September 01, 2005
stop the world-- i want to get off

he thinks i am being open and honest, but really i say these things so we won't talk about other ones.

i don’t tell him that i know what kind and how many to take. i don't tell him sometimes i cry when i wake up because, fuck all... i woke up. i don’t tell why my arm is black and blue when he asks, because how do you explain to someone normal what it’s like to be so empty inside that you feel like you’re just skin? to be so wilted that you bash your own arm against the dresser again and again and again because you feel like you have no bones, because you need to see if you will break?


don't worry, lonely reader. that's from something i wrote a long time ago. but i'm feeling rather worthless today.

tomorrow will be better.



11 Comments:

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Sometimes I'm amazed at how many people can feel so lonely at the same time. Life before would have definitely been different if I had known I wasn't the only one who felt alone.

Anonymous Squiggle said...

Oh please oh please oh please don't be so sad! It makes my heart ache. I am compelled to make it all better, but I don't know what I could possibly do! You are full to the brim with worth, there isn't room in you for more! You are too full of life to feel empty, it is just not allowed.

Boy, if you are reading this, you need to call and we need to discuss.

Blogger MooCow said...

Word.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are NOT alone....i AM here. Love Love Love Love Love Love. Boy

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you mean "priceless"

Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

Kendra, you make me laugh every day that you don't make me cry. It's no one's job to feel happy all of the time, everybody has these days. Just remember that you have literally ten's of adoring fans that read what you have to say every single day and we are here, in some way or another.
*kisses*

Anonymous Squiggle said...

Awwwwwwwwwwww, everyone is so sweet! See, we all love you! And I bet if Boy met he-who-shall-not-be-named in a dark alley (or in bright and very public place, but dark alley sounds better ;)), he would kick his ass! Yeah! Rock on with your bad self Boy! (And by rock on with your bad self I naturally also mean don't forget to give your loverly girlfriend a fabulous foot massage tonight! ;) ;) ;) Because EVERYONE KNOWS that is what you do after you beat up a guy for your girlfriend =D I never said I wasn't random.)

Ok, moving on now. Can't wait for tomorrows edition, with all the details on the tatto-ing festivities of this evening =)

Read you tomorrow! =)

Blogger Quirkalot said...

I love you.

Blogger Tel said...

But you smell like cookies! That's not worthless! :-D

Blogger Sarah Smile said...

Really? You feel worthless? I feel kinda special today.

Yesterday I got cow lights in the mail from someone wonderful and funny and lovely.

Blogger xt said...

You made my heart ache, and made me feel not alone. Kisses to you on your day of the Mean Reds. I hope you're feeling better soon.

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