July 21, 2005
you like dogs?

and the answer to that, today, is a resounding FUCK NO. that is all.

but no it's not. pickles is driving me insane. soon i will clobber him with his food bowl, which is okay because he doesn't eat out of it anyway. i'm not sure if his naked parts are better yet, but he only has two days left of pills. so the question there is, do i suffer through another week or so of trying to get him to take the pills, or finish these ones and then risk the dog developing full on leprosy? 'cause lord knows we don't have enough problems with him being neurotic already.

and i don't even know if the pills are working. but the damn dog won't eat, and what he will eat is horrible for him and makes his poop smell funny. not funny like poop, either. and speaking of poop, here is where it would be really handy to have a digital camera. (hint. hint. august 1 is friendship day, eFriends. you better save your pennies.) every lawn on my street has tiny little piles of dog doo. like three on each patch of grass. that's a lot of doo.
pertinant statistical info regarding pickles' morning walk:

2: number of times stuck face in tiny pile of poop
1: number of times stuck face in large fly-encrusted one
3: number of times attempted to eat/makeout with dead bird
4: number of times peed on own foot
1: number of times ran into street to avoid the big scary hubcap leaning against a tree
0: number of times actually did the pooping himself

thanks, buddie. i'm glad we're clear on what the walk is for.

obviously we live in a very dog friendly neighborhood. there are four dogs in our building (it's a small building). two of them live upstairs. they are pomeranians, like the one pictured below.

now, pomeranians are yippy dogs to begin with, but i believe that forcing them to wear tiny pink sweaters undermines their inherent crediblity as tough dogs. no i am not for real, but try to follow along anyway. the miniature sweaters are castrating, so being the serious students of freud that they are, they make more noise to compensate for their maligned cojones. unless they're girls, then they make the noise to prove they are the red heather. anyway, these two upstairs are pretty typical in that ear piercing respect. but they tend to go with their people just about everywhere.

except, apparently, last night. when they were left to yip away until three o'clock in the morning.


as i was saying... you like dogs? good. come get three.


Anonymous Cj said...

Random "Heathers" references...this is why I like this blog. ;o)

love the picture, my drink came out of my nose when i scrolled down and saw it. i like dogs, but i understand. right now i am housesitting and watching 2 cats. they're gross and weird. who said cats were clean? who in their right mind would have 2 of them at once?

Blogger Beeb said...

my dog poops bigger than yours does.

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