July 19, 2005
always the bridesmaid...

here's where i tell you all about my trip back to the Bean last month. it was totally fun (i think) and i have so many memories (thanks for that, kodak) to look back upon. because i'm not really remembering them on my own. and thanks for that, absolut screwdrivers. you rock.

it all began in maybe late april, when my bestest friend and secret superhero twin decided to up and wed. it wasn't a huge surprise, seeing as those two kids have been together since the cow went out (get it... cuz the cows come home... ha.) what was a surprise was the whole "we're getting married in june" thing. not that june was unexpected either. june is THE month for weddings. i hear. i would totally not know. but really, it was the fact that june was then only about five or six weeks away. meaning i instantly bought a plane ticket home (with layovers in atlanta and (AND!) fort worth. because i am so poor.) and a nice gift (instruction manuals for makin' whoopee) and then got myself a date to the wedding. in the form of an ex. that's really not as exciting as it sounds. the three of us (me, Ex and Bride) went to college together. where we all got real learned.

anyhow, i took a couple days off work to read about six books on a plane. oh, and you know, to see this. bow tie = totally worth it. the ceremony was recognizable as a wedding despite its serious lack of shotguns, and incredibly short, which was nice. i wore a swell dress, which is really unimportant but the picture is cute.

*warning* emotions off the port bow!

the wedding was so lovely i almost cried. nice try, Groom, but i said almost. it was a very different experience to see two people get married who were both clearly very excited to be there. and then clearly very excited to be somewhere else. there was some drinking (more on that later) and some discussion of the Bride's bachelorette party. which i missed. because i live Here. but it was so good to see the event, and even better just to see the Bride. overall this wedding gets five out of five stars. hooray for beeb! congratulations!

and now back to our regular programming.

the rest of weekend was kind of a bender. pretty much immediately after getting off the plane (just after my hair swelled to gargantuan proportions-- missed you, humidity! don't forget to write!)i was called out to paddy kelly's, the bar i discovered with julievalentine, all one word, after a dry wedding a few summers back. imagine that. a dry wedding. that was, without a doubt, a one star wedding. but paddy kelly's changed all that. it was a desert oasis: imagine a bar. with drinks that can kill-- like shots called "lying naked on the bathroom floor." that's truth in advertising right there. run by guy with an excellent irish accent. 'twas heaven on earth. *sigh*

so we (meaning me and my friends... because i used to have them outside my head and the worldwideweb) started going there whole lots. and it was one of the places i missed. yeah... i missed that place. certainly not just the sweet sweet nectar of triple distilled vodka. mmmmmm.

anyway, once at paddy kelly's, i began exacting a complex (and not yet complete--send vodka! the liver must pay!) revenge upon my liver for its many filtration transgressions. i was there with Lola and her man PhillyCheeseSteak, and BigBrother--otherwise known as my old boss. all of whom are pictured here. later came leslie* and julievalentine, all one word, but i don't really remember that. after a nine hour plane ride day, one small soft taco for dinner, and oh, about 7 or 10 screwdrivers, i kind of got drunk.

sorry, eFriends. i have no pictures of me dancing on my barstool. although my shimmyshake does deserve to be seen. i also do not have pictures of me throwing up many many times out the side of BigBrother's truck, or of him rubbing my sweaty back as i continued to do so, or of him carrying me into Lola's home where i passed out on the couch. and woke up several hours later to the carpet pulled out from under me (way to protect your property, Lola) and a huge bucket beside my sweaty spinny head.

nor do i have pictures of the day following this excursion, where i continued the vomiting trend (everyone needs a hobby) and laid about dramatically in my bed-- until i got out of it to drink some more.

on a completely different note, when i had this film developed i found some old pictures on there. here is the first one. at first i didn't even notice bug (aka he who shall not be spoken of because it makes me feel like a bad doggie mama) on Boy's legs. then this one, which made me sad. i will honor the memory of bug, who did not make the grade as a member of our family, by posting his painfully adorable pictures here. here's to hoping bug found a better foster family, who could handle his difficult behavior, because when he was not making me want to squash him, he was freaking cute.

and tomorrow, the fat.

*and her creepy boyfriend. who i used to think was okay, until well, lots of things i won't say here. but case in point: he got her FACE tattooed on his arm. without her knowledge. and yet she stays...


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Blogger Beeb said...

hey girl! you are so super-fabuloso! i love pictures of us...it makes me feel like a midget. i'll have to get a pic of the four of us together up...land of the giants. ;) i am so glad you could make it. there isn't a friend out there that would do that for me. and really the day wouldn't have been complete (family only or not!).

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