July 12, 2005

today's post will be devoted to asking the three very serious questions that have plagued me almost all morning long.

1. what the hell is wrong with the people in my neighborhood?

answer: well, for starters, they can't park. and i mean at all. within reasonable distance of the surrounding cars AND the curb? not gonna happen. it wouldn't leave any room for the little boy on the squeaky tricycle to ride up and down the street ringing his bells. and the loud chatting and cigar smoke outside my open window at night? really good for helping me sleep. no, no don't worry. my lungs can sleep when they're dead. also, if at all possible, could we hold off on burning couches on the lawn until the day before pickup? just so that i don't have to worry about my itchy dog scratching himself on charred sofa carcasses? oh, and apparently, i am some sort of mutant who may kill neighbors if they smile at me as i walk by. as i do every morning and night. even if i smile first. because clearly this is a trap.

2. why is the little girl with the big teeth so cute?

answer: because i am hormonal this week and want the babies (this week. deep breaths, Boy). and also because she has hordes of freckles on her big round cheeks and looks kind of like margaret or a precious moments doll. but without the weird wholesome and mildly jesusy aftertaste. (there is a precious moments theme park. intervention!)

3. why doesn't anyone comment on this blog?

answer: multiple choice.
A) they are trapped under furniture and desperately trying to comment (or get rescued, whichever), but are sadly unable.
B) they think someone else will. that's what they thought about stopping hitler*, people, and look how that turned out. comment now to stop nazis!
C) they hate me and my wildly inappropriate humor.
D) nobody reads this crap.

*please don't comment to tell me this was inappropriate, because i totally know. option C, remember? and i'm jewish, which may in fact make it even worse. inappropriate is my bread and butter. but please do comment for other reasons, like making friends and sharing patterns and recipes. mmm... patterns and recipes. thank you.


Anonymous Kendra said...

Okay, you ask for a comment, you got this one. From another Kendra, who also lives in California, in LA but more coastal, no less. How weird is that? I linked through to your blog, I think from JenLa, and was quite suprised to find I had a doppleganger so near by. I don't know about your experience, but I came across ZERO other Kendras until the past couple of years, and I've been one for 50 sumthin years now. So there you go!

Blogger miss kendra said...

i swear that the above comment was not me! but how awesome! i love kendras that live Here!!!

to answer your question, i have actually known two other kendras. one had my exact full name and both (i repeat: both had my birthday. are you a libra?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well i find it hard to believe that you know 2 fellow Kendras...and with the same B-Day no less.

Anonymous beeb said...

A) i'm trapped under a burning sofa and cannot comment...so. send. help. fast.

Blogger haji-o-matic said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Anonymous Kendra said...

Gulp. Do I dare admit I am a Libra?

Anonymous Marcie said...

I don't find it hard to believe that you know two other Kendra's with the same birthday as you. You wanna know why? It's because weird stuff happens to you a lot. Just look at our freaky friendship since we were nine. Yeah, weird stuff over the years.

Anonymous Laura said...

you're funny. I like funny. I like comments, you want comments. All is good.

(found you in Aunt Purl's comments, btw.)

Blogger human said...

I'm reading!
And now commenting...even if it is, like, 3 years after the fact, this stuff is still thoroughly amusing and I'm sad I'm so late to the entertaining party that is Kendra...
but I'm glad to be here nonetheless!

-mahna mahna!

Oh yeah, this is kimmay

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