July 10, 2005
vodka, camels, and general debauchery

the houseguests are gone. it's just me, Boy, pickles and the rash again. i have decided the vet is of little to no use. this is the second time we've brought pickles in with some sort of skin problem and the second time they have given us pills without a real diagnosis. so we'll try the pills (which made him throw up), but i've also started looking into holistic doggie health and also doggie dermatologists. because poor pickles. his naked parts are itchy. and it's spreading. he now has weird itchy balding parts on his knees and chest. soon he will be one big naked part. this has got to stop!

anyway, on friday night the houseguests took us to dinner. it was nice, but maybe that's because it was two for one cocktails and the martinis were free flowing. at dinner i learned the following:
1. StrangerRami was the fifth person in our dinner party. he was a stranger to me and Boy, but we assumed the houseguests knew him. but no. they met him in a bar the night before. they're better friend-makers than i am.
2. Boy is a good match for me, according to houseguests, because he didn't try to make a good impression. they liked his couch-sitting, beer-drinking ways.
3. PromDate drinks low carb peach and vanilla flavored martinis. heh.

after we left the restaurant, we went back to the house. and then suddenly we were going to vegas. me, PromDate, HouseGuest, and StrangerRami. Boy stayed home with pickles (what a good boyfriend! someone had to take him to the vet.), but we'll get to his eventful evening later. HouseGuest had never been to vegas, so it was very important to show her a good time. unfortunately, we didn't arrive till like two thirty, so while there was still lots going on, she didn't quite get the full effect. and by the time we arrived we smelled like ashtrays, thanks to PromDate's chainsmoking and grandma driving. it added atleast forty minutes to our drive. that's two to three cigarettes. camels. (these are not the only camels in my story. horray!)gross.

so we went to a few casinos, but let me tell you. apparently, the place to be is the barbary coast. dollar drinks. one dollar! at the coast PromDate won 85 dollars, StrangerRami lost 40, and HouseGuest and i got drunk. hooray for vodka! we met
these guys, who are from illinois, and were also drunk. in vegas. at four a.m. how odd! anyway, we started talking because they asked, and i quote, "do you always dress like that, or do you work somewhere?"

and i was drunk, so the next thing that happens is these poor kids from the middle, who claimed to be 21 (i have no proof either way) all of a sudden get big blunt trucker mouth me shouting across the bar

"do you think i'm a hooker?"

i think i hurt their feelings. but then i took a picture of them for your viewing pleasure, and we talked for a while. eric is not pictured, which is unfortunate because he was totally adorable. the one in the grey shirt wanted to call Boy and claim to be nekkid with me. i gave him the phone but as expected (see note in picture), he totally chickened out. here is what i learned at the barbary coast:
1. eric likes moms. i don't think this is as general a statement as he made it seem to be. from the parts i remember, anyway. it may just be one mom. i told him to talk to PromDate about this.
2. dollar drinks are small, but five dollars at the barbary coast is so much better than five dollars at aladdin.
3. it's fun to take pictures of girls dressed slutty to bring home to your Boy.
4. guys at the bar named "shitty" that look drunk enough to puke, well, they probably will.

after the barbary coast we went to dennys, where we had a big long discussion about this friend of PromDate's (who looks just like StrangerRami) and his obsession with girls named daisy. then our waitress finally came over. her name was daisy. even if i hadn't been whoring it up with the vodka all night this would have been funny.

then we toured vegas.

finally it was just too damn hot, so we went back to the car and changed in the aladdin parking garage, where some guys from texas got to see my naked ass. you're welcome! the drive home took FOREVER because PromDate drives like a nana, and i smelled so bad when we got back i showered twice with peppermint soap. i gave eric-who-likes-moms this blog site, even though he wanted my number, so i'm hopeful that he'll visit and comment. i have a Boy whom i love, but damn if i don't want people to read the junk i post here!

speaking of Boy, there's a whole 'nother story to what he did whilst i was in vegas... but i'll tell you tomorrow. 'nite!


Blogger haji-o-matic said...

FISHNET stockings...ALL the good hookers wear fishnet. You can't blame the guy for asking.

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