November 09, 2005
phase one: complete

right now, in front of my computer screen, i am doing the shimmy shake. naked.

ok, maybe i'm not shaking my shimmy or whatever. but i'm totally naked.

me. miss kendra. naked.

naked naked naked.

it's what the people want!

*sniff* this is one of my proudest moments.

notice i was NUMBER TWO.* despite the fact that this is far better than being number three (so sorry, kendra jade. looks like the people want MY boobies!), it's still not number one. and it's not google, so like, what the fuck?

this was phase one of my plan for blog domination. it is now complete. the next step is to get the search for my nakedness on google.

but no!

i should think bigger than that! i want my nakedness on the very first page of google! i want to be what people get when they click "i'm feeling lucky!"

that didn't come out right. oh well.

anyway, this is our mission. i'm thinking of having tshirts made. is there a demand for such things? let's see:

a ringer tee that reads:

in men's and women's sizes,
because seriously, my hawtness knows no gender lines.

a cotton thong that says:

this could be a banana hammock too!

and a onesie, for the littlest fans:

* and, incidentally, number five. rock on!


Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

*wiping the tears away* It could be a banana hammock.

Aw heck. Sign me up for the onesie. I'll go home tonight and get me some and have a stupid kid just so that I can advertise for you.

You see? My dedication to your cause knows no bounds.

Blogger babyjewels said...

hilarious. I totally want a onesie - now I just need a baby to put it in.

Blogger Frog said...

OMG! Naked Humans!
Glad at least I'm wearing shots :)

Blogger JenL said...

I would totally dress Bug in the onesie.

Blogger Grend31 said...

I'm sick, achy, and generally pissed off at the world. And yet as I read this I could not resist it.. I smiled. You spoiled a perfectly rotten funk Miss Kendra, shame on you.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

:) I wanna see you and Calzone nekked on google. Now THAT would really be sumpthin.

Blogger Calzone said...

I'm naked in front of my computer screen too. I feel so dirty, like a part of me that I had hidden away is so open for everyone to see. That has probably more to do with the fat lady porn I have open in the other window though. Or the fact that I'm sitting on a chair made of nails.

Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I didn't think Dragon's could feel anything because they're dead inside.

I don't think life is worth living without a i may be wearing panties, but miss kendra's naked on google! thong.

Blogger Libby said...

Wait. Who's naked? I'm confused.

I joke. I may like the popping butt zits video, but I'm not stupid....

Blogger Calzone said...

Sorry I didn't invite you for the unprovoked attack. I hate to say it but, you seem nice.

I'll know better next time.

Blogger Thérèse said...

Miss Kendra, you slay me, I love your perspective and the fact that you're naked and love it. Be my friend.

(pause) Okay, that so totally came out sounding all kinds of wrong.

(pause) Excellent!

Blogger CommonWombat said...

I'm jealous. The best I got was some dude who found me searching for
"Man fit in hotel room and make sex at picture."


I say again, HUH?

Yours wins by a long shot.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Wait a minute! Someone found MY blog by searching for Kendra Naked. I don't know how. Maybe it's because I have pictures of you naked on my blog.

Just kidding.

It's actually my mom.

Oh geez. I just weirded myself out.

Blogger Übermilf said...

I will help out in any way I can.

I don't like thongs, though.

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

You know what terrifies me? When I google 'naked Valancy Jane' lots of my FRIEND'S sites show up before mine does. Hmmmmm.

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