my dog. it was a short list. there are panty sniffers out there, you know.
the list got shorter when i remembered i live in the ghetto and should try to choose someone who could be expected to live through the weekend.
i've tried everything. there's only one thing i can do.