we have decided that since his skin problems have no seasonality, it must be a food allergy. i mean, it's that or all the crack he's been smoking. anyway, he has another two week course of pills and now the food trials begin. friends suggested we try a rice based diet, because it works for them. the internet wants me to try a raw diet, like chicken carcasses and pigs feet, and was very vocal about this being a great course of action in the case of a pregnant bitch. but seeing as pickles has had trouble conceiving (that damn penis!), we aren't sure about that one.
the vet suggested either pre-digested proteins, like in specialty foods, so that they won't be big enough to trigger his immune system. because those proteins, they are just huge. unfortunately, only people like paris and paris can afford to feed their dogs this way for extended periods of time, partly because they are richer than god (seriously. he always wears that same robe! and it's so last season!), but mostly because they wouldn't stand for this shit and would trade in for a more luis vuitton compatible model.
or, says the vet, we could try a protein he's never been exposed to. that way there would be no potential for allergy. she suggested ducks.
and also kangaroos. * gasp *
i don't know about you people, but there is no way my dog is eating a kangaroo. i'll let him poop on the kitchen floor (which i did, last night, because he was still sedated from the vet and i felt bad trying to make him walk outside) and i will hand feed him, and i would probably let him gnaw on a duck. but only the ones that don't have green heads, because dammit those green heads are cute.
i suspect i would let him eat people before i would feed him a kangaroo. only some people, (*cough* bush *cough*) but still. i also suspect that this makes me a bad person, but i think that's established fact at this point.
p.s. i think we may have found a new apartment! and i think it might be insect/mold/vermin free! cross your fingers and pray to the man in the retro robes for me! or you know, many armed lady with all the jewelry. you know what i mean.