October 24, 2005
crazy with a side of crazy

i am crazy. case in point:

this webgame, called unconscious mutterings, that gives you a word and you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. no changing your answers, no time to think. the words for this week are
nice person
settle down
a year from now

so that you completely not-crazy people can have time to think about your own assuredly un-crazy responses, i will tell you now about my weekend.

steps to recreating miss kendra's weekend:
1. procure sexy boyfriend who just purchased new motorcycle.
2. make chicken pot pie* while sexy boyfriend goes out for quick ride.
3. sit around anxiously when pot pie is done and sexy boyfriend hasn't returned.
4. throw up a little in mouth when sexy boyfriend arrives with bloody hand and broken helmet.
5. help sexy boyfriend take cracked side of bike apart and listen to story of EvilCabbieFromHellWhoEvilyCutsOffMotorcyclesBecauseHeIsEvil.
6. sleep.
7. wake up, eat cheerios. and corn chex.
8. go to bank. feel defeated (and poor) when bank will not deposit check because old landlord wrote wrong name.
9. go to wacko soap plant and buy this towel.

10. go to costume shop. get followed around because you appear to be very suspicious and it's probable that you will abscond with fake blood and/or vampire teeth. also get touched on the butt by older curiously shaped woman.
11. get 6.5 inches of hair cut off, on a whim, by irish lady in orange pants at supercuts. discuss the finer points of clive owen, lumberjacks, and firemen.

pay no attention to the silly look on this girl's face. only look at her hair. her cute cute hair.

12. go home. clean. drink. clean. drink. drink.
12.5. drink.
13. be drunk. take pictures of feet.

14. sleep.
15. wake up, eat cheerios.
16. eat more cheerios.
17. do boring housewifey stuff like food shopping and the roasting of the roast beast.
18. watch really fucking good movie. ))<>((
19. watch tv.
20. sleep.

there was also some sex, which is really the only part (besides the movie) that you should try to reenact. and you can try, but fair warning, you will fail. i've got moves and you don't know them. unless we've had sex before, in which case... um, hi? how'd you get here? when will you be leaving?

and now here are my answers to the "unconscious mutterings" which prove beyond a reasonable doubt that i am certifiably insane.
infiltration--mountain dew
nice person--dumb
settle down--story time
thomas--english muffin
a year from now--dead
dripping--the clap

thank you. that will be all.

*instructions sold seperately.


Blogger Frog said...

I think those feet tattoos are wonderful.

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

I agree with Frog, and I like the new do. And I'm sorry that you were felt up by the gamey lady. And I want to know what the heck you were purchasing at the Costume Shop. C’mon. Just tell Auntie Sassy. I’ll give you some candy. C’mon.

Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Nice tat.

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

*LOVE* the sassy haircut!! And I feel your (and the boyfriend's) pain. I ride, and since moving to LA, I've noticed I ride A LOT less (thankfully, I have an alternative). Thank the gods there was just some road burn and not more serious damage. Make sure Boyfriend gets a new helmet.

Blogger Calzone said...

Hair looks cool, feet are sexy and I love touching girls asses in the store

Blogger robiewankenobie said...

gee, and i thought i had [edited for content] all figured out.

Blogger tara said...

Hey! I randomly got lots of hair cut this weekend also (but from JC Penny) and ate cheerios..and had sex...and cleaned and drank...perhaps we're just a split personality or something...

Anonymous laurie said...

Dear Kendra,
Please come to snb on Thursday. Please?

Your friend,
Girl who said "smegma"

Blogger Mister Underhill said...

For some reason every one of those words made me think of penetration. Mmm. Dripping penetration.

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Haircut's cute,
Tats are neat,
And you gots
Some purty feet.

Your blog is always
Such a joy.
You have such a
Lucky Boy.

-Sorry, felt rhymey..
-See you next timey!

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Common Wombat makes me want to cry.

Sounds like you had a great weekend. I won't rhyme about it.

Blogger captain_howdy_girl said...

love the tats

Blogger Tel said...

Hey! Did you delete my graphic comment?

Blogger miss kendra said...

i NEVER delete comments. unless they are spam.




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