September 27, 2005
21% percent of you hate me

if the voting (as of 12:30 pm pst) is any kind of indication, vodka is in the lead. which means whiskey will be the new president, at least 32 days a year, barring further "emergencies" at the ranch.

and which of you (besides Boy) voted for continuing spirit-crushing monotony????? what is wrong with you people? i mean, i knew he would vote that way, mostly because drunkeness on my part leads to requests for semi-nudity* on his, and also because once my spirit is broken it's more likely that i will finally agree to marry him. because he asks me like everyday.

but you guys... you have no excuse. you're just plain judasy. making you all judases. or, um, jud-i.

i bet moocow voted for that one. well, now we're feuding. and all this just because you say peep and i say peep.

wars have been waged for less, you know. just ask president whiskey over there. no, no. not that one.

*break out the banana-hammock! it's party-time!


Blogger Auntie Sassy said...

*thinking about johnny depp gives me a twinge in my peep.*


One more reason to love Kendra: I will now laugh like a doped up school girl ever time those evil little marshmallow abominations fill up the aisles at the grocery store.

Blogger Libby said...

Was I not supposed to vote for that? Oh snap.

And I'm with Sassy...I hate those peeps, but now they will forever remind me of pink tacos.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

God bless you for making this a world wherein those nastly little creatures will now have a purpose: making me laugh and blush in the supermarket (as do the cucumbers).

Blogger Calzone said...

I wanted to vote for heroin and maturbating until I'm raw but it wasn't an option.

Blogger Beeb said...

oooooooooo. fun.

oh and johnny depp gives me a peep twinge too.

Blogger Beeb said...

oooooooooo. fun.

oh and johnny depp gives me a peep twinge too.

Blogger MooCow said...

Sigh. Yet something else I get blamed for. Again.

Listen, you can have your definition of peep. That's fine. Personally I refer to what you call peeps as "fluzzubule," but you don't see me going all bloods vs crips on your hiney?

Oh wait...never mind. That was me.

Carry on.

Blogger crasspersonality said...

I voted for spirit-crushing monotony, but that's because liquor fucks me up and I don't like it when my skin smells like vodka at work (especially when people notice... and wink).

Blogger CommonWombat said...

Sorry Kendra, I don't drink, so the only option open to me was "Spirit crushing monotony." If only you had tossed me another option, like "Sex with monkeys," or "Eating my weight in orange rinds..."

Blogger Dan said...

Why wasn't there an option for vodka with whiskey? Seriously. 'V' and 'W' are next to each other in the alphabet so that makes them an excellent combination.

and now my thoughts are filling with ways to use 'Peep' in many lewd and suggestive sentences.


Blogger Grend31 said...

MooCow could not have done it. He has a solid alibi. He was in bed with someone at the time. That person shall remain anonymous to protect their identity and Moo's reputation.

Oh, and Moo... your cute pink peep bunny slippers were under my bed this morning. You can come over and pick them up any time.

Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

I totally voted for whiskey.

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